Piercing a 2yr olds ears..

[Thelogicescapesme]

It's not a cultural thing in this case, more so the toddler is being treat like a fashion accessory. Mum had it done because mum thinks it's "pretty and girly"

As an adult whom has had to have two piercings surgically removed and antibiotics for complications post procedure I think it's fucking bonkers that anybody would inflict it on a small child.

AIBU and what are your thoughts?

I fainted after having mine done (in H Samuel aged 12)! I’ve had various other parts of my ear, navel, and nose done since then and didn’t pass out so the lobes were the worst for me. They were sore for ages afterwards too and I never wear earrings now either. My DD is 4 and I wouldn’t take her yet, I think 10+ is a good age to have them done.

No one should get a piercing at Claire's. Adult or child.
They pierce with a gun, so ram a sharp earring through your flesh. A professional piercer who uses a hollow needle and then fills the hole it leaves with a correctly sized bar is a much better option.
Plus those guns can't be cleaned properly between each use

Ah it's time for one of these goady threads again. And right on cue I see posters have already called it vile and abusive.

All we need now is a poster to liken it to genital mutilation and we'll have the MN bingo full house.

Provided they're kept clean, piercings don't become infected or problematic. In many countries in Europe and other parts of the world this is done when babies are newborn or very young, without all this endless angst or suggestions that horrible infections are inevitable.

OP, YABU. Unless it's your child getting the piercing, you need to keep your beak out.

I think 10+ is alot more reasonable.

Babies and toddlers though, just awful.

It's illegal to smack a child and leave a mark but perfectly legal to push pins into their skin leaving life long marks. Makes perfect sense.

(No I'm not pro smacking, I wouldn't dream of doing that either, just highlighting the hypocrisy)

No, YADNBU.
I don't have my ears pierced, and I think there's nothing wrong with getting your ears pierced IF ( if! ) you're old enough to decide for yourself and to be explained to that it might hurt.
Then on your own head be it (literally, ha)
Babies and toddlers just no.
They're not fashion accessories, or something to push your cultural norms on.
Just a person in their own right that should get to choose what happens to their body.

@Grenlei

Ah it's time for one of these goady threads again. And right on cue I see posters have already called it vile and abusive.

All we need now is a poster to liken it to genital mutilation and we'll have the MN bingo full house.

Provided they're kept clean, piercings don't become infected or problematic. In many countries in Europe and other parts of the world this is done when babies are newborn or very young, without all this endless angst or suggestions that horrible infections are inevitable.

OP, YABU. Unless it's your child getting the piercing, you need to keep your beak out.

It's fucking vile putting a baby though having their ears pierced for literally no reason. I don't give a shit if you think I'm being goady. It's disgusting and unnecessary. Ffs.

Provided they're kept clean, piercings don't become infected or problematic.

What a load of crap.

Have you not heard of piercings migrating or becoming embedded after trauma to the area?

You don't see the appeal for a toddler to tug on the jewellery or for somebody else's child to do the same?

Toddlers are so well known for their safety awareness

I agree with you that it isn't something I would do, and I don't really understand why people would, but then in a way I think it's waiter to look after a small child with a piercing, as you have more control over their hygiene. As a 10 year old, I was expected to look after my own ears and although I was generally quite diligent, there were times I couldn't be bothered or forgot, and they went crusty. If I had been small, my mum would have looked after them and taken better care. As I had petitioned to have them done, against my dad's wishes, the compromise was that I was responsible for aftercare if I was old enough to make a decision like that.

*easier not waiter

Child abuse and it shouldn’t be allowed imo. It’s unbelievable that in 2021 it’s considered ok for people to punch holes in their unconsenting children.

Also not seeing how it's goady?
It's a genuine question as far as I can see.
Just because you may do it and make you think (not saying this is the case here, obviously don't know you) doesn't mean it's goady.
Some people may think it's fine to pierce baby's ears because it's something they want to do.
Just like others don't want to pierce baby's ears as it's not their ears and why should they get a say in whether their child wants to have holes in their ears or not.

I don’t agree with piercing small children’s ears. Something being a “cultural tradition” doesn’t mean that some people get a pass whilst others don’t. It’s not right either way.

I wouldn't, but I couldn't care less if other people do.
There is actual, real child abuse going on, and ear piercing is not it.

Funnily enough OP, in countries where infant ear piercing is commonplace theres not thousands of babies with the piercing problems you allude to. In my own family babies ears have been pierced for many generations without incident. So I don't accept that injury, infection or other unfortunate consequence is inevitable.

Something being a “cultural tradition” doesn’t mean that some people get a pass whilst others don’t. It’s not right either way

Exactly this

This is going to be really controversial so I don my hard hat
but
when it comes to "cultural norms" it all goes on what your culture deems "right" (for want of a better word!)
FGM is absolutely vile, it's in no way comparable so please no-one get me wrong, but it's still the same kind of behaviour - why is ear piercing babies seen as A'OK by lots?
My comparison is only in the sense that both of them put your beliefs on a child when it affects their bodies and not yours.

@Grenlei

Funnily enough OP, in countries where infant ear piercing is commonplace theres not thousands of babies with the piercing problems you allude to. In my own family babies ears have been pierced for many generations without incident. So I don't accept that injury, infection or other unfortunate consequence is inevitable.

Atleast %20 of all piercings end up infected, so I would safely say that there will thousands of young children who've had problems with their piercings.

Ok for all those who think piercing a babies ears is acceptable, how would you feel as an adult someone coming along & piercing your ears without your consent?
As basically that's what it boils down to consent.

@TracyBeakerSoYeah

Ok for all those who think piercing a babies ears is acceptable, how would you feel as an adult someone coming along & piercing your ears without your consent? As basically that's what it boils down to consent.

Thats comparing apples and oranges. Children can not legally give consent. You wouldn't ask a toddler to consent to surgery either, you'd ask the parent. Up to a certain point, parents can decide what happens to their child. I'm not a fan of piercing children, but in the grand scheme of things it's really not something to get worked up about.

@TracyBeakerSoYeah

Ok for all those who think piercing a babies ears is acceptable, how would you feel as an adult someone coming along & piercing your ears without your consent? As basically that's what it boils down to consent.

Yep exactly.

Most people would call the police, me included.

@Quaggars
Exactly this! Not many people in the UK would say "I know FGM is vile but if it's a cultural tradition then that's different, crack on"

Cultural tradition as an excuse for deliberately hurting babies /toddlers/children is BS

And a poster makes a comparison to FGM... bingo.

Unbelievable.

Do you think it's acceptable to pierce a babies nose or face @Grenlei

If not then why the ears?

Children can not legally give consent. You wouldn't ask a toddler to consent to surgery either, you'd ask the parent.

How is that the same though?
Surgery is to help them, presumably they're ill.
Of course you'd give consent then.
Punching a hole in their ear as your culture says it looks cool or is the right thing to do or whatever?
Not so much,

@Thelogicescapesme

The piercings were done at Claire's accessories too, so same place as PP above. They don't have the best reputation when it comes to this.

I think there's probably good reason reputable piercers wouldn't go sticking needles in toddlers but that logic escapes Claire's obviously.

No the mum isn't my DIL but a close relative. I spend alot of time with the child so know that it's a disaster waiting to happen, pulling on the jewellery etc.

I was walking through a shopping centre a few years ago and could hear toddler screaming and crying (guessed at the age of the child by the pitch) and when I got to Claire's Accessories I could see through the shop front two women literally holding down a girl of about 2 years old while her ears were being pierced. She was screaming, crying and struggling so hard - it took two adults to hold her down. It was so awful to witness so I sent a message to Claire's head office and they basically told me to myob. That poor child was so obviously distressed, how could they have done that to her when she so clearly didn't want it done? Where was her accountability and consent?

I had my ears pierced aged 4 - by my 13 yo older sister with an ice cube and a sewing needle!

I wouldn’t recommend it - but I don’t think it’s child abuse and it didn’t hurt much. She was just a very daft 13 yo. We laugh about it now. I’ve offered to babysit her DDs many times, but she knows better 😁