Piercing a 2yr olds ears..

[Thelogicescapesme]

It's not a cultural thing in this case, more so the toddler is being treat like a fashion accessory. Mum had it done because mum thinks it's "pretty and girly"

As an adult whom has had to have two piercings surgically removed and antibiotics for complications post procedure I think it's fucking bonkers that anybody would inflict it on a small child.

AIBU and what are your thoughts?

Hate seeing young children with pierced ears. It looks chavvy. (I know MN hates that word, but I’m using it anyway)

I think piercing should be banned for all under 16s (culture included). Let someone make up their own mind if they want to be pierced when they reach an age when they can consider all the options and potential consequences rationally

@Thelogicescapesme

The piercings were done at Claire's accessories too, so same place as PP above. They don't have the best reputation when it comes to this.

I think there's probably good reason reputable piercers wouldn't go sticking needles in toddlers but that logic escapes Claire's obviously.

No the mum isn't my DIL but a close relative. I spend alot of time with the child so know that it's a disaster waiting to happen, pulling on the jewellery etc.

Personally I would choose a traditional place with actually a hot needle rather than a gun. I don't think Claire's do that. It's not necessarily a disaster waiting to happen. We did both our girls aged 18m old. It was done properly in India they never pulled on it, it healed fine and I'm glad it was done then that way it's fully healed for school and we can go weeks without putting anything in with no issue. Some of their friends had their ears pierced more recently aged 7 to 9 and many of them had issue with infection and it just then closed off. So to me it's fine if done properly and taken care of. Worse things going on in the world when it comes to 'child abuse'... We almost had our sons ears done as well but he had a chest infection when we went to India so got distracted and not been since. That could be an issue because he wants them done but at age 4 it is a lot more a recipe for disaster. And of course cultural acceptance in the UK for a boy with earrings is a concern.

My mum had my ears pierced when I was 6 months old (I obviously have no memory of it ) I really liked at school how I was one of the only kids in my class with earrings.

I don't particularly agree or disagree with it.

I hate it when people state how it looks, as a valid argument against piercing a babies ears. (Chavvy, tacky, trashy etc )
What babies wear is generally down to the parents style and taste but shouldnt really be a cause for concern unless weather, or (less likely) age inappropriate. Having their ears pierced could cause harm to a baby,but what it looks like shouldnt be an issue.

For all those saying it isn’t abusive (painfully putting holes in a child’s ear for an adult’s perception of beauty), where is your line?

My DC can have their ears pierced when they ask. I've told them it hurts, so they haven't asked yet!

@Kollamoolitumarellipawkyrollo

For all those saying it isn’t abusive (painfully putting holes in a child’s ear for an adult’s perception of beauty), where is your line?

When they’re old enough to understand that it hurts and that they say they actually want it done…..

I thoroughly dislike it because I don't agree with intentionally inflicting pain on a baby / toddler and object to the concept that a child should be dollied up to look pretty.

My DIL had our GD's ears pierced as a baby at Claire's. Thankfully she hasn't had any problems with them. I have bitten my tongue, hard.

I said to my kids they have to wait till secondary school and then have them done in the summer holidays. It was non negotiable. I don't agree with piercing young children, they can not consent at all.

@Fizbosshoes

I hate it when people state how it looks, as a valid argument against piercing a babies ears. (Chavvy, tacky, trashy etc ) What babies wear is generally down to the parents style and taste but shouldnt really be a cause for concern unless weather, or (less likely) age inappropriate. Having their ears pierced could cause harm to a baby,but what it looks like shouldnt be an issue.

To me it just makes it look like the parents don't give a shit about their kids

@Quaggars

Can't get worked up about it. Find it just appalling that someone is comparing it to FGM.

If that's to me, I specifically said I wasn't comparing the two?
Just that they're both seen as "cultural."
What makes one OK but the other not?

Because FGM causes long term psychological and physical scarring, impairs sexual and urological function for life and is extremely painful and distressing.

Whereas having your ears pierced hurts for about 5 seconds and has no lasting negative effects.

Surely thats pretty obvious!

It's not for me, aside from the pain and aftercare and possible complications, I don't think it looks nice on babies/ toddlers.

DD can have hers pierced when she asks- she's 9 and understands that it hurts, they need to be kept clean etc. She isn't interested at the moment despite lots of her friends having pierced ears.

I don't like pierced ears on kids but I do think people on here are being rather overdramatic. Its a very minor and reversible procedure. People calling it child abuse and being overdramatic and very much downplaying actual child abuse.

Find me one child who has had long term harm caused to them by ear piercing.

@CrouchEndTiger12

Honestly she was fine, loved them, still does. She reminded me to apply her special lotion 3 times a day

But after seeing a previous post about a poor baby who died I actually wish I was aware of those risks tbh and the fact I wasn't, I'm quite shocked and ashamed.

20% infected? Where does that stat come from. Me thinks not. Unlike OP, millions of people get ears pierced, with no problems. I had mine done late, as a teenager, 3 on each bottom lobe, and 1 helix. No pain whatsoever, no infection, nothing.

I have ds's, so no dd's to consider piercings!

You are just making your one experience generalised, when it's not.

I think its a bit mean to put a child through pain for beauty! If the child has asked its a bit different but 2 is too young to understand. I thought 8 was widely accepted as the youngest appreciate age?

*appropriate

I'm a bit confused by the people who are going on about babies/toddlers being too young to give consent.

Firstly, we don't ask their consent for vaccinations, for example. The reason I use this example is because if the last year has proven anything it's that thousands of people wouldn't have had those childhood vaccinations if the choice was theirs, however at that age we, as parents, make numerous decisions on our children's behalf. I'm not specifically comparing medical reasons to aesthetic reasons before anyone bites.

Secondly, at 2 years old my LG is perfectly capable of asking for her ears to be pierced or saying that she doesn't want her ears pierced. Myself and DP have already had the conversation that we're not comfortable until her having them done until she's 5 at least so she's old enough to understand about keeping them clean etc, but there's a good chance the child did give their consent.

Dont agree with it and I say that as a woman with many tattoo's and piercings. My DD wont be getting hers done until she is old enough to decide.

However, if my parents had done this to me as a young child I think I would have found it quite traumatic and I would definitely be harbouring some resentment about it now.

I had my ears pierced as a baby:
•I am not traumatised by it. I don't know and have never heard of anybody who was

•parents aren't forcing their kid to get their ears done past the baby stage. If they were that insistent (due to culture), they'd do it at birth

•it's not by force that you must wear earrings. There's nothing to resent. I literally went 8 years without wearing earrings once before using again. No pain. I'm glad I had it done.

Also, my DDs ears aren't pierced. I personally didn't want to do it.

They can't consent to it, therefore it shouldn't be done.

I wouldn't, but I couldn't care less if other people do.
There is actual, real child abuse going on, and ear piercing is not it.

Very true. Some perspective is needed

@girlmom21

I'm a bit confused by the people who are going on about babies/toddlers being too young to give consent.

Firstly, we don't ask their consent for vaccinations, for example. The reason I use this example is because if the last year has proven anything it's that thousands of people wouldn't have had those childhood vaccinations if the choice was theirs, however at that age we, as parents, make numerous decisions on our children's behalf. I'm not specifically comparing medical reasons to aesthetic reasons before anyone bites.

Secondly, at 2 years old my LG is perfectly capable of asking for her ears to be pierced or saying that she doesn't want her ears pierced. Myself and DP have already had the conversation that we're not comfortable until her having them done until she's 5 at least so she's old enough to understand about keeping them clean etc, but there's a good chance the child did give their consent.

The thing is, can a 5 year old really understand everything that can go wrong when you introduce foreign bodies into her ears? Like a PP said, it can be as severe as death. Obviously the chances are slim but they are still there. I say this as someone with many piercings so I'm not against them.