Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Piercing a 2yr olds ears..

337 replies

Thelogicescapesme · 09/07/2021 23:29

It's not a cultural thing in this case, more so the toddler is being treat like a fashion accessory. Mum had it done because mum thinks it's "pretty and girly"

As an adult whom has had to have two piercings surgically removed and antibiotics for complications post procedure I think it's fucking bonkers that anybody would inflict it on a small child.

AIBU and what are your thoughts?

OP posts:
cookiecreampie · 10/07/2021 13:33

I don't really agree with it. My daughters won't be having it done until they ask for it and ideally that will be over the age of ten. I had mine done at 12 and the whole stud got embedded in the hole, the same thing happened to my sister, I just think it's unnecessary suffering to a baby who's teething etc. But having said that, I don't think anyone has been harmed long term from having their ears pierced, so there's more things in life that get me riled up more than this.

Original poster
Thelogicescapesme · 10/07/2021 13:36

What does irritate is the supreme judginess of certain posters like the OP, whose smug self righteousness is frankly nauseating

Grin

I suppose you're the sort to avert your eyes if you came across a child being clipped around the ear in a supermarket or on the street. I couldn't care less what you make of my judgement.

What's nauseating is the constant attempts to justify stabbing holes in small children for aesthetic purposes.

OP posts:
LST · 10/07/2021 13:37

@Grenlei what is nauseating is people being ok with inflicting bodily harm on a baby or toddler for no reason

oblada · 10/07/2021 13:40

@Thelogicescapesme

What does irritate is the supreme judginess of certain posters like the OP, whose smug self righteousness is frankly nauseating Grin

I suppose you're the sort to avert your eyes if you came across a child being clipped around the ear in a supermarket or on the street. I couldn't care less what you make of my judgement.

What's nauseating is the constant attempts to justify stabbing holes in small children for aesthetic purposes.

I suppose the main difference OP is that nobody cares that you don't like babies with ears pierced and nobody would be interested in reporting it. You don't like it. Fine. You judge others for it. Fine, you are perfectly to judge others in this way, your narrow mindedness only hurts you anyway. Ultimately you cannot do anything about it. That's the bottom line.

Reporting a child being hit would however attract some attention from the police and/or social services.

Maharajah20 · 10/07/2021 13:41

@LST

Genuine question. What is the point of it? Like the actual point of getting a baby or toddlers ears pierced?
Genuine answer. I think it looks nice. For me it wasn’t anything to do with culture. I just like it. Simple as that. 🤷‍♀️
OhWhyNot · 10/07/2021 13:42

You can apply that to many ideas that we have culturally or from religion that so often crosses over

You do need to get it, you may not agree with it fine and think it’s vile but to call parents who are good loving caring parents good people abusive because they have their child’s ears pierced is wrong that is not abuse as it isn’t intentionally to cause their child pain (I’m not sure you did call them abusers but it has been said on this thread)

Loads of times on MN I’ve been told I must have looked like a chav/common as a young girl because I had my ears pierced. Usually when I point out it’s cultural for myself I get comments well that’s ok. Which is even worse what my family and culture don’t know any better

oblada · 10/07/2021 13:43

'perfectly free'

Actually your freedom to judge others can be equated to the freedom others have in being able to make that decision for their families.

We all have different views, that's just how it is. There are loads of things I disagree with others when it comes to parenting though i wouldn't personally waste my energy in actively judging them. I just do it differently for my own children and I'm comfortable with my choices.

Grenlei · 10/07/2021 13:53

You'd be wrong OP Smile

For the record, when I saw someone slap their kid around the head in a public place, I told her exactly what I thought of her. Couldn't report her as I didn't know who she was or where she lived so I did what I could.

But feel free to continue to make your judgy assumptions about me and my values purely because I think piercing a baby or child's ears is acceptable.

Biancadelrioisback · 10/07/2021 13:55

@LST

Genuine question. What is the point of it? Like the actual point of getting a baby or toddlers ears pierced?
Well, one of the ancient practices was using ear piercings to protect the brain from being invaded my demons or to ward off evil spirits.

It was also a way to showcase family wealth for Nobel families or alternatively, a way to protect precious metals and jewels from being stolen.

As with everything, the original meanings are no longer relevant and now it's mainly just because people like the look of it or think it's better to do it before the child is old enough to remember the pain.

Biancadelrioisback · 10/07/2021 13:57

I think it was also done to show off strength/fearlessness and/or intimidate enemies. I'm sure I read there was a tribe where warriors pierced their bodies after successfully defeating an enemy so it was a physical representation of how 'tough' someone was.

Talkwhilstyouwalk · 10/07/2021 13:58

Wouldn't do it myself and it's completely unnecessary, but different cultures have different ideas and in the scheme of things it's pretty harmless.....so each to there own! Xx

girlmom21 · 10/07/2021 14:02

@Thelogicescapesme

I judge people for inflicting unnecessary harm on small children absolutely.

I think anybody who takes a hard line against hurting children is a better person than those who don't.

Have you actually addressed your concerns with your relative? Or are you just content with slagging them off online?
Flaxmeadow · 10/07/2021 14:12

I had my ears pierced when I was a baby. Ffs! It wasn’t child abuse, good god! My parents aren’t British and I find the whole ‘ear piercing’ shock extremely weird in this country,
I had a friend who wanted her ears pierced. It was my first experience of this weirdness. The shock that I actually had my ears pierced as a baby. Big deal, I don’t remember it and now, at 45 still have my holes and I’ve not put earring in for about two years.
Love every Brit getting their knickers in a twist about it

I've seen some excuses for having a go at the 'Brits' but this takes some beating and actually it was part of British culture to pierce very young girls ears decades ago. I'm middle age and most of my young school friends had pierced ears, but thankfully we're moving away from the senseless cultural stupidity of it now.

I had mine pierced young. We had small gold hinged hoops called 'sleepers'. Had to twist them around a few times a day. Right pain they were and always catching on clothes or when playing

Its painful, cruel and unnecessary to pierce very young girls ears and especially when they're much too young to understand why their mum would take them somewhere and to have this painful procedure done. Awful

Flaxmeadow · 10/07/2021 14:14

...and 'culture' is no excuse either

Original poster
Thelogicescapesme · 10/07/2021 14:18

Have you actually addressed your concerns with your relative? Or are you just content with slagging them off online?

Yep, I've told them exactly what I think.

OP posts:
BlueCupOrangeCup · 10/07/2021 14:19

I have my ears pierced. I was eleven years old and I asked my mum...pleaded. it hurt and I put a brave indignant face on in front of mum for daaays 😂

I couldn't piece a poor innocent babies/toddlers ears who did not ask for it and cannot consent. There is no medical need. I Feel sick thinking of the child yelping and screaming in pain from something I did to it, for something (in my view) completely unnecessary.

I realise that sounds quite dramatic, but I cannot hurt babies. I just can't.

Maharajah20 · 10/07/2021 14:27

@Thelogicescapesme

Have you actually addressed your concerns with your relative? Or are you just content with slagging them off online?

Yep, I've told them exactly what I think.

What was their reply to you?
alongwiththesunshine · 10/07/2021 14:31

@BlueCupOrangeCup

I have my ears pierced. I was eleven years old and I asked my mum...pleaded. it hurt and I put a brave indignant face on in front of mum for daaays 😂

I couldn't piece a poor innocent babies/toddlers ears who did not ask for it and cannot consent. There is no medical need. I Feel sick thinking of the child yelping and screaming in pain from something I did to it, for something (in my view) completely unnecessary.

I realise that sounds quite dramatic, but I cannot hurt babies. I just can't.

Oh please, my daughter didn't even flinch and my 3 month old niece cried for 10 seconds then was fine.
Cavalierqueen · 10/07/2021 14:37

FGM bad. Ear piercing bad. Male circumcision never berated. You pick and choose your judgment according to which cultures you feel are free to insult. How about campaigning for other cultures who circumcise boys and prevent girls from being educated on your very doorstep?

oblada · 10/07/2021 14:38

If done properly it really shouldn't hurt much at all. My girls were more bothered by the fact that they had to stay still than the actual piercing of the skin. There are really much more important things in life to get worked up about.

LadyWhistledownsPen · 10/07/2021 14:38

I won't let my DD go anywhere near a piercing gun until she's old enough to know exactly what's involved and can make her own mind up. I was forced to get my ears pierced when I was about 5. It hurt and of course I couldn't look after them properly so my ear lobes got infected. I let the holes heal up and I've never got them pierced again.

Cavalierqueen · 10/07/2021 14:39

I have seen children having their ears pierced and I have not felt bad. I did see a disgusting scene at the salon in Lebanon when a small baby, not even toddling was pinned down for a blow dry with both the mother and stylist screaming at her. Her cries were haunting and terrifying and L ever left me, that child was abused and probably a lot worse than we know. A quick snap of an ear piercing from caring and loving parents is so obviously different.

FlyingBattie · 10/07/2021 14:44

Just popping in to say that my piercer not recommended to "turn" earrings. Doing so delays the healing process. He said just to gently wipe away the crusty stuff with warm salt water but otherwise leave them alone.
This is nothing to do with the thread but something I've seen in a couple of posts.

Original poster
Thelogicescapesme · 10/07/2021 14:52

3 month old niece cried for 10 seconds

Oh well that's ok then, an almost newborn baby was hurt and frightened but she only cried for 10 seconds so it doesn't matter Hmm

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 10/07/2021 14:56

@Thelogicescapesme she's not exactly going to be traumatised by it though is she Hmm she'll never remember it.

Funny that you responded to that but not the PP who asked how your relative responded when you confronted them.

Swipe left for the next trending thread