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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think it’s ok that my sister collects her kids that have been exposed to covid?

142 replies

TableFlowerss · 09/07/2021 23:25

My sister and ex bil have a fantastic relationship and share access between 3 kids 8, 13, 14 about 50:50. Works brilliantly, has done for years. Kids thriving, patents get on really well.

Kids were with dad since Saturday. Dad started feeling unwell Monday so got tested and he has covid. So kids are with dad at the min self isolating, so my DSIS can’t physically see them. She’s dropped stuff off like food, but keeps her distance and drops it off at the gate and talks through the window and uses face time.

Kids are fine generally, although a bit bored. Stil happy to be off school though!

She’s really missing them though an is struggling not being able to hug them etc…. She said she doesn’t give a shit about covid and she’s going fo collect them tomorrow as they’re bored shitless at dads house as poor sod is still having fo work do can’t entertain them.

She will self isolate and her DH will have to as well, but she’s not bothered as she just wants to hug her kids and can’t wait until next Saturday to see them properly and cuddle and give them kisses.

Her DH thinks she’s being silly, but I can totally see her point of view. She will isolate but she’ll have to be off work next week but so what?

Thoughts?

OP posts:
JaffaRaf · 09/07/2021 23:28

Why would she have to isolate if the kids don’t have symptoms? I’m sure you are allowed to collect your own children in these circumstances anyway, children need caring for by a well adult. But as a contact of a contact she doesn’t need to isolate unless the children show symptoms I’m sure?

Middlesboroughgirl · 09/07/2021 23:33

I'd have got them straight away. If their dad is ill he would probably appreciate it. They are probably bored. The longer they stay there the more likely they are to contract or. Plus they are her kids and she wants to see them.

NoNobramma · 09/07/2021 23:39

She can collect them but then they need to isolate, she doesn’t until and unless one of them tests positive. As they’re children I’d be testing around 2/3 after they started spending time with their dad tbh as they may just be asymptomatic.

TableFlowerss · 09/07/2021 23:40

@JaffaRaf

Why would she have to isolate if the kids don’t have symptoms? I’m sure you are allowed to collect your own children in these circumstances anyway, children need caring for by a well adult. But as a contact of a contact she doesn’t need to isolate unless the children show symptoms I’m sure?
Sorry I didn’t make it clear, children are showing symptoms. Bit of a cough etc but then they’ve been cooped up with dad for a few days whose positive so they’re bound to get it. They’ve not been tested but it would be impossible that they wouldn’t get it
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TableFlowerss · 09/07/2021 23:41

To add- they’re totally fine. They certainly aren’t poorly with it but I’d eat hat with a horse if they’ve not got it after being with dad for 5 days

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supersonicginandtonic · 09/07/2021 23:41

She's being ridiculous. My kids had it just after chrustmas, same situation. They're 12 and 13. I left them until they had finished isolation. It's a few more days and if they're showing symptoms, they should not be leaving their dads house.

AntiSocialDistancer · 09/07/2021 23:42

They need to be tested then and she needs to isolate for 10 days.

WhenZoomWasJustAnIceLolly · 09/07/2021 23:44

I would have got them straight away and tried to avoid them catching it. Obviously then isolated with them.

JanFebAnyMonth · 09/07/2021 23:46

It does sound likely they’ve got it but it’s by no means impossible that it’s a “normal” cough. Transmission within households is nowhere near 100%, even with delta.

Govt advice is not to move children who should be isolating, although parents may decide it’s necessary if there’s a Child Arrangements Order in place.

childlawadvice.org.uk/coronavirus-separated-families-and-contact/

DivorcedAndDelighted · 09/07/2021 23:48

The kids might still not get Covid. There have been plenty of families where antibody surveys show that not all members of the same household get infected (I'm a researcher in this field). In particular, kids are less likely to show evidence of past infection than parents, ie there is statistical evidence that this is quite common.

But if they have symptoms, she should get them tested as it could help their future medical records.

I think she's perfectly reasonable to collect them.

PoliteNotice · 09/07/2021 23:52

I think her husband's thoughts on this should be listened to if he is also expected to then isolate and be off work too. Although I'd feel the dame as your sister. I just don't think his opinion should be ignored considering it will affect him also.

lazyarse123 · 09/07/2021 23:56

She's being ridiculous. How far does she want to spread it? Her poor dh should not have to risk getting it for the sake of a few days.

Merriwicks · 10/07/2021 00:00

My 4 year old had covid and no one else in the house got it and I co sleep with her. (household tested twice in the following 2 weeks) I get tested every 2 weeks and antibody tests every month and I have never have covid that I know off. So just because exposed and in the same house does not necessarily mean they will get it. My daughter caught it by returning something to a neighbour for me and going into their house for 10 minutes maximum! It is sooo strange how it works.

TableFlowerss · 10/07/2021 00:06

@supersonicginandtonic

She's being ridiculous. My kids had it just after chrustmas, same situation. They're 12 and 13. I left them until they had finished isolation. It's a few more days and if they're showing symptoms, they should not be leaving their dads house.
I totally understand what you’re saying. They aren’t with a stranger, he’s their dad, who they live with 50% of the time and he’s a great dad at that to give credit where it’s due.
OP posts:
TableFlowerss · 10/07/2021 00:07

@lazyarse123

She's being ridiculous. How far does she want to spread it? Her poor dh should not have to risk getting it for the sake of a few days.
Her DH works from home
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TableFlowerss · 10/07/2021 00:10

@Merriwicks

My 4 year old had covid and no one else in the house got it and I co sleep with her. (household tested twice in the following 2 weeks) I get tested every 2 weeks and antibody tests every month and I have never have covid that I know off. So just because exposed and in the same house does not necessarily mean they will get it. My daughter caught it by returning something to a neighbour for me and going into their house for 10 minutes maximum! It is sooo strange how it works.
Yes I’ve heard similar stories. A work colleague got it yet her son and DH didn’t. Yes it wasn’t the delta variant but stilll it’s surprising that someone you sleep beside doesn’t get it.
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SleepingStandingUp · 10/07/2021 00:11

If the kids are symptomatic, then I'd want them tested and male a call from there. If they're positive though does that extend their isolation period and is Dad able to have them for the time too? If he's has them it's 10 days from when she collects them so theirs will end sooner - with DSD or Dad do school run?

PoliteNotice · 10/07/2021 00:15

Her DH works from home

It's not just about his work. He still risks himself catching Covid for the sake of a week. He does deserve the courtesy of being involved in the decision I think.

DrDresaid · 10/07/2021 00:18

If I were her in the same situation and they wanted to go home with her then I would totally go and get them

TableFlowerss · 10/07/2021 00:20

@SleepingStandingUp

If the kids are symptomatic, then I'd want them tested and male a call from there. If they're positive though does that extend their isolation period and is Dad able to have them for the time too? If he's has them it's 10 days from when she collects them so theirs will end sooner - with DSD or Dad do school run?
My understanding of it that they have to idolate for 10 days since Monday, so they would be free to go out next Friday.

Kids would have to isolate until at least the same time, but if they developed symptoms they’d have to start their 10 from developing symptoms.

They started with symptoms on Wednesday gone. DSIS isn’t fussed about getting them tested, as they’ve clearly got a cough so it’s highly likely they’ve got it.

OP posts:
TableFlowerss · 10/07/2021 00:21

So she would just isolate with them for 10 days since Wednesday. It would mean dad also gets a rest

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HollaHolla · 10/07/2021 00:34

I think she’s mad to expose anyone else to potential infection. The kids are with their father, and are safe - albeit bored.
What if she or her husband get really sick from it, or god forbid, die. What good will that do them?
Just hang on the additional few days FFS. This is how our numbers are creeping up again.

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 10/07/2021 00:36

collecting them now is too little too late.
I agree with husband, just let them be until their isolation is over.

I admit, I'm possibly biased.
I wouldn't mind a fortnight's break from my kids.

TableFlowerss · 10/07/2021 00:46

@HollaHolla

I think she’s mad to expose anyone else to potential infection. The kids are with their father, and are safe - albeit bored. What if she or her husband get really sick from it, or god forbid, die. What good will that do them? Just hang on the additional few days FFS. This is how our numbers are creeping up again.
I understand what you’re saying as I didn’t give the full details.

She’s 38, a size 10 with no underlying health conditions. Never had a chest infection in her life

OP posts:
TableFlowerss · 10/07/2021 00:46

@ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba

collecting them now is too little too late. I agree with husband, just let them be until their isolation is over.

I admit, I'm possibly biased.
I wouldn't mind a fortnight's break from my kids.

That’s what I said 😂
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