AIBU engagement ring

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I split with my ex in November last year after 15 years together, engaged for 8, he's now demanding the engagement ring back after initially telling me to sell it. I told him despite what he paid, £3k, it won't be worth anywhere near that, in fact the highest valuation I've had was £500 which I told him. He thinks I'm lying and has asked for the ring or £3k and will not let up. I don't think I should have to return the ring or pay him any money but AIBU?

OP have you considered Judge Judy…

She would tell you to cancel the cheque…

(Your actual plan is a good one)

I stood behind a distraught woman in a jeweller's shop once. She was having her engagement ring valued. She had two small children with her. It was the 3rd or 4th shop she'd been in. The ring had cost her STBXH $5000. The valuations were coming in around $650 - $800. Her ex had told her to keep the ring and was trying to deduct the full cost from the children's maintenance.

My heart broke for her and I crept out of the shop before I could humiliate her further by witnessing more of he distress.

The most reasonable response here....I understand that you feel ‘entitled’ to the ring as you’d been together for 15 years. However, you received the ring in expectation of a wedding that did not happen. You have to give it back, sis!

You picked a completely wrong post as the most reasonable.? She doesn't have to give it back "sis"
It's hers, she owns it, and he doesn't. RTFT for the many reasons she can keep it.

I can't wait to read OP's update where she tells the Ex she sold the Ring and gave the kids the money.. 🤣

or it it just me 😳

PMSL at the righteousness of some of the return the rings. Let's hope this rigour about financial rightness extends to fathers making adequate financial provision for their children to be consistent. In England, the legal starting point would be to treat it as a gift without even looking at the 8 year relationship and DC with an ex who doesn't appear to pay for the children.

@NewlyGranny that sounds upsetting, even without the dimension of the ex's unreasonably stance. I know buyer beware is the general position but there's a limit.

Haven't read all thread but as pp said The ring was given in promise of marriage

I would consider this to be HIS promise to marry her, by wearing it she has taken herself "off the market" for other men. So it's HIM who broke the promise by not marrying her sooner and instead blowing £ on weed. She should have the ring in recompense for those 8 years when she was committed to him but he wasn't committing to her.

Obv no legal worth in my opinion though!

@Lancrelady80 I like your thinking.

Tell him you’ve lost it??

YANBU but I’d give it to him just to get rid of him, it’s virtually worthless anyway.

Another one from the 'why do you even want to keep it' camp?

Just give it back. He can get his own valuation and you can move on.

OP you don't actually say whether or not you married the ex?

If you never got married to him, you should return the ring to him. If you did get married, you should keep it.

@thinkfast

OP you don't actually say whether or not you married the ex?

If you never got married to him, you should return the ring to him. If you did get married, you should keep it.

no marriage..

they have kids though 🌸

@thinkfast

OP you don't actually say whether or not you married the ex?

If you never got married to him, you should return the ring to him. If you did get married, you should keep it.

OP has sold the Ring and put the money into the childrens accounts as he had paid zero 🌸

I was going to say return it but then I saw you have kids together! Sell it together and put the money aside for your children.

@Guavaf1sh

I’m with DolphinFC

Me too

“He won't take me to court, he couldn't be arsed, it's too much effort“

….this is the upside of getting into a legal barney with a stoner.

OP has updated several times now....

She has SOLD the Ring and put the money in her children's Bank Accts....

has anyone mentioned Judge Judy's thoughts. I feel that's what this thread is missing.

@GreenFingersWouldBeHandy

Another one from the 'why do you even want to keep it' camp?

Just give it back. He can get his own valuation and you can move on.

Because he doesn't pay child support. Is it really too laborious for you to read the OP's posts?

@Classica

has anyone mentioned Judge Judy's thoughts. I feel that's what this thread is missing.

🤣

I know quite a few people who have broken engagements, but every single one of them gave back the ring.

@bluebeck

I know quite a few people who have broken engagements, but every single one of them gave back the ring.

were they engaged for more than 8 years and had several kids ?