To wait until after our holiday to tell DD parents are separating?

[Applepea1]

Plan was to tell soon and then all go away together at the beginning of the summer holidays. He will then move out shortly after we get back. I thought this would show we are still a family and will do things together. But now I wonder if I should let her enjoy the last of term and holiday. He can delay the moving out for a little while, can be a couple of weeks after we get home. She is 9 and very immature. I'm also just terrified of telling her.

It's a really difficult situation, and impossible to give advice without knowing a lot more. Personally, I'd let the DD know before the holiday, and have a serious discussion about whether you do on the holiday or not.

A few years back, we had a family holiday, and I knew DSis and her DH were splitting, but a lot of stuff had been arranged, rental, travel, three families, logistics, etc.

DSis was awful on the holiday, drinking too much, on the phone a lot to another man (shagging her BIL ffs!!), passive aggressive, more details were revealed during the holiday, it was a nightmare. She should never have gone.

I guess my point is that don't go away unless you have discussed it. It could turn out awfully bad for you all, including DD unless you realize what you are getting in to.

Think most about your DD, and what is best for her. Let her finish school. I'd be very concerned about going on a holiday in such a situation. It depends on you both.

A few years back, as a teenager I was dragged on holidays with DPs. I knew things were not good, but us being compressed in small appt in a very very hot Cyprus brought things to a head. I heard and saw all kinds of bad end of relationship stuff that still resonates with me today (DH was involved with a co-worker, DM never had an orgasm and wanted to find herself, DM had run up a few credit cards). They split up, made up, and split up again over the two weeks. I cried for them, and because the appt had crap wifi!!

Yikes! No teenager wants to know that their DF is shagging a co-worker, or their DM never had an orgasm (wow that must be so weird to never cum!!).

Anyway, some really good practical advice here:

www.pkhl.ie/blog/coping-summer-holidays-when-separated-divorced