Why does everyone around me seem so happy and OK

[RainbowChameleon]

Are you all happy with this? This working for years on end, only having evenings and weekends to yourself, 4 weeks off a year. The daily grind is honestly crushing my soul. I live for Fridays. I know we have to work to earn money to live but by christ it's dull. Do you all feel fulfilled and feel your lives have meaning? I feel like I'm just counting down the hours, days, weeks, years. I think I'm a nihilist. I don't know how to turn these thoughts off.

RainbowChameleon

When I look at other roles advertised none of them seem appealing and I'm worried about jumping from one awful role to another. I appreciate I sound very negative. I'm in a very negative place

Decide first what you want to do as opposed to seeing what is on offer and making your choice from what other people offer.

I think some people just aren’t cut out to do full time jobs.

I love my job and still feel like this! You’re not alone. I kinda think if we were designing a society from scratch, it wouldn’t look like this. I genuinely think I’d like to be Amish at times.

I think many of us feel like that, but reframing your thinking can help. When the daily work grind is getting me down I remind myself this is what pays for the good stuff - the holidays, the weekend treats, or even just meeting a friend for tea at the pub.

I also put any treats in my work calendar on a count-down so randomly a reminder will pop-up, sometimes during the most boring calls or meetings which will cheer me up and put it into perspective. Again not necessarily big treats but stuff I'm looking forward to like meeting a pal for coffee.

Also, and this might sound a bit twee, but I try and do the daily gratitude thing - at bedtime think about three things I'm grateful for that day. Some days its hard, especially when there have been problems at work, but it can be as simple as being grateful for having had decent food to eat, being safe and warm in my own bed, the happy purry cat snuggled up.

But alongside all the positive thinking, I am also planning my strategy for escape, or at least less working hours. For me that means overpaying the mortgage now, building up a small savings pot as a buffer and then -fingers crossed- next year dropping a day from 5 to 4. Pre-covid I was also planning on taking up training for a possible ad-hoc job I could do on my own terms if I took early retirement and will be doing that once courses open up again.

What sort of things do you love doing? Many of my friends are running small businesses in fields that they are passionate about. Is this something you could do?

OP can you tell us a bit more about yourself - your whole life as it is right now, and what you would like to change? I really liked the idea of the diagram idea from @StarryNight468

I love my job but I know many posters would absolutely hate it ( I am a nurse in a huge NHS hospital) It isn't without problems - bullying is rife, the workload is brutal and I see lovely people die. However, I do get so much from being able to make a difference to people in dreadful circumstances.

What would your ideal job be? What do you like doing? Are you happy in other parts of your life?

I get 14 weeks paid leave.
And no commute plus I love my job.

@MrsKeats

I get 14 weeks paid leave. And no commute plus I love my job.

14 weeks! Yep that does sound good

Intriguing too trying to think what it is

How old are you OP?
No dependants. Any heavy financial commitments?

What would stop you waiting till travel restrictions are over (year or 2) and then just up and go elsewhere. Do something that you really fancy. Join an organisation which needs helpers. Travel. Live differently off the track.

If it's awful come back and step gratefully back on the treadmill

I think a lot of people go into kids/marriage/mortgage (in whatever order) feeling it's right, and then go on to feel totally trapped and spend a lot of years trying hard not to let it get them down.

OP, if you have no dependents, you have so many options.

Can you reduce your hours or work compressed hours to free up some time?

Then you could:
Volunteer in an area that interests you or
Study for a qualification that could lead to a new career, or just for interest and mental stimulation or
Take a second, part time job in an area completely different from your current job. Over the course of a year you could try out a variety of things.
Or just enjoy the extra time doing your own thing.

Or increase your hours/take a second job to build up some savings and take some time out from work.

I think for many people I know, it they find their job soul destroying - and I have had soul destroying jobs before, so I know how it is - it's because they can't see how they're contributing anything useful. Either they're sitting around doing nothing for long periods, or they're working for a company where they don't see why their specific job is necessary. Feeling like you're wasting your time for eight hours a day for no reason is just awful. I think you're actually a lot less likely to feel that way with many 'menial' jobs like cleaning or delivery driving where the product and purpose of your work is right there in front of you, if you see what I mean?

Hi OP, i agree with others. If you tell us these 3 things we can help you
1 what do you work as / are trained in / your current job - just say Marketing or Call centre, or Nurse etc

1. What are your favourite hobbies / ways to spend time

1. Do you have major financial commitments right now?

You're only at work a few hours a day, it's probably not backbreaking physical labour, so why not see it as a way of earning money for the things you want to do in the other hours?

888. 8 sleep, 8 work, 8 for you.

Bored people are boring people.

I'm happy and fulfilled because I'm a Christian, which gives my life joy and meaning.

Before that, I found the daily grind fairly oppressive, even when I was in my dream job. I'm now a SAHM to a baby and toddler (and pregnant), so, regardless of my faith, I don't have the same working obligations.

I love my job. Its important but fun. Every day is different and it gives me a immense amount of satisfaction and scope for personal growth. It also reminds me how lucky I am every day.

I'm definitely a glass half full kind of person.

I can’t imagine enjoying working either. I work part time and couldn’t imagine working 5 days, having to get up early and commute and get home after 6pm everyday. I will have to get a full time job eventually but I am dreading this.

I’m much happier being at home doing nothing. Going shopping on my days off and outings. Even with my part time job, I find it a never ending cycle. I think because with school/uni you get a half term every 6 weeks. You get inset days, summer holidays etc. You get a decent break. But with work, you know you have to go back after the weekend and this will be your life forever. At uni, I had about from end of may/June until mid September for summer holidays.

Even if you did enjoy work surely you’d much prefer not going into work. Do people actually get excited on a Sunday evening to go back on the Monday? Surely majority would rather be at home/on holiday/ days trips etc. Work is just something we have to do and some people don’t mind work and perhaps even like it. But I don’t believe that in reality people would be itching to go to work.

I know what you mean OP. All I would say is that please do try and take some time off to see what you can do differently as PP suggested because the way you feel is no way to live for the rest of your working life. Take it from one who learnt that lesson a bit too late.

I think one of the most important things you can give a child is the courage and space to be itself. I really wanted to be one thing but everyone said no, you’re cleverer than that, do X instead. So I did X and I fucking hated it most of my life and felt like OP did because it didn’t accord with my values and it never has.

The best job I ever had was working as a care assistant in an old people’s home. And I’ve since realised that the ability to sluice strangers’ crap from hundreds of bedsheets on Christmas Day and feel nothing but happiness and pride is as much a gift to society as an ability to whiz through calculus problems that most find difficult.

Still, if I’d had to live most of my life on a care worker’s salary perhaps I’d feel differently.

Life’s a bitch, whatever you do.

Rant over.

I really enjoy my job and enjoy working generally. I like the pay but I can live without it. I have had some jobs I haven’t liked but overall I love working

Nothing helpful to add just to say I 100pc feel this..!

13 years in a call centre reading the same script and I wonder how it will all end as situation means leaving this job would be irresponsible right now.

I agree OP. I work part time (3 days) due to having young DC. I might have to increase it eventually but I'm hoping it would be 4 days maximum.
My DH lost his job last year and has since found a part time job that is not well paid.
So we are not very financially well off at the minute but at the same time the quality family time we are getting is amazing. So much so DH is actually looking for another part time role (just better paid) or jobs that offer 4 day weeks.
We live in an area of the country where the house prices aren't as high and we only have one car. I see these two sacrifices as worth it for quality time.

I understand OP. I think most people are happy enough in their jobs but certain personalities feel really trapped by having to do the same thing everyday/go to the same place/just having that restriction on your freedom. The idea of a permanent job terrifies me-- it would feel like cage. But most people I know want that.

It used to seriously kill my soul, to the point where I was very unhappy and took drastic action sodded off to another country for a few months. When I came back I realised what I needed in life and now I move between temporary contracts- contract/free time/contract/free time. It reduces my financial stability but it is the right trade-off for my freedom.

I don’t want to sound all “third world problems”, but having to spend most of your time for most of your life doing something boring and unfulfilling is pretty easy compared to the way most people have lived throughout history and across most of the world. I think that’s why more people around you aren’t miserable- because we’re actually pretty well off. But if you can think of a feasible way to make your life happier and more interesting and more rewarding, of course you should do it.

I think aiming to LOVE your job can be too stressful for some people though, I'd aim for generally contented with your situation. If its unbearably horrible/stressful I'd look to move jobs. Being unemployed and broke is stressful too.

First world problems, obvs.

@MrsKeats

I get 14 weeks paid leave. And no commute plus I love my job.

what do you do? Might need a career change