Why does everyone around me seem so happy and OK

[RainbowChameleon]

Are you all happy with this? This working for years on end, only having evenings and weekends to yourself, 4 weeks off a year. The daily grind is honestly crushing my soul. I live for Fridays. I know we have to work to earn money to live but by christ it's dull. Do you all feel fulfilled and feel your lives have meaning? I feel like I'm just counting down the hours, days, weeks, years. I think I'm a nihilist. I don't know how to turn these thoughts off.

What do you love? Can you retrain so you can do some sort of work in that field? I was in a filing clerk- type role and I retrained as an editor and proofreader. I love it. I never get enough work (I'm self-employed) so it's good we have DH's salary, but I would do it for pleasure if I wasn't paid. DH loves his job, get lots of hassle, hates being in the office/meetings shite but loves dealing with his customers. You might find that a change of job would make you see things differently.

I enjoy working, though fitting family life and conflicting work arrangements into the day can create challenges. It sounds like you really need a new job.

You mentioned other people seeming happy and have indicated a potentially long working life ahead if you.

My advice to you would be to get off social media and stop concerning yourself with other people's happiness or not. Stop caring, the only life you can control is your own and you do not have to be miserable.

One of my oldest friends is a beach bum in Brazil, got a first in Life Sciences at Cambridge is absolutely at the top of the intellectual tree but didn't care too much for the rat race.

Just decide how you want to live and make it happen

The key to happiness is solving problems and taking responsibility.

Find things that gets your brain working in your job OP and you might find it better, or look for a new job, train in something you're passionate about. Go to uni, get an apprenticeship, find your passion.

It might not be academic or skill based, you might find happiness selling your house and living in a van or a canal boat. You might want to move abroad!

I do a weird diagram when I'm unhappy about something. Draw a line in the middle of the page, put where you are on the left and where you want to be on the right. On the bottom of the line write all the barriers to getting there. On the top write all the steps. It might be impossible to get to where you want, but knowing that seems to help and move on.

I love my job. I have great colleagues. I looked forward to going in today.

You're in the wrong job or have unrealistic expectations of work.

Yes it's a daily grind especially when you have childcare to juggle. Then when you get home no rest - cooking tea, washing up, ironing and general chores.
The main things that keep me going is having holidays to look forward to, plus in lockdown I saved quite a bit and was able to buy the car of my dreams.
When I'm driving the car it makes me feel grateful for working

@Comedycook

It shouldn't be a daily grind. You're obviously in the wrong job

Well yes you can advise people on an individual level to do that but on a societal level, if people didn't do the boring, daily grind stuff, the country would grind to a halt

Lot's of people enjoy doing what you think is the boring daily grind job, and would hate to do whatever you think is scintillating.

Not every day is shit and not every day is amazing. Life is like that.

If you don't enjoy working ft, change it. I would say start a business but that can end up being 80+ hours a week😂 So rather, get extra qualifications and knowledge to be able to lanfld well paying one with less hours needed.

And I fully agree with @StarryNight468 first sentence. Absolutely.

Lot's of people enjoy doing what you think is the boring daily grind job, and would hate to do whatever you think is scintillating

Really... people enjoy cleaning hospitals, emptying bins, stacking shelves, driving delivery vans, moving boxes around a warehouse so they? We'd be absolutely screwed without those people...

@Comedycook

Lot's of people enjoy doing what you think is the boring daily grind job, and would hate to do whatever you think is scintillating

Really... people enjoy cleaning hospitals, emptying bins, stacking shelves, driving delivery vans, moving boxes around a warehouse so they? We'd be absolutely screwed without those people...

Actually yes. I have a friend who very much enjoys being a delivery man because he likes to be on a move and speak to different people (he delivers food to restaurants). I enjoyed "stacking shelves" because it's active, you get to chat to people, we had fun team as well. Some people enjoy cleaning and take pride in it. Every job is enjoyable for someone for some aspect or another. I loved waitressing even though I hated it😂

Then change it @RainbowChameleon what is stopping you? What do you actually want? Go part time and live with less money, change career, change your mindset. Ask on here won't change anything. Make yourself happy. It's really NOT impossible.

What do you d for work??

I feel like this - my first job was soul destroyingly boring which I think got me in a bad mindset of really resenting work, especially as I stuck it out for four years. My next and current job is much more engaging, the people are great and the company really looks after us, but the hours are very long and it’s hard to feel the work you’re doing makes a difference, even though I’ve by some amazing luck managed to get into our climate and pro Bono work so on paper it’s ideal. I’m starting maternity leave in four days and am so excited to not work for a year and also to see if I miss it! I doubt it but I may be surprised!

A couple of things… one, if you’re in the U.K. you should have 5.6 weeks off not 4 so make sure you’re getting that.
Two, can you afford to drop your hours to 4 days a week or less? Then it’s like you still have half of the week to yourself.
There, you don’t say what you job is but could you look for something in a sector with a bit more intrinsic satisfaction? I work in the public sector and when something is dragging I remember that it’s all to help people which really does motivate me. I don’t think I would enjoy working for some random company nearly so much because it would be about their profits rather than helping people.

@schrodingersimmigrant

Of course, but if people only did jobs they loved, society would grind to a halt. Obviously individual advice would be to do a job you love.

@Octopuscake

Steady decent income, no dependants

@lilmishap he definitely had a point!
@ClawedButler thank you

@CrazyNeighbour

I don't feel that way in terms of work if things aren't done by me. However I do understand your point about the misery being inside people taking away their capacity to feel joy and I do wonder if that is the case.

@Comedycook

Lot's of people enjoy doing what you think is the boring daily grind job, and would hate to do whatever you think is scintillating

Really... people enjoy cleaning hospitals, emptying bins, stacking shelves, driving delivery vans, moving boxes around a warehouse so they? We'd be absolutely screwed without those people...

I have a job in that category and I like it, and so do my colleagues. It's easy, term time only - it's in a school - and lets me feel like I'm doing something useful for other people. Far less existential angst than when I was spending my working days on biomolecular research and far less stress than teaching! It's not an exciting job, but I get my excitement from things outside of work.

Figure out what actually makes you happy (hill-walking, looking after animals, sewing, whatever), and then work out a way to monetise it. What would you spend your time doing if you didn't HAVE to work?

Or, take yourself off grid, and become self-sufficient. No more working for The Man. A lot more work and worry though.

@Watchingyou2sleezes how do they afford to live?

You sound very negative, most jobs are worth while, or useful to society in some way, and although this perhaps doesn't make them easy or pleasant to do, it does give purpose to your life. I can't imagine 'living' just for weekends or holidays, and the rest of the time being shit. What a waste of a life. Perhaps you need to adjust your attitude to a more positive one , this is not easy, but is very simple. Everyone derides positive thinking, counting your blessings etc .but if your mind is always looking on the negative aspects, you end up feeling so awful, that life doesn't seem worth living. If you have tried to be more positive and still feel so bad, you should perhaps see your GP and see if you need some help for depression. You shouldn't accept feeling like this as it is not normal to be continually so low.

Would you do it if you were a millionaire @psychomath ?

Not being snooty by the way because i've never had a job I've really loved...

A lot of it will depend on what you do for work

Can you change it in any way op?

I know changing direction is hard, sometimes very hard

So you have no dependants OP. Then take a really hard look at your outgoings and see if it's possible to reduce them. You'll feel more in control of your future choices.

When I look at other roles advertised none of them seem appealing and I'm worried about jumping from one awful role to another. I appreciate I sound very negative. I'm in a very negative place.