Why does everyone around me seem so happy and OK

[RainbowChameleon]

Are you all happy with this? This working for years on end, only having evenings and weekends to yourself, 4 weeks off a year. The daily grind is honestly crushing my soul. I live for Fridays. I know we have to work to earn money to live but by christ it's dull. Do you all feel fulfilled and feel your lives have meaning? I feel like I'm just counting down the hours, days, weeks, years. I think I'm a nihilist. I don't know how to turn these thoughts off.

@wormholes Why? I work for a company that protects hospitals from fraud. What we do helps people on every level and I spend my days communicating that. I'm not sure why you would see that as shit!

@Wormholes

I have never enjoyed any job. I can't imagine enjoying working.

Yep. Enjoying work is an oxymoron. May as well ask a canary if it enjoys its cage.

Yep. Because the alternatives work so well.

@thedevilinablackdress

then you need to accept what it is and find joy in the evenings weekends and holidays.

For the next 60 odd years until you drop dead? Sounds great.

Because the alternative is being dead, and then there won't even be moments happiness.

Much of the functionality of life is a drudge, feeding, body functions and keeping clean. That's a fact.

But you need to try and do things that make you happy whatever they are, as much as you can.

@RainbowChameleon

I have never enjoyed any job. I can't imagine enjoying working.

What are you passionate about? What do you look forward to/get excited about?

Not many generations ago there would have been no leisure time at all, every moment was focused on staying alive.

Op, don't you see your job as a way to have good times with your family? To be able to give your dcs treats?

@Dishwashersaurous

Not many generations ago there would have been no leisure time at all, every moment was focused on staying alive.

If you were working class, yes. That is how the Labour Party came to be formed: to fight for the rights of the industrial proletariat.

Middle and upper class people had ample leisure time.

RainbowChameleon

If you hate your life then change your life.

Maybe look at starting your own business that creates passive income that way you don’t even have to work for the money to keep coming in.

I think people do get to this stage and that is why lots of people emigrate to Spain or buy a Chateau in France.

I think you need a week off to clear your mind and think about what you are good at and what you enjoy and then see if there is a business/job you really could see yourself liking.
If you keep doing the same thing you will keep getting the same results

You're not recognising what your job gives you. Are you on a very low income, with lots of dependents, OP? As that might change the advice. If it's just you - surely it's a matter of trading off the level of creature comforts you need against the time spent to get them? You could be a penniless musician with lots of creative time but would you be happier? The balance has to be right for you. If you decide you want e.g. a TV or a nice dinner or a new jumper, then you are working for those things? If you don't need them, work less...

I’m 56, 4 years until I can retire from the civil service, then I’ll do something else for a few years.
I’ve worked since I was 21, apart from a 2 year career break when I went travelling and did an MA and one year adoption leave.

I’ve had some truly awful jobs, some OK jobs, some fantastic jobs I’ve really enjoyed. My current job is OK, people are nice ( although I’ve never actually met anyone in person) workload has been high as its COVID related, we have a great team spirit.
When I adopted my son I went part time to 3 days a week, now back up to 4 but won’t go back full time.
Its a good work life balance for me.
Life is what you make of it. I work to pay for the rest of my life. I’ve ‘settled’ at a grade which gives me enough money to live how I want without over stressing myself chasing promotions. I have a modest house, I don’t hanker after big houses with ‘essential’ en suites, utility roooms etc etc etc.
I always have plans for weekends, holidays, music and theatre. I have an allotment.
That’s my life, work pays for it and I’m grateful to have a secure well paid job, with great terms and conditions and a reasonable pension, even if its not my dream job

I've definitely felt like this from time to time. I'm now in a job that I do truly enjoy - I get a lot of satisfaction from it, and I find it fascinating. "Enjoying working" is not an oxymoron at all. However, it took me a long time to get here, with many years of feeling just like the OP

For the next 60 odd years until you drop dead? Sounds great

No indeed, and there are lots of ways to make it better or to feel better about it, but in not sure that's what you want from this thread.

Meh, don't feel like this as such, but I have perks in my role.

I live a mile from work so no real commute, enjoy the company of my colleagues, have 6 weeks annual leave a year plus bank holidays.

The day to day grind I find worse is the getting home, deciding and cooking tea, getting the kids to bed, cleaning, shower, bed - rinse and repeat, But they're 1 and 5 and I know this will change soon enough.

I think you need to not focus on whether or not the job is making you happy (obviously if absolutely shit, leave, but do t expect utopia) and, cliche as it sounds, try to find happiness daily in the small things. I always rolled my eyes beat this but as I get older I realise it is so true that happiness is a state of mind. There will always be grind. You cant wait for there to be no grind in order to be happy, but find the happy amid the grind. If that makes sense?

Now and again I have sort of liked working - but never enough that I wouldn't have given it up in a heartbeat if I won Lotto! My life begins the minute I walk out of work. I'm not unhappy and enjoy life, but working is the least enjoyable part of it.

Did you see the study on 4 day working weeks without effecting pay and how productivity improved, mental health improved, there were less emissions ect. They said it was an overwhelming success.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-57724779.amp

I do think we should endorse this everywhere.

@emilyfrost

Well being miserable about everything and wallowing isn’t going to make it better is it?

You make your own happiness in this world.

This.

I'm basically a happy person. I enjoy my life. I find my work interesting and stimulating, and when I'm in a bad job I change it. I make my own meaning in it. I enjoy my family. I enjoy my creative hobbies and my leisure pursuits. I find the world endlessly interesting and varied. I don't recognise the OP at all.

I think happiness and contentment are as much a mindset and a mental habit as circumstance.

Op what would you rather be doing?

Most of life seems to be work or chores, but as you mentioned, there are weekends and evenings.
Can you cut down your working hours?

I generally like my job and I really like my colleagues, but I go through periods of being quite miserable. Usually this is related to clients and since covid, it's been much worse. I get that everyone is stressed, but it doesn't seem particularly fair that it's taken out on me. When you have multiple clients at once it gets a bit much. Apparently lawyers don't have feelings so it's okay to treat them poorly 🙃

We can't all have a job we enjoy that's not how the world works, the crappy stuff needs to be done and we're not all able to leave rubbish jobs/workplaces due to having neither the time or money.

You're not alone OP ex FIL used to refer to being forced into having a worklife as 'The conveyor belt' - once you step onto it you're stuck being carried through your life until it chucks you off into a care home, coffin or hospital.

He was a joy to be around but he had a point.

@mintjulia

No I see it as something I'm forced to do 5 days a week.

@mymabel

Yep I did. Was really interesting. I agree many would feel happier.

@Wormholes

I have never enjoyed any job. I can't imagine enjoying working.

Yep. Enjoying work is an oxymoron. May as well ask a canary if it enjoys its cage.

That’s nonsense to those of us who find our work meaningful and would continue to do it whether or not we needed a salary. I agree it’s key to a lot of my happiness.