AIBU- Dog vs neighbours allergic child !

[Henryhoover12]

Please can someone tell us if we’re being unreasonable or our neighbours are. We moved to a new house and really got on with our neighbours they are very lovely and we spend lots of time speaking to them. We mentioned that we were purchasing a dog In which they had mortified looks on their faces and explained their DC is extremely allergic to dogs (e.g can’t be in class with anyone who owns a dog etc has been in hospital) we kind of brushed it off and said we can speak about it closer to the time.

After that everytime we bumped into them they kept asking if we “changed our minds” which we found so awkward but in the end we told them not getting a dog wasn’t an option is we have always wanted one but are happy to work things out so it’s safe for their child. They took this badly and didn’t speak to us for a while. Closer to us picking up the dog we went around and asked what they would like us to do to ensure safety for their child.

One of the (long list of) rules was that we didn’t let the dog out while their child was in the garden. This seemed fine at the time until we realised their child is ALWAYS in the garden. And I mean always they have a little treehouse type thing that they play in so come rain and sunshine they are out there. At first we tried to play ball like if our dog wanted to wee we would walk him to the park 10 minutes but now it’s just getting ridiculous so we have started letting him go to wee when it’s raining outside because we really can’t be asked to walk 20 minutes just for that. The last time we did the mum came our and shouted at me saying I’m going to kill her child. AIBU to think that our dog has every much right to use our garden as the child? Our poor dog loves to be outside but is trapped inside because of this and I’m starting to think it’s really unfair

Lord what a problem. They need to move, clearly.

Nope your house your dog. If the family don’t like it they can move to a house in the middle of no where with nothing around and put the kid in a bubble. I have a similar allergy To cats but I wouldn’t be bat shit enough to tell my neighbours they can’t get them. They need to work with the allergy team and get the kid on medication. That child will go to school, high school, college etc they can not ban anyone from having a dog in those places. Absolutely crazy. If I was you I would move if you can as it doesn’t sound like it it’ll get better but it’s not your fault.

If they have family in other houses on the street maybe they could swap houses with them ?

@DuchessDarty troll hunting is not allowed. If you don’t believe the thread, report it then ignore it.

@AbsStar

"AIBU to think that our dog has every much right to use our garden as the child?"

Of COURSE a damn dog doesn't have the same rights as a human child. Rehome it. Or move. Have some consideration. Dog nuttery is a mental disease. Really can't believe you went ahead.

Jesus Christ, they are some absolute lunatics on this thread tonight 🙄

[quote Charmtaste]@DuchessDarty troll hunting is not allowed. If you don’t believe the thread, report it then ignore it.[/quote]
I’m far from the first on this thread to wonder about it being pulled. The fact it’s still here shows it must be legit

And I am genuinely more shocked that no one has remarked about the OP buying a dog. That always used to be a MN staple!

So many of our friends and family are in disbelief at the extent we have gone to actually. But the arrangement is now not working for us and we need some slack!

They're not going to cut you any slack though OP.
You could get 1000 people on here telling you you're right but the neighbours won't change their minds and they're the ones you have to live beside.

I think going forward I’m probably going to wait a couple of days and see if the mum tries to approach us

How can she approach you if you have a dog? Is there not a risk to her child then if she's in contact with you?

A few people mentioned that she should have said the neighbour should have said it to the estate agent? Would the estate agent be obligated to say that to potential buyers?

You say you came here for advice but really you haven't but have come for reaffirmation that you are right. Sorry but I'm not going to do that.

The poor child sounds like tbe allergies are already restricting their life to such a degree that school home and garden are their only safe spaces. If I'm right just stop and think about that and how safe the child and parents must feel in those spaces. Can you imagine the relief at being home? How bored the child must get?

Now imagine neighbours move in how happy you must feel to see they don't have a dog?

Now imagine hearing the news that they are getting one? The discussions they must have had? The fear back again of how this will affect their child.

Then they have a chat and realise the people are lovely and reasonable and agree to help and keep the dog from the garden. The relief of that.

Then you find the dog in the garden. She is shouting because she is frightened for the life of her child and has realised she is faced with unpredictable and unreliable people who say one thing then do another.

Would you trust you? And believe you are as you say nice people?

I would shout to, and I'm not a person who ever does.

@Henryhoover12

This all sounds a bit odd to me. I think you need support from the council - and perhaps social services (people over react when they here this but they are there to support).

It doesn’t sound right to me that their child rarely leaves the house, and that they have to control to such an extent that they tell their neighbours what they can/can’t do.

If their child has an extreme allergic reaction, they surely have an epi-pen??

You could have chosen to not interact with your neighbours/have no idea and got a dog - or moved in with one.

Citizens Advice - or the council.

@DuchessDarty

Eh? A few people have said Op was wrong to get the dog.

It's just the vast majority don't think she was wrong.

Her neighbours are veering into bullying her now with a list of demands, an uncomfortable atmosphere and screaming at her. They sound batshit.

What breed of dog did you get?

I have concerns for this kid. She is being raised by a hyper-controlling bully who seems to think that she is the queen of the street. She is outside all of the time. Why? Why can’t she go inside? She must be very lonely. Why are all the family in one street? Are they members of a cult? This is really weird.
Meanwhile, definitely call the mother out on her behaviour and stop pandering to the Crazy Woman!!!

The breed of dog is irrelevant and I hope the OP doesn't tell us. Whatever the breed the OP and her husband have every right to have a dog and for it to have unlimited use of the garden.

@Justilou1 ditto. I would be very concerned for the child. It might be worth mentioning to the school too - along with the list of demands. I think it’s also odd that the school have been told how to arrange their classes.

This is so bizarre.
Regardless of the circumstances a dog needs to go outside in the day it's cruel to keep them indoors.
Either you move or just let the dog out in the garden.

I'm curious, are the 29 other families in her class now banned from getting a dog until their child leaves the school? Or will they have to move class? How would that even work?
If she is that badly allergic then I do sympathise with the parents but other than basic courtesy, they can't expect the world to revolve around them.

@Tiddleztheelephant

I'm curious, are the 29 other families in her class now banned from getting a dog until their child leaves the school? Or will they have to move class? How would that even work? If she is that badly allergic then I do sympathise with the parents but other than basic courtesy, they can't expect the world to revolve around them.

I would have also thought that anyone who looks after these children, especially if dropping the kids at school, can't have dogs either.

It makes no sense.

@UndercoverToad - I’m not sure I believe the school story. I have a kid with anaphylaxis to many foods and is as allergic to horses as the Neighbour’s child is reportedly to dogs, and I know that I would never ask/expect this responsibility of a school. Washed hands, food awareness and epipen at the ready is the best you can hope for. I am certain that this is a batshit parent problem.

Ignore them. If the child was that bad how does he ever go anywhere?

Are we talking sneezing or full on anaphylactic shock ?

@Tiddleztheelephant

I'm curious, are the 29 other families in her class now banned from getting a dog until their child leaves the school? Or will they have to move class? How would that even work? If she is that badly allergic then I do sympathise with the parents but other than basic courtesy, they can't expect the world to revolve around them.

Kid certainly won’t be able to attend secondary school under those rules due to kids from different forms mixing for different subjects, etc.

@NiceTwin

What breed of dog did you get?

Why?

@Henryhoover12

Surprised by the husbands reaction as he was always the one who would ask us if we had changed our minds when it came to buying a dog and he was more the vocal of the two

No I haven’t watched the dog documentary but I might contact them for a spin off😂

Maybe the mother has severe paranoia and overreacts to everything and the husband backs her up for a peaceful life. If she's so dramatic to people outside the home, imagine what her poor husband must go through on a daily basis.

You only have to read mumsnet to see how many neurotic mothers are around.

For people who are saying about family living all around the area I've heard of it a lot- it just takes a farmer dividing up land and selling/gifting it to relatives as sites for houses. Our area is predominately two families. We found out after we moved in. Nice if you can get it!

I'd agree it is insane that with that level of allergy the child isn't homeschooled!!

She is also their only child so I wonder if that affects it. They very very rarely go out hence why the kid is always in the garden because she’s bored out of her mind. They have splashed out on a massive garden play area for the child (again hence why she is always there)
This is the only part where I don't agree with you OP. You have no idea how happy or bored the child is, especially given the amount of kids zombified in front of games consoles and/or bored out of their trees either with or without siblings and I always hate people using words like splashing cash, their playg area no doubt costs the same as it takes for you to look after a dog. They've just used their money in a different way!
But yanbu and it's not fair to your dog and personally I think you've been too good, especially given the fencing etc you have in place. Horrible for them but they need to figure it out. Poor child and them too btw

Once I got over the embarrassment of being called to the head suffice before she had even officially started

I would suggest to yourneighbour that if the boy is really that bad,that they should seek immunitherapy like the boy i linked to in the documentary