AIBU- Dog vs neighbours allergic child !

[Henryhoover12]

Please can someone tell us if we’re being unreasonable or our neighbours are. We moved to a new house and really got on with our neighbours they are very lovely and we spend lots of time speaking to them. We mentioned that we were purchasing a dog In which they had mortified looks on their faces and explained their DC is extremely allergic to dogs (e.g can’t be in class with anyone who owns a dog etc has been in hospital) we kind of brushed it off and said we can speak about it closer to the time.

After that everytime we bumped into them they kept asking if we “changed our minds” which we found so awkward but in the end we told them not getting a dog wasn’t an option is we have always wanted one but are happy to work things out so it’s safe for their child. They took this badly and didn’t speak to us for a while. Closer to us picking up the dog we went around and asked what they would like us to do to ensure safety for their child.

One of the (long list of) rules was that we didn’t let the dog out while their child was in the garden. This seemed fine at the time until we realised their child is ALWAYS in the garden. And I mean always they have a little treehouse type thing that they play in so come rain and sunshine they are out there. At first we tried to play ball like if our dog wanted to wee we would walk him to the park 10 minutes but now it’s just getting ridiculous so we have started letting him go to wee when it’s raining outside because we really can’t be asked to walk 20 minutes just for that. The last time we did the mum came our and shouted at me saying I’m going to kill her child. AIBU to think that our dog has every much right to use our garden as the child? Our poor dog loves to be outside but is trapped inside because of this and I’m starting to think it’s really unfair

@LST because some breeds shed more dander and hair than others?

You have the right to a private and family life OP.
That includes having a dog.

@Mrstreehouse
Still irrelevant.
It is up to the parents to keep the child safe. And up to the dog owners to get on with living their life as they wish on their own property.

Human rights act. Right to a private and family life.

@LST because the whole thread is about a dog and is integral to the story. I love dogs, am curious of the breed, is it long haired, short haired, no hair?
I did stop short at asking for a picture

The most obvious thing would have been for one of their family to buy your house when it was up for sale. The only way they can guarantee no dogs either side is for their family to own those houses.

In current situation I suggest they swap houses with one of their family.

What the fuck have I just read?

To the posters actually laying into the OP for getting a dog, to those telling her she’s selfish and telling her to rehome the dog, have a word with yourselves, FFS.

Your neighbours are INSANE.

@SueblueNZ possibly but just one reason why she might be enquiring, another is that she loves dogs and is just interested?

The family should have spoken to you about the seriousness of their child’s condition right after you moved in. Perhaps if they’d spelt it out for you BEFORE you were set on owning a dog you would have accepted it better. In fact, if pet hairs are life threatening, they should have asked the previous owner/estate agent as a favor to stipulate now dogs as a condition of sale. It does feel like you’ve been getting taken for granted a bit. But given the current situation, I would seriously consider rehoming the dog. And if things are so awkward with their whole family on the street I’d consider moving home and moving on.

@bruffin

I would suggest to yourneighbour that if the boy is really that bad,that they should seek immunitherapy like the boy i linked to in the documentary

Forgot to add, the consultant who cured the boy is Adam Fox, If this is true, then pass his name on to them and maybe contact Mr Fox yourself and find out if their requests are reasonable, i doubt it.

Wow control much. If said dog stays in your garden and never goes anywhere near said dog it is outside. Does said child never go for a walk or to the beach where dogs have been?

I bet there are lots and lots of children at the school the child attends that have dogs. They are very popular pets.

The (thankfully few) crazies who think the OP is in the wrong in getting a dog can I ask a couple of questions.

Firstly what if they had already had a dog when they moved in? They might even have had 2 or more dogs.

What if the OP decides she has had enough and moves and the new buyer has a dog or dogs?

Surely if the allergy were really that bad (I don't for 1 second think it is) the parents and family would have ensured that any new owner would know about it? Relatives live in all the other houses and yet the one actually adjoining them with the fence and hedge that allows the allergy causing particles through, under of over is sold to non relatives! Really?

Also if the allergy is really that bad surely the girl would need to be in one of those large bubble things in the garden or a suit? There have been a couple of documentaries where a child is so allergic to something that is what has to be done.

What is stopping dog hair from a dog further away blowing into the garden if it is very windy and we have had some extremely windy weather.

OP, you are doing nothing wrong. Live your life and enjoy your dog.

@Cam77

The family should have spoken to you about the seriousness of their child’s condition right after you moved in. Perhaps if they’d spelt it out for you BEFORE you were set on owning a dog you would have accepted it better. In fact, if pet hairs are life threatening, they should have asked the previous owner/estate agent as a favor to stipulate now dogs as a condition of sale. It does feel like you’ve been getting taken for granted a bit. But given the current situation, I would seriously consider rehoming the dog. And if things are so awkward with their whole family on the street I’d consider moving home and moving on.

Well you may well consider rehoming the dog but I certainly wouldn't and nor should the OP. It's not that easy to just give up a dog you love.

So the OP moves. How does crazy neighbour ensure the next buyer doesn't have a dog or gets one in the future? The OP has been obeying the rules set by the neighbour but a new owner may well tell her to get lost

I think the neighbours need to find a nice detached house with a few acres around it personally.

One of the measures to stop pollution from busy roads near schools is to plant thick hedges

If @Henryhoover12 already has hedges on all sides of her garden, they will contain allergen

I sympathise with the mother, but there are plenty of other things that THEY can do to help their dd that doesn’t involve controlling their neighbours lives to thi extent and shrieking at them.

@tillytoodles1

If the child goes to school, then surely they must come into contact with other kids who have dogs?

Even if they managed to create a class with no dog owners, they would not be able to create a whole school with no dog owners. Other children in other classes who have dogs presumably mix with the child during play times and lunch. Other staff who have dogs presumably mix with the child's teacher etc

@Terminallysleepdeprived You and your DD sound like strong women to me! My DS is one of those quiet, pleasant kids that’s almost invisible at school. He has had to insist repeatedly at school that yes, you CAN have anaphylaxis to kiwi, (and other things, but this is the one people simply don’t believe…) and no, he’s not willing to prove it. 🤨. When we lived overseas, lunches are supervised by people who do not have proper education about such things, nor do they have security checks. He was being bullied by his supervisor who was deliberately bringing food allergens from his own house and trying to force my DS to eat them. (He was 7yrs old at the time.) School was so useless that I ended up getting his twin DS to video this and calling the police. He’s nearly 15 now, so his survival instincts have worked well so far. He’s devastated about his horse allergy, as he loves animals, and they love him. He had no ambition to be a rodeo star, but he was planning on studying to be a vet for a while. He’s shelved that because of the horse thing.

@lynsey91
Of course, I think if there’s a “wrong” side here, it’s the neighbors. If nothing else, they should have approached OP as soon as she moved in and explained everything clearly about how much of a threat pets are to their child. Them “being nice and friendly” and mentioning an allergy in passing was far below what was needed and was irresponsible to all concerned in the circumstances. However, current reality being what it is, the situation sounds pretty bad for the OP as it’s hard to see how it can be resolved without serious bad blood one side or another, especially seeing the neighbors have a whole clan of extended family on the street.

Sorry OP, would sell and move on. Cut your losses now, this will not get better. They sound awful awful people (not nice and lovely as you said). Also being the only strangers/outsiders in the midst of a whole family occupying a cul de sac sounds dreadful.

@Sd352

Sorry OP, would sell and move on. Cut your losses now, this will not get better. They sound awful awful people (not nice and lovely as you said). Also being the only strangers/outsiders in the midst of a whole family occupying a cul de sac sounds dreadful.

Cut your losses? Are you actually serious? Have you ever bought/sold a house?

Yes, within the last year. However, if I found myself in the OP’s situation, I would strongly consider moving on.

@Justilou1 I'm the same here, my allergies are horses and kiwis, literally a drip of kiwi and my throat starts closing, each time it gets worse, I was told by a nurse that the kiwi allergy is also linked to latex which my sister has so tell your son to be wary of latex aswell ie some plasters.

id be letting the dog out in the garden and she would just have to suck it up im afraid , this is letting her dictate to you what you do in your own property , if shes that bloody worried she can always get 6 foot fences put up between you ,or if the fences are on your side then she could ask you and offer to pay out of her pocket , shouting your going to kill her child is just guilt tripping which id ignore , shes got a big wake up call going on if she thinks that every school her child goes to is going to guarentee shes in a non dog owning class , as others have said if its that bad they really should have looked at buying a detached house

Justilou1 I'm sorry your son went through that. Schools are horrendous about allergies (although I'd heard of the kiwi thing, mad people are incredulous about it!). My son's class has three children allergic to food types and as a result the children are told not to bring said foods in, the only thing is, when it comes to days where we're allowed send them in with treats we literally all have no idea what they're allowed. One of the mums told us it's okay, she has her son not accept food from anyone, or eat anything he gets in school and he knows himself but we are all terrified. The school won't give a list in case they're liable but tell people to check themselves. Given most things have a note saying they're prepared in a factory with x, y and z we all end up with haribo or plain biscuits.