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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wheelchair woes and baby buggies

332 replies

MobilityCat · 08/07/2021 02:30

As a wheelchair user I have had problems with buggy owners refusing to fold buggy and hold the baby. I've been left sitting in the rain because the person won't fold the buggy because "my babies asleep".
I 've seen buggies loaded with groceries and person holding the baby asleep in their arm. Occasionally someone will debus with the buggy to make the space available but it's rare. I know people are normally good and decent so what changes them on the bus?

OP posts:
Bksjshsbbev2737 · 08/07/2021 06:45

The problem is that you can rarely hold a child and fold down a buggy so what do you do with the child while you’re doing that? And putting it all back together is the same again.
BUT I don’t have an issue with getting off a bus with my buggy for a wheelchair user; most of the buses I use have a couple of buggy places and then when they’re gone you use the wheelchair space in the knowledge that you have to move if needed. I would say the drivers need to take responsibility for making sure people know that and do that.

Twizbe · 08/07/2021 06:53

I rarely use the bus with my buggy (as it's a pain) but if I do and a wheelchair user needed the space, id get off the bus no problem.

It's very clear that wheelchair users have priority. Plus, in most cases my bus journey is rather short and I can walk some or part of the way.

GlumyGloomer · 08/07/2021 06:54

Wheelchair users do have priority, and it should be up to the drivers to enforce that, although they obviously don't want the abuse. I think a lot of the time with a baby you end up in a sort of desperation state, trying to get home before baby needs a feed/nappy/has a melt down. Yes, it makes us selfish. My mum is in a wheelchair, so I always got off if needed, but my heart did sink every time.
I never tried to fold the buggy (and many don't fold as in the frame might but the seat must be removed first) with a baby. I did with an umbrella fold buggy and a toddler who could sit down independantly while I faffed about. Also, having experienced an emergency stop on a bus a small baby being held could be quite badly injured.
Ultimately though having small kids is generally a colossal inconvenience,but a self inflicted one. YANBU.

Parker231 · 08/07/2021 06:59

It’s very straightforward. If a wheelchair user needs the space, the buggy is either folded down to make the space or the buggy gets off the bus.

Dresssos · 08/07/2021 06:59

A person chooses to have children. Having two children close together is a choice. Buying a buggy that is difficult to fold is also a choice. Someone with disabilities doesn't have a choice whether to use a wheelchair or not. I don't see how anyone is voting YABU.

blissfulllife · 08/07/2021 07:02

I've been on both sides of this. First as a mom who regularly used the bus with a pushchair and then as mom to a disabled child in a wheelchair. I can honestly say I've never heard anyone refuse to move for a wheelchair and new buses and rules where I live mean only two buggies allowed on the bus so there's always room for a wheelchair. This should always be the case and I'm angry that this isn't the rule on all buses.

But it's trains that are my biggest headache. I used to use a large disability buggy for my daughter till she was 8. And nearly always there would be a bike or luggage in the disabled area. And no conductor around to help.

Katefoster · 08/07/2021 07:04

When I lived in London I took a lot of busses and every time a person in a wheelchair came on the bus driver made the pram owner fold up or get off. Every time. I'm shocked that this isn't the norm!

Samcro · 08/07/2021 07:04

@Marty13

I'm of two minds on this one.

First off, if you're holding a baby how are you supposed to fold the buggy ? You don't have four arms...

Second, I have a double buggy because my children are very close together. It can fold but it's massive, so wouldn't be easily put away. And it's a massive hassle. I didn't choose this one for kicks and giggles, it was the only double model I found that fitted essential requirements.

Finally, shouldn't there be a space on buses for buggies ? Especially as there are more people with babies than people in wheelchairs. It would be great if both needs could be accomodated at the same time.

campaign for it. Thats what wheelchair users did.
Silvercatowner · 08/07/2021 07:09

If you are on a bus with a baby in a buggy in the wheelchair space and someone in a wheelchair needed to use it, on what planet would you not accommodate the wheelchair over the buggy??

I despair...

ShortBacknSides · 08/07/2021 07:10

I'm of two minds on this one.

And you think a wheelchair user can have “two minds” on this, @Marty13 ?

Selfish and ignorant response

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 08/07/2021 07:15

When mine was little we lived somewhere with three buses a DAY.

Everyone worked together to get everyone on because no one wanted to be left behind. This was just a few years ago. I doubt its changed.

hellywelly3 · 08/07/2021 07:40

I used to think it was a bonus if I didn’t have to fold the buggy up not a right. Once my child could stand I’d fold the buggy up whilst waiting for the bus. I would insist on getting off if there was no other room for a wheelchair user. I’m sorry you’ve not encountered this

Peoniesandpeaches · 08/07/2021 07:42

@romdowa

I'm physically disabled and there's no way I could fold down a buggy, hold a baby and shopping all at the one time and then set it all back up again by my self. So where do you go in that situation?
Sadly (and I’m genuinely not trying to be goady) the answer will likely be that you are going off the bus. Those spaces are legally designated for wheelchair users not just for the use of someone disabled. Generally though other passengers are helpful in these instances. I’ve even had a bus driver get off the bus and help me set my buggy back up when I was struggling with my nephews stupidly fiddle one.
WeeWelshWoman · 08/07/2021 07:47

Same @romdowa - I don't think it's always clear cut. I think there needs to be spaces for buggies and wheelchairs myself.

Parker231 · 08/07/2021 07:48

It is very clear cut - wheelchair user have priority. If there is space the buggy can stay on the bus, if not they get off.

DGRossetti · 08/07/2021 07:52

A person chooses to have children.

Remember: there are enough people who seem to think disability is a lifestyle choice to spoil your day.

sashh · 08/07/2021 07:52

Finally, shouldn't there be a space on buses for buggies ? Especially as there are more people with babies than people in wheelchairs. It would be great if both needs could be accomodated at the same time.

Did you fight for a space? Did you ever lie on the floor chained to a bus you could not get on to?

I'm old enough to remember when there were no wheelchair spaces, parents folded buggies at the bus stop.

How much do you pay for taking your buggy on the bus? Government pays local bus companies to carry disabled people (that's why we get a bus pass).

The bottom line is that having a baby is not a disability.

maddening · 08/07/2021 07:53

I think all seats on the bus should.flip up so to make the space more multi purpose, it would allow the room to accommodate buggies in normal seating areas.

Doveyouknow · 08/07/2021 07:55

I got the bus regularly and for this reason choose a buggy that I could fold one handed. That way if there was a wheelchair user I could fold the buggy down (or if that wasn't convenient get off the bus). The rules are clear, wheelchair users have priority. It might be a pain but I am sure having to use a wheelchair is more of a pain.

shouldistop · 08/07/2021 07:58

I wouldn't be able to fold up my pram while holding my baby. I would get off the bus though to make way for a wheelchair user.
I used a wheelchair for a few months after an injury and I think people have no idea of just how hard life is when you can't walk.

motogogo · 08/07/2021 07:59

I actually blame the bus companies. They need signage that clearly states that the wheelchair area must be vacated if required, no ifs or buts, and more detailed information on their websites, then enforce it. Where a child has a disability/parent has a hidden disability their should be a process to get an exception for that family so they essentially count as a wheelchair - this was the process in the USA when mh were babies, I had a letter and a sticker on my pram due to disability

Akire · 08/07/2021 08:05

This is why I don’t get the bus anymore it’s alway has a buggy on it. I live in London in busy area so not like you can ever wait for a quiet bus. Years ago bus didn’t have the space I had take a double buggy on the bus where you loaded kids on and dragged it up the steps and then over and into the luggage rack.

They should make it folding chairs only but they wouldn’t and anything Disabled people have fought for other will take it for themselves.

Years ago people would help mums with prams. You can unload shopping near the priority seat, then sit with baby on lap and click fold the pushchair. Granted that was when you could do it with one foot and didn’t need two hands to click and realise various points on the pram tank.

motogogo · 08/07/2021 08:05

To those who say they cannot fold their prams, 22 years ago I had a one hand fold pram, pretty sure they still exist, I managed many many times with my 2 and the double buggy until I got the disability certification when dd was 3 (minimum age they would give it). For my 2 it was side by side and reclined

Demelza82 · 08/07/2021 08:07

I thought that bus drivers had to enforce wheelchair priority b

Akire · 08/07/2021 08:10

They can ask but they have no power to enforce and lots drivers don’t like the agro. Plus other passengers usually want the bus to get going and if someone refuses to get off not much the driver can do unless they turn engine off and make everyone get off.