To think its immoral to charge children rent?

[CatsArePeople]

Unless you're saving/investing it for them.

Bring on the biscuits

Do you invest your DC's children's allowance OP?
Paying my way at home while working gave me a sense of responsibility it barely covered the basis, the immersion heater bill alone with 4 teenagers was astronomical.

I must be the most immoral parent ever then as I used to charge my daughter 'rent' right from when she started getting pocket money at around 10.

In my defence, she is autistic and awful with money and I wanted to drill into her that she must pay her bills before blowing the rest on haribo. So if I wanted her to have £10 pocket money I'd tell her she'd get £12 and then charge her £2 rent. And it worked. She's now an adult and living independently. She still blows all her money on pay day but she always pays her rent first.

@MsHedgehog

I find the concept of charging adult children rent weird. My parents never charged me rent until I moved out late 20s. Did I struggle with suddenly being responsible for bills and rent? Of course not! It’s just an excuse that people come up with to save costs on children.

I was the same. My parents never charged me.

But I did move our at 19 as I had been in full time work for a year.

The problem is that we were lucky that our parents could afford to keep extra adults.

No one, charging rent is saving 'costs on children' as they are charging adults.

I won't charge mine rent. Because either a lucky enough that I have more than enough money. My 17 year is currently job hunting. But I won't be taking money off her. And won't when she is 18.

But, that's not something everyone can afford.

Yes. My 22 month old and 6 week old need to start paying up or they’re out. Sick of them freeloading.

8 yo yes
18 yo no, though I personally wouldn’t until they’re earning their own income. I think an amount towards food/internet/utilities is appropriate if not actual “rent”.
I would try to save most of it and then give it back towards a house deposit (or be sure that they are doing this themselves). But many parents will need the money and if the adult child is earning I see nothing immoral about it at all.

@CatsArePeople

Why should they live rent free? Where is the incentive for them to move out and start living like actual adults?

So... you would rather have your young adult kids pay someone else's mortgage than save?

So you would rather they pay yours?

I would counter with it is immoral to have not taught your adult children to want to pay their own way as soon as they are able.

I paid my parents as soon as I started working and I'll ask ds to do the same.

I wouldn’t charge an adult child enough to pay my mortgage, I’d probably ask for a contribution to help cover what they consume, food, utilities, etc.

Care to explain your position a bit more? Or just bored already on a Weds afternoon?

Yup, bored.
Really just thinking over some of the threads i read previously. That as soon as a teenager gets their first part-time job or apprenticeship, parents get grabby. Even to the point that an earning child has to pay pocket money to non-earning siblings. So maybe "immoral" its too strong off the word. Grabby it is.

I didn't think of full salary earning adults and pensioner parents.

@CatsArePeople

Care to explain your position a bit more? Or just bored already on a Weds afternoon?

Yup, bored.
Really just thinking over some of the threads i read previously. That as soon as a teenager gets their first part-time job or apprenticeship, parents get grabby. Even to the point that an earning child has to pay pocket money to non-earning siblings. So maybe "immoral" its too strong off the word. Grabby it is.

I didn't think of full salary earning adults and pensioner parents.

🙄

What a ridiculous statement, how do you know what everyone's circumstances are.

Your job as a parent is to prepare your children for being independent and adults. Personally I think all adult children if working could be contributing to the household. If you wish to save it and give them a deposit later that that is wonderful, how lucky is your adult child. If you can't you have given them the best lesson in being accountable and budgeting.

YABU

Adult children can affect your benefits if they’re a working adult

They cost money in terms of utilities, upkeep of the house and food and should contribute something to this.

My parents always gave us a few months free living before asking for a nominal contribution to the household running costs if we were staying long term, once we were adults with jobs and no longer students. I think this is reasonable.

I don't agree with charging them rent and then saving it for them. Seems really patronizing to me.

DC working full time living at home should contribute to the running costs of the household. Good lesson for when they finally do move out!

I have to say I don't know how I think about this. I have adult children but they are at university and so are supported by us anyway. If they were to come back and live with us after they graduate and have jobs, I assume they would make some contribution. I can't imagine actually charging them rent though.

I left school at 16 and started work. I paid 1/3 of my income as lodge. At 19 my parents both ended up out of work and I had to support three of us.
Yet I don't have the attitude common on here that I had to suffer so my DC will have to as well. And don't get me started on parents who don't top up the student maintenance loan that is based on parental income
(We are not wealthy by MN standards DC got much more than the minimum but less than the maximum student loans.)

I taught them finacial management from an early age, they knew all about savings, credit, investments, bonds etc as teenagers.
I never took anything from them when they got part time jobs at 16, and crucially I didn't reduce their allowances.
I paid them enough at uni so they didn't have to get jobs.
When they graduated they each ended up at home for a year and I didn't take anything off them even though they were earning.
They are both now financially independant, one bought a house at 24 and the other (23) has saved some serious money.

Totally different if you have low income and cannot afford not to take some lodge from working DC.

I think adult children who are earning money should pay a small amount (less than they'd pay in a house share though!). Saving this payment up for them is a nice thing to do but not necessary

I see no issue with it if they're an adult with a job. Gives them the life skill of managing their money. I'd rather they overspend and make bad decisions/mistakes at home where them not paying rent won't land them in court but they'll learn and be more responsible.

@TheGoogleMum

I think adult children who are earning money should pay a small amount (less than they'd pay in a house share though!). Saving this payment up for them is a nice thing to do but not necessary

Much better to teach them how to save and how to manage their money. It's a life skill, like tying shoelaces.

the immersion heater bill alone with 4 teenagers was astronomical.

Only an Irish poster would come out with that 😂

My dd doesn't need help with saving, she never buys anything lol. She has more money saved than I do.

@CatsArePeople Do you have teenagers? They eat a lot, use all the hot water, and a lot of space.
Contributing helps them to be responsible.
It's really sweet when an older siblings throws the unemployed younger DC a treat.
It's what loving siblings do.

Only an Irish poster would come out with that It was mams biggest complaint.

I think it depends on the circumstances, including how much they earn, how much they help around the house, whether or not they're saving so that they can move out, and whether or not the parents can easily afford not to charge rent. Once they're adults capable of supporting themselves, it's not immoral to charge anyone rent, whatever your familial relationship.