To think its immoral to charge children rent?

[CatsArePeople]

Unless you're saving/investing it for them.

Bring on the biscuits

@endofjune

I do understand that there are times when a family’s finances mean they need every penny, but I do think that if you don’t need the money it is mean, to be honest. Not a popular view on here I know.

Do you not think it's mean of the child to accept someone else supporting them when they are otherwise financially independant?

You seem to be making the assumption that everyone's 'child ' will be busy saving up to buy a house. Some will save - some will spend it all on having a good time. Some will be able to afford to buy or rent a house in future - some stand not a cat in halls chance. You obviously live a very privileged lifestyle if you think every parent can afford to either let their child off paying rent or taking rent from them and saving it to give back to them as a nest egg.
What about parents who no longer get child benefit or child tax credits because their child has now left FT education, or whose Ex has stopped paying maintenance. Those parents will now be getting a lot less income so their only option is to charge the child for living under their roof

@Biancadelrioisback

Children? Yeah that's quite mean.

Teenager? If they're working then sure, charge a nominal amount so they get used to having set outgoings if you want.

Adults? Letting them stay for periods for free when their life collapses, absolutely. If they live their long-term, they should pay.

This 100%. My stepson is 18 and just started working and doesn't see why he should pay anything at all - bear in mind we've never asked him for rent, more like grabbing some milk/bread from the shop and he asks us for the money!!!! Despite working 40 hours a week at £10.50 an hour, which is more than his dad brings home!

cat in hells obvs not halls!

Actual children yes. Adult offspring should pay rent.

@bookworm20

So... you would rather have your young adult kids pay someone else's mortgage than save?

And what are you classing as 'young adult'?

I know someone who doesn't charge her ds's rent as they are 'saving' for a house. They are now 28 and 33 and STILL living at home because they spent it all on holidays and beer and cars and literally have next to nothing saved up.

Agree with this.

As a parent, I think it would be immoral for me to allow my children to get used to a certain luxurious standard of living which their actual income does not support once the cost of living is taken into account. If they want the holidays and cars then that's really great but they need to progress to the right career level to fund it.

I'm 50. I paid my mum housekeep as soon as I started working full time at 18 until i moved out. It wasn't an huge amount but it taught me that things in life don't come for free. She couldn't afford to save it for me, it went towards the house and the bills. She could not afford to keep me whilst I was working full time. I've never even given it a second thought until I see posts like this on Mumsnet

It's not rent. It's their share of bills, food etc. Or it should be. That's not immoral. It's teaching them responsibility, and stops then seeing their whole take home wage as disposable, which could otherwise lead them to get into bad habits re their spending.

Whether you give it back to them later or not, is up to your own situation and theirs. Some parents could do with the financial help and shouldn't be made to feel bad about that.

I think it's more of an issue not allowing your children to grow up properly and learn to take on adult responsibilities.

@CatsArePeople

You seem to be rather bored and goady today

@CatsArePeople
Although I do agree with your user name whole heartedly

I never charge children rent.
But adults, yes of course, even when they are mine.

When my children reached 18 they had a choice. If they stayed at home I expected them to get a job and pay rent, I just couldn't afford to keep them rent free. Also, as a single parent I had 25% discount on the council tax but lost it with another adult at home.

If they went to University, I didn't ask for rent while they were studying as they were away and paying their own rent on student digs anyway.
My son left home. My daughter went to Uni then left home.

If they needed to come back for a week or so because their accommodation/job/relationship had fallen through, that would be fine but if returning to live at home for a while, they pay rent. And I would expect them to move out as soon as they could too.
I cannot for the life of me see why this is "immoral" in the slightest.

My parents charged me and my brothers board when we started working. As much as it aggrieved me at the time I look back and don't bloody blame them!

Of all your bills, rent comes first. Everyone needs to learn that. If they are living at home whilst earning they should pay rent. Surely the parent has a moral obligation to help prepare their child for an independent life.

Once earning full time wage there’s nothing wrong at all they are adults and pay their way. Not everyone can afford to fully fund grown adults forever especially once child benefit etc ends.

Immoral?

lol

DD20 works full time, earning more than me. When she finished college, child benefit and maintenance from her father stopped as well as council tax going up. I use half of what she pays to help with shopping/rent etc. The other half I save towards her first house (she doesn't know).

Well I’m currently deciding what to do about my ds as he’s 18 now. He has a part time job working 2 days a week but he’s going to uni in September and his boss has cut his hours down to 5 hours on a Saturday morning. He will be earning practically bugger all but he will have his maintenance loan which isn’t the full amount due to family income. He started this job a few weeks after he turned 16 and my sister in law made a comment that I should be taking money off him. He was still in school finishing off his GCSE’s at the time! She takes money off all of her kids as her benefits have stoped now they’re older but that’s not her kids problem. I always thought i wouldn’t take money of my ds as long as he’s studying full time which he’ll be doing again in September for 3 years but I don’t know. Dh said maybe take £50 a month off him just so he gets used to paying money out but I don’t know. I lose tax credits and child benefit for him which in total is around £180 a month so not loads. We can manage without it and we don’t need to take anything off our ds but does that mean we shouldn’t?

When my dd leaves full time education I'll lose CB and the child element of UC so about £350 a month. If she were to stay living here rent free and she was working (even at minimum wage) she'd have around £800 disposable income to my £54.

If she was happy with that set up I'd think I'd raised a very selfish person.

Have a and some of this

What age are you talking about?

Immoral? Interesting choice of word there.

Care to explain your position a bit more? Or just bored already on a Weds afternoon?

I think this is aiming to shame the poor and make yourself feel better than them by rubbing your wealth in their faces.

You clearly don't feel the need for any money from your adult children towards their keep.

Others may not have that choice and may need the young adult to contribute towards their food and keep. Given that the parent will no longer get child benefit or any associated support to cover the costs of supporting an adult child.

Lovely that you can choose to supplement your adult children, enjoy having that choice. Stop the holier than thou ridiculous moral judgements on others who either can't afford to or have a different view about it than you.

Personally I believe it is important to teach young adults the value of money and expect all with full time jobs to contribute to the household on principle.

We continue to do nice things for them and buy them nice things, but the principle of contribution is important. It is only a small part of their take home pay and does not stop them saving. It is also less than it costs to feed them, if I was poor it would be more out of necessity.

My dd gives me 500, now shoot me

Do you really mean rent or a share of the food and utility bills? IMO all workingadults should pay their living costs.