To think its immoral to charge children rent?

[CatsArePeople]

Unless you're saving/investing it for them.

Bring on the biscuits

If they are an adult and working then yes. It's what they'll have to do anyway when they move out. By charging them a token amount, it'll teach them how to budget and prepare them for the real world. If you send them out into the world having never paid board, they're in for a shock. It could put them on a massive downer having always had a disposable income.

#If they are an adult and working then yes, they should pay rent

It's not about squeezing every possible penny out of them to keep yourself in silk gloves, it's about being a good parent and helping them learn to stand on their own two feet for when they do move out, but with a bit of a safety net.

I must admit I begrudged my mum charging 'board' when I graduated uni and had a year doing entry-level admin work whilst applying for grad jobs. The amount of which seemed to steadily increase several times over a 12 month period despite me earning no extra in this time. Went from £30 per week to £60 per week by the time I was moving to a houseshare in another city to start my grad scheme. Surely I don't cost £240 in extra water/electric and food?

@WhySoSensitive

Yes. My 22 month old and 6 week old need to start paying up or they’re out. Sick of them freeloading.

Cf cocklodgers!

@CatsArePeople

Care to explain your position a bit more? Or just bored already on a Weds afternoon?

Yup, bored.
Really just thinking over some of the threads i read previously. That as soon as a teenager gets their first part-time job or apprenticeship, parents get grabby. Even to the point that an earning child has to pay pocket money to non-earning siblings. So maybe "immoral" its too strong off the word. Grabby it is.

I didn't think of full salary earning adults and pensioner parents.

I can't say I know any adults who are grabby over their kids money.

If they were grabby, they would stoll be trying to get money off them when they move out

The vast majority of parents who charge rent, do not go onto expect handouts from their adult kids when they move out

@NVision

I must admit I begrudged my mum charging 'board' when I graduated uni and had a year doing entry-level admin work whilst applying for grad jobs. The amount of which seemed to steadily increase several times over a 12 month period despite me earning no extra in this time. Went from £30 per week to £60 per week by the time I was moving to a houseshare in another city to start my grad scheme. Surely I don't cost £240 in extra water/electric and food?

The amount of showers my kids have, the effect on a metered water bill is horrifying and that's after I nag them for only being in there 5-10 minutes.

It's all fine and good moaning about paying but on one adult's salary, it only takes a small disaster to be a financial catastrophe. Absolutely gets my goat when entitled adults on here can't understand that a lot of people simply don't have the financial capacity to buffer against unexpected bills etc.

Depends on circumstances obviously but there are no pockets in a shroud and if i have spare cash, i'd rather support my DC than squirrel it away for no purpose. We have pensions etc sorted so don't really need any more rainy day money than we have.

If you could afford to, it would be better placed into some kind of pension plan for them but at the end of the day, if you need rent from them to support the household then of course you would not be in the wrong to charge. I grew up in that circumstance and think it was perfectly fair.

I don’t charge rent to my adult children but they do pay housekeeping.
They are not lodgers who I am renting a room to but they pay a contribution to the bills on the amenities they are using.

I charge my 16yo fuel money to drive her to and from work.

I don’t overly need it, but I am on a budget and it’s costing me money for her to earn money.. why shouldn’t she do the responsible thing and chuck in a fiver every now and then?

Any full time working adults who live here will also have to pay a token amount of rent/food/bills. I’ll cover my kids while they are studying but that’s it.

Where I live though housing isn’t as expensive and most young adults move into share houses as soon as they are able and live the party life. My first share house at 19 was a dump and I had a great time.

Nope, I don't think so. And in some cases households are just getting by so a contribution from working-age kids is a big help.

Also can help towards independence in their 20s, rather than thinking "well I live here for free so no need to look elsewhere yet".

Where I live it is part of the law that every member of a household unit has to contribute to its running within the limits of their age and abilities - it is of course not legally enforcable when DC are below certain ages.

So if you live within a family you share the chores, if you earn money you contribute to the bills.

I have a handyman in the house who told me today about woman he had to go to see last night. She's 85. Her sons, in their 40s, have returned home in the last year. One has brought his wife with him. Her gas and electricity bills have shot through the roof. Her sofa is ruined now. They've broken the shower door. If she buys anything nice to eat for herself, it disappears.

Now do you think that she's immoral to charge rent? She tried to charge them each £300 (per son) but has only received one payment from one and none from the other in the last year. They won't leave and she's not physically strong enough to make that happen.

@Prokupatuscrakedatus

Where I live it is part of the law that every member of a household unit has to contribute to its running within the limits of their age and abilities - it is of course not legally enforcable when DC are below certain ages.

So if you live within a family you share the chores, if you earn money you contribute to the bills.

Where is that?

Someone’s got to keep me in the style to which I am accustomed

If you can afford not to charge your adult children rent, then that's great for you, well done. Not everyone is on a good enough income that when child benefit and tax credits stop, they are as able to cope financially. If you need them to contribute, that's life.

Personally I don't ask my eldest for anything towards keep or board while a student. If they're still with me when they have a full-time job, I'll want them to chip in towards utilities and groceries.

I'm not sure what lesson it teaches to take rent and then give it back to them, it's not treating them like adults - either trust them to save for a deposit themselves like adults - or you need the money, take it for that reason. Otherwise it's just a bit patronising.

YABU

I've been looking at apprenticeships for dd who will be hopefully starting one this time next year. She will earn £139 a week- won't be old enough for driving lessons, so won't run a car I'll be charging her £20 a week at least (probably more) it's really important to co tribute and learn to manage money at that age. £120 a week for a 16 year old will still leave her with loads and she won't have to buy food or basic toiletries etc

@CatsArePeople

Care to explain your position a bit more? Or just bored already on a Weds afternoon?

Yup, bored.
Really just thinking over some of the threads i read previously. That as soon as a teenager gets their first part-time job or apprenticeship, parents get grabby. Even to the point that an earning child has to pay pocket money to non-earning siblings. So maybe "immoral" its too strong off the word. Grabby it is.

I didn't think of full salary earning adults and pensioner parents.

You come across as privileged middle class.

@CatsArePeople

Why should they live rent free? Where is the incentive for them to move out and start living like actual adults?

So... you would rather have your young adult kids pay someone else's mortgage than save?

My eldest has more savings than I do. We’re both saving to buy a house, him for the first time, me after leaving my marriage. Still haven’t managed to prise any money out of him… wish I was less of a doormat…

@HollowTalk
Germany - BGB § 1619 Dienstleistungen in Haus und Geschäft. Das Kind ist, solange es dem elterlichen Hausstand angehört und von den Eltern erzogen oder unterhalten wird, verpflichtet, in einer seinen Kräften und seiner Lebensstellung entsprechenden Weise den Eltern in ihrem Hauswesen und Geschäft Dienste zu leisten.
Yes - it is still vaild and can be put to good use with teens.

Home and business services. As long as the child belongs to the parental household and is brought up or supported by the parents, the child is obliged to serve the parents in their household and business activities in a manner appropriate to their abilities and their position in life.

*NVision

I must admit I begrudged my mum charging 'board' when I graduated uni and had a year doing entry-level admin work whilst applying for grad jobs. The amount of which seemed to steadily increase several times over a 12 month period despite me earning no extra in this time. Went from £30 per week to £60 per week by the time I was moving to a houseshare in another city to start my grad scheme. Surely I don't cost £240 in extra water/electric and food?*

I bet she wanted you to move out.

Sadly for some people they have no choice. I’m a single parent. Eldest is working, rent doubled, tax credits reduced by £370 child benefit reduced too, as they should as he’s supporting himself. I have 3 other children to feed and pay rent so yes I do have to ask him to contribute, he pays half of the rent and I’m still struggling. I do work I might add but it’s a big stretch. I wish I could save it for him. Glad op thinks I’m immoral - son is moving in with his girlfriend and will be paying rent there, lucky he’s a nice lad and was happy to help out until he moved out so I could pay bills and not get into debt

AnyFucker

Someone’s got to keep me in the style to which I am accustomed

Hehe

Couldn't agree more.

My mother was low maintenance (no drink/drugs/designer tat) so my £200 contribution, way back, went a long way.

I've failed, and spoilt mine. Buggerit!

Still time to change.

@NVision

I must admit I begrudged my mum charging 'board' when I graduated uni and had a year doing entry-level admin work whilst applying for grad jobs. The amount of which seemed to steadily increase several times over a 12 month period despite me earning no extra in this time. Went from £30 per week to £60 per week by the time I was moving to a houseshare in another city to start my grad scheme. Surely I don't cost £240 in extra water/electric and food?

Out of interest what did you then pay for your rent, utilities and food?