To think its immoral to charge children rent?

[CatsArePeople]

Unless you're saving/investing it for them.

Bring on the biscuits

I have two working DS's living at home. We have no mortgage to pay so it doesn't sit right with me to charge them board. Also they eat a lot of meals out and buy some stuff themselves. DS1 is crazily irresponsible with money, has been known to gamble money and wastes it on nothing . As he has just returned home after finishing Uni I may take some board off him and save it for him, he actually thinks this is a good idea as he knows he is hopeless. DS2 is very tight, saves a lot and invests, so I don't feel the same need to save for him !

@CatsArePeople

Unless you're saving/investing it for them.

Bring on the biscuits

I think I would rather get my knickers in a twist about absent parents who do everything in their power to avoid paying support for their children.

My ds2 was aghast recently as he was seeing a girl briefly who was charged £400 a month to live at home. I personally feel that is a lot unless you have hugely high rent to pay.

Once t'nippers can go up chimney or down t'pit then they put money in t'kitty.

I was paying something from 16 as I was working part time. Never saw anything wrong with it (didn't see a penny of it back nor did I expect to),

When mine earn, they can contribute something. If we can save it, we will. If we can't then we won't.

Kids do need some lessons in the value of money.

I started work when I was 16 years old.

I was really proud to hand over my 'rent' each month to my mum and dad. It helped them raise their standard of living. I even paid for a week's holiday to the coast for me, them and my two siblings with some of my first year's money.

I remember talking about it with my mates at school when we were about 14 and every one of us was more than happy to pay our way.

Helped me save, I got my first house at 21 years old and the mortgage wasn't a complete fright as I already budgeted for 'rent'.

DS will be asked to contribute when he's out at work.

Will you happily house your 45 year old unemployed by choice son when you're living hand to mouth on your pension?

Actual children YANBU
Your adult children working full time, not in education YABU

We would let DS stay while making substantial saving contributions, but I don't think adults should live a life of luxury and leisure at their parents expense.

I would disagree if they're adult and working. We charge a pretty token £50/week and as they both said (one still at home) they won't find anything cheaper elsewhere! Cheaper and easier on the pocket than when they were at uni. It's a contribution towards food and bills which we all agree is reasonable.

@UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme

Will you happily house your 45 year old unemployed by choice son when you're living hand to mouth on your pension?

Hahaha. I think not!

Well, someone was bored today.🤣

My parents made it clear to me that if I moved back home for an extended period after university, I’d have to contribute financially. As it happened, my first job was in another area so I never did. But I didn’t think they were BU, why should they completely financially support a 20-something?

I’m not sure how I’ll handle it when mine are older. Probably in a similar fashion if they’re working and permanently living at home. Totally different if they need to move home between jobs, relationship breakup, etc. One of my SIL did this for three months when she was job-hunting….she said that living with her parents again at 30 was a great incentive to find a new job. My FIL in particular drove her batty.😂

I wouldn't dream of charging DC rent while they are still at uni. But if they had a job and chose to live at home afterwards, I would expect a contribution to the household income. And if they had no job I would expect them to divide time equally between looking for a job and helping run the home through housework, cooking, laundry and errands. Because otherwise, you are treating adults like children, allowing them to believe that the money they earn is all for fun, and some magic unicorn pays for the dull stuff. It prevents them from achieving proper adulthood. They need to know how much life costs and how much effort it takes to keep on top of every day life.

@LuxOlente

A 7 year old, yes that's mean.

A 27 year old who won't move out - not mean.

I paid my parents rent from my YTS payment when I was 16.

If they working (over 18) the. Yes rent is fair enough. My daughter is 18 but amount to go to uni - she is saving like mad & no I don’t except her to pay rent. If she was not planning uni and working I would.
I paid my parents (it was never returned as a deposit or anything - not that I expected that) never did me any harm!

Well I did wait until they were at least 10 before I started charging the little ingrates rent for bed and board. My sis now, she didn't agree with this and now her children all in their forties refuse to move out, whereas mine are all wealthy homeowners living their best lives.

I find the concept of charging adult children rent weird. My parents never charged me rent until I moved out late 20s. Did I struggle with suddenly being responsible for bills and rent? Of course not! It’s just an excuse that people come up with to save costs on children.

There is such a thing as being too comfortable at home and I've seen it play out more then once in my extended family. Once my children are old enough I will put their rent into savings for them- if I can afford to. If not I won't feel an ounce of guilt for using it on rent/bills/food. My own mother was disabled so once we turned 18 she no longer recieved benefits for us and we had to contribute because she couldn't afford to support us.

Pretty sure its illegal to charge CHILDREN rent, they are legally your responsability so its your job to pay the rent.

Trying to shift that responsability to them is neglect.

As for adults, I expect my kids to fly the nest when they hit the adult stage. They may return in emergancies (sudden homelessness, illness, devorce) in which case I wouldnt be charging them because its a temporary emergancy but they would be expected to fly again ASAP.

Minors who aren't in full time employment, yes.

IF its an adult offspring in employment, then no.

I agree with you.

Without making it into a “race thing”, I find it is generally a white British thing to charge children rent whereas in other minority communities it’s seen as rather inappropriate.

@CatsArePeople

Why should they live rent free? Where is the incentive for them to move out and start living like actual adults?

So... you would rather have your young adult kids pay someone else's mortgage than save?

At what age is it acceptable to treat your adult children like adults?

In full time education (even if working part time) I wouldn’t charge them. Working full and over 18 I would charge them even if a nominal amount.

As others have said, not immoral for adult children in work to contribute to the household.
Immoral is a very strong word!
Also not everyone can afford to run their household with income from all of the adults.

*without

Do you know what a strawman argument is?