To think its immoral to charge children rent?

[CatsArePeople]

Unless you're saving/investing it for them.

Bring on the biscuits

I think young adults need to learn the real value of money, which they don’t really by doing chores and earning pocket money.
I do think young adults should pay towards the keep of the household once they start earning a decent amount, not like 16 and a part time Saturday job type thing but a real job.
It my intention for my son to pay housekeep and put some of it aside as savings for him. He’s only 4 so maybe ask me again in 16 years haha

I claim universal credit, I am disabled and cannot work.

While my children live with me, when they leave education and get jobs, they will be considered as being able to contribute towards the household costs. My money will be adjusted accordingly, whether they actually pay or not. So yeah, they will have to pay me rent.

I don’t know anyone who asked their under 18 yr old to pay rent???

When I was over 18. I had to pay £300 a month. In 1997.

My mother had barely enough money to feed us and I was more than happy to do so

However. That’s as an adult.

Does anyone here know anyone under the age of 18 who were made to pay rent?!?

Depends on circs. How old, how long for, what are they doing- school? college? failing at life???

I agree op. Several threads one was asking to charge rent to a 17 year old so to send to her son at uni. Then ended the thread saying she'd charge the son too when he comes home during summer

Charging a small amount to a salary earning 18 year old to put in a savings account for him/her later is different, but charging to charge is, yes grabby and doesn't feel like good parenthood to me..

No

"Does anyone here know anyone under the age of 18 who were made to pay rent?!?"

I do. 16 year old, told by parents she's depreciating furniture and whitegoods. Half the salary from her weekend job.

Let’s face it they couldn’t live for nothing outside the parental home, so why start them off with a sense of entitlement
I don't get why you think that young people who dont have to give their parents any money to carry on living in the family home would end up having a 'sense of entitlement'.
One action ( not taking money from them) doesn't cause a sense of entitlement. There's a bit more to it than that, usually years of letting them getting away with stuff and making excuses for their poor behaviour, being a poor role model yourself, not letting them taking responsibility for their mistakes etc.

No it’s not immoral. Adults should be paying their way

My ds aged 17 earns over £1000 a month! He chose to drop out of college so I lost my tax credits/child benefit for him. Yes he pays rent and happily does so. He pays 20% of wages. It probably just about covers his food .

I charge adult DS(22) a small amount as he is now earning. He pays roughly £40/week.

I think it is infantilising to save/invest on behalf of an adult who is capable of doing this for themselves. We are saving the money DS gives us for a holiday for DH & me once restrictions are lifted.

@BosseFave “grabby and doesn’t feel like good parenthood to me”?!?!? Are you serious?

You’re aware that people are on VERY limited income and can’t afford to pay for adult children. The loss of child benefit/tax credits etc will push them in to debt.

It’s not “grabby” or band parenting…it’s survival.

Maybe you haven’t been in this position…but it doesn’t take much compassion to put yourself in this situation before commenting.

Privilege can be so ugly!

Its immoral to raise your children with no sensible understanding and experience of how much things cost in the real world, and how to budget.

When my son came back from uni and got a job earning £1000 a month, he paid me £400 a month. If he could have gone anywhere else and got a room, all bills, all food, and pretty much all jobs for that amount then he'd have scored a miracle. It sounds a lot, but if you imagine he was still left with £600 a month disposable income. How many people can say they have that much at the end of every month.

It certainly made it easier for him when he moved out and practically doubled his outgoings to not be a complete shock to the system.

We were a family of 7 children. Mom and dad worked all hours and often more than one job. We never had any luxuries and money exceptionally tight. I left school at 15 and started within a few days. My first wage packet was £7.10.0. I was expected to pay housekeeping from that week. I wasn't on a big wage but still very proud to contribute. I think it teaches youngsters that you have to pay for things you want in this world.

When I was a young teenager, I got a rather absurdly large allowance. However, it was made clear that it was to cover all of my personal expenses other than basic school wardrobe, and a nominal amount was for rent. I know it seems absurd to give a child money, then charge them rent, but the point was to teach me how to budget. And it did.

I think that if 16-17 years olds are working and earning money, a small amount towards the household is reasonable, as it does begin to teach them about outgoings. Once they are 18, if still living at home, then they should be responsible for a percentage of all of the bills...rent, utilities, food...They are going to have to pay those things when they move out. Best get them in the habit of it early.

@notacooldad. I suppose an awareness of what things cost is really at the heart of it. If you don’t ask for a contribution from your adult children, are they aware of what everything costs-utilities, council tax, insurance, etc.? Having four people in our house ( as opposed to just DH and I) hugely impacts our living costs and while I certainly wouldn’t ask for a contribution until they’re settled in employment, I don’t know that I’d want to cover everything for an employed 30-year-old, for example!

@RickiTarr

But then you know your being goady, hence the biscuit reference.

Yep.

CatsArePeople

Care to explain your position a bit more? Or just bored already on a Weds afternoon?

Yup, bored.
Really just thinking over some of the threads i read previously. That as soon as a teenager gets their first part-time job or apprenticeship, parents get grabby. Even to the point that an earning child has to pay pocket money to non-earning siblings. So maybe "immoral" its too strong off the word. Grabby it is.

I didn't think of full salary earning adults and pensioner parents.

Good parenting? Yes
Preparing your child for the real world? Yes
Grabby? No

Some parents cannot afford to support their adult children once tax credits, universal credit, child benefit stops especially single parents.

My parents took a portion of my wages even my P/T after school job. It taught me to budget, to pay my own way, to save for things I wanted, prioritise bills etc.
My ex husband never paid his DPs a penny. He got paid on Friday and the money was his to do with as he wanted. He blew it on trash and then asked his DP to pay for his car, fuel, night out etc. He never had to pay a penny back either. He is now 55 and still cannot budget to save his life.

I don't know about immoral OP. That's a little extreme. But personally I find it very odd. I think it is a cultural thing but where I am from I don't know anyone who charges their adult children rent.

I certainly have no intention of charging mine. There are many ways to teach children how to manage their finances without charging them rent.

@Dogsandbabies. Would you consider asking for a contribution towards what they consume-food, utilities, etc.? I wouldn’t charge “rent” either, but probably ask for something towards those bills if an employed adult child lived with me for a long period of time (not just a few months).

"When I was a young teenager, I got a rather absurdly large allowance. However, it was made clear that it was to cover all of my personal expenses other than basic school wardrobe, and a nominal amount was for rent. I know it seems absurd to give a child money, then charge them rent, but the point was to teach me how to budget. And it did."

That's an interesting and much better approach. Different in spirit than charging a child to live with you at home. The point is, as exemplified above, there are many different ways to teach a child about budgeting, than simply grabbing their earnings. Sorry but I dont agree with posters who hide behind the excuse of teaching children about money. It is your child, it's his/her home, as posters find it unbelievable some people are questioning it as money grab, I find it unbelievable they're actually thinking it to be moral. I guess we'll have to agree to disagree... My family didn't charge me, (they would very much be appalled at the idea ) and I'm quite ok with my finances. Maybe there's a cultural aspect as well? where I'm from, I've never seen charging children rent, it's not even a discussion topic I've ever heard of

The money my dd gives me covers:
council tax
gas and electric
water
petrol money when I take her to work
internet
food and other essential
She would be paying a lot more money, if she had her own place.

@Cameleongirl personally I wouldn't. But I don't judge others that do. I think personal experiences and circumstances are key. Reading through posters responses who can't afford it I can completely understand and sympathise.

Personally, my dad helped me through my studies, with rent and fees. I had a job for my spending money. As soon as he retired started making sure that I gave him back all the things I am lucky to have been provided with. He won't accept cash but I pay for holidays, his car.

I started planning for my kids deposits/uni fees as soon as I was financially able. But I am lucky that I earn well.

@Dogsandbabies. Different approaches work for different people. My main bugbear is when I see people my age (46) expecting a lot from their elderly parents, it really upsets me. And I do know a handful like that.

18 and over and earning then yes they still expect washing done whatever they want to eat at whatever hour every electronic device on constantly so why not life is hard they have to get use to it living on there own would cost a lot bloody more