To think its immoral to charge children rent?

[CatsArePeople]

Unless you're saving/investing it for them.

Bring on the biscuits

If they're working they should contribute. How are they supposed to get a sense of budgeting/the cost of living otherwise?

Seriously?

When I was at uni at 18 with a bunch of other 18 year olds I didn't meet one single 18 year old who didn't know you had to pay your hall fees / rent etc or end up homeless.

No one I knew pocketed all their cash and didn't know what was a priority to pay first.

If you think you have to charge rent to teach budgeting then you've done a poor job of raising your children. It is simple maths.

I am not sure how this can be avoided for a lot of people OP.

Part of my rent was covered by universal credit. Once DS was earning a wage, I lost the universal credit because I have to declare someone else is living there and working.

I then can’t afford to pay the rent without his contribution.

Even as my wage increases, I still earn less than DS. Why should he live rent free while I pay rent out of my lower wage?

If they're working they should contribute. How are they supposed to get a sense of budgeting/the cost of living otherwise? 🤣🤣🤣
My two managed. The 24 year old moved into his new house a few months ago, has a decent savings account and some good investments. I never took a penny from him. Ds2 manages to budget for his car insurance at £2000 a year,put money towards a holiday and money into his housing savings, pay for his day expenses and has the odd treat night out.
Somehow they learned to budget. Ok so I helped but I didn't need to take money from them to show how to prioritize their spending.

@LibertyMole

I am not sure how this can be avoided for a lot of people OP.

Part of my rent was covered by universal credit. Once DS was earning a wage, I lost the universal credit because I have to declare someone else is living there and working.

I then can’t afford to pay the rent without his contribution.

Even as my wage increases, I still earn less than DS. Why should he live rent free while I pay rent out of my lower wage?

I had that with my family. I ended up home longer than I should be because my mother couldn't afford her own rent without benefits or my money.

Took me longer to save to move out because of it.

Don’t be ridiculous.

My dd pays board. She’s working and earning a really good salary. A lot more than me actually. She’s using heating, water, WiFi etc etc and gets all her meals and washing done. Why shouldn’t she pay exactly?!!

Tiger, it isn’t my son’s home. It is my home, which I took out a tenancy on after he had left home.

It is not a place for him to come and live in to save up money.

When I was off uni for a year on compassionate leave, I got a minimum wage, full time job with people my mother knew.

She didn't charge me rent.

She had her friends make the cheques payable to "initial surname" as we share the same initial. She had 100% of my wages, except for train fare to get to work.

She then left me a shelf in the fridge for my food, except I couldn't buy any as she had all my wages. I lost a lot of weight as the job was very active. I basically didn't eat for 10 months.

Some parents are arseholes. I wouldn't have minded 10/20% of my wages but she left me with nothing.

An adult working full time and living at home should be paying towards the house.

A student or very young adult starting out / on a part time job then I wouldn't take money.

‘I had that with my family. I ended up home longer than I should be because my mother couldn't afford her own rent without benefits or my money.’

Because amazingly, the government don’t see it as her rent when another adult is living there; they see it as both of your rent if you are an adult.

I paid rent from the age of 18 when working, taught me to budget.

@AnneLovesGilbert was your rather sarcastic post meant for the op, just because the question's been asked before? Who made you the thread police??
If you're not interested in the thread just ignore & move on 🙄

My adult daughter earns more than me. All I've made her pay is her half of the council tax (single parent so used to get single adult discount), what I lost when her tax credits stopped and a bit towards food. Think that is more than reasonable. She can still save about £200 a month and havr ample spending.

@PennyRoyal

DD20 works full time, earning more than me. When she finished college, child benefit and maintenance from her father stopped as well as council tax going up. I use half of what she pays to help with shopping/rent etc. The other half I save towards her first house (she doesn't know).

I plan to do this. DD turns 18 next month, taking a gap year and is working FT instead. She hopes to rent her own place ASAP from next month though. If she is here, I will save half of her rent.

viques your post of 16.23

Adult children with an income, of course they should pay their way. Actual children, obviously not.

While immoral is a strong word, I certainly wouldn't take money off my kids if I didn't need it, just to "teach them that money is valuable".

I'd consider it reasonable and right to support them financially while at uni if I can afford it.

If I can't afford it, sit down with them and work out together how to make it work. That may involve them having to find a job or to take a loan.

Once uni is over (so around 23 years old) if they haven't already moved out, sit down with them and talk about what their plan is. If that involves them staying at home I wouldn't charge rent but may ask a contribution towards living costs (so food, utilities, etc). I would also expect them to have some sort of plan (save for a deposit for X months ? Move in with a friend at X date ?)

But no, I wouldn't start charging the moment they turn 18. Surely there is a middle ground between taking money from your 18 year old child and them staying rent-free at home until they're 45...

Obviously if the parent is struggling financially that's different. But otherwise, either you're okay with them staying home, or you're not. Charging them money to "incentivize them to leave" is pretty underhanded. Just tell them you want them to move out.

If they can't afford to move out they probably can't afford to pay rent anyhow.

Although I wouldn't personally charge my adult children rent, I don't see any problem with working adult children paying rent to live at home once they're out of education.

Weird - I normally feel drawn to cat people ...

I think my cat engages with me way more than the OP has with this thread 😂. At least they admitted they were bored.

Nice to see a thread where everyone has their heads screwed on right and, at the end of the day, it all come down to personal circumstances and that there’s pretty much no judgement. So, nice one OP, the responses were all great to read.

My parents and DH parents have never charged us rent and as a result we're all home owners. I don't think it breeds feckless losers.

However there are some people who can't financially support another adult and they shouldn't be condemned for it.

However there are some people who can't financially support another adult and they shouldn't be condemned for it.

Actually there are many people unable to financially support another adult, and while it is well meant, it is shocking that anyone should have to even suggest that they shouldn't be condemned for not being part of the privileged ranks who can.

Well, it sounds like you are speaking from a position of privilege where you don’t need the money. Not everyone can afford to maintain adult (old enough to be earning a wage) children indefinitely. People receiving benefits for their children need to pay for food etc once they teach the age where they no longer get benefits. Others may just think that if you earn then you contribute to the family. It’s not immoral - that’s just over the top.

@PurpleHoodie

viques your post of 16.23

? Not me.

You mean fellow adults living and contributing to the household costs?
No not really, and I paid my mum and dad, I intend to charge them a 1:3 of their take home when working full time or part time if they are not studying.
Whilst in full time education I am happy to continue to support and allow them to live with us for free or if they can't work for any reason.

I do think it is immoral for adults to freeload off the older and elderly people mind...

My mother charged all of us 25 percent of our income once we left school. We were all living independently by the time we were 21 and none have ever returned. We all get on fine and visit and stay over with each other. All our children live independently all before they were 20.
Absolutely adult children should pay rent.

We supported ds through his BA and MA,so no loans at all. He spent 15 months living at home trying to find a job in his field, then Covid hit, and he still lived with and was supported by us. He now works full time, and damn right, I charge him keep. £50 a week, which means he is quids in. It's way less than he would pay in rent, bills, food and travel if he moved out.