Definition of a "single parent"

[forinborin]

Just for traffic.
In your opinion, at what point does the definition of a "single parent" start to apply?

Say:
Scenario 1. Someone who sees their children infrequently, not overnights or long stays, not participating financially or otherwise.
Scenario 2. A standard "weekend parent" arrangement, i.e. every other weekend Fri to Sun, pays the official maintenance amount.
Scenario 3. A parent with 50/50 care and share of all responsibilities.

Asking just out of interest - read something about a person who is more like the first option above, and was puzzled at the "single parent" definition applied to them.

Or is it as simple as "single" + "parent" = "single parent"?

Why does it matter

Imo a Single Parent is someone who is both a parent and single. Regardless of the set up.

If I had to assign terminology to your scenarios:-

1. An absent parent
2. A non resident parent
3. A parent

If scenario 3 is also not in a relationship then that’s a single parent.
The others aren’t.

A single parent is a parent who is bringing up their child on their own during contact and isn't in a relationship with the other parent.

A lone parent is a parent who is parenting entirely alone, the other parent isn't involved.

It's nothing to do with frequency of seeing the kids.

Im a single mother; my ex is a single father.

@HariboBrenshino covers it all.

I would not describe scenario 1 really as a single parent. That's an absent parent.

For me the word single parent implies that the child resides with them at least some of the time and has some degree of financial and care responsibility for the child.

If you see a child infrequently and don't contribute materially to his or her upkeep you may be "single" but you are not really a parent.

I refer to myself as a lone parent as the other parent is absent and I parent solo. I think that’s very different to someone who has an active involved ex.

There are definitely lots of degrees of being a single parent. There are single parents who share care of a child amicably and efficiently and although each parent is single and parents the child alone during contact, there is someone sharing the cost and burden, and someone to go to with concerns.

That's a very different scenario to one parent doing absolutely everything with no input at all from the other parent.

Money also changes the outlook significantly. I'm a lone parent in the true sense of the word as my ex contributes nothing either financially or in terms of childcare responsibilities. But I have a fairly well paid job so I'm in a very different boat from someone on benefits or working a minimum wage job.

is that list for fathers?
I'm a single parent, I have my children ALL the time, their father NEVER sees them (but that's the kids' choice)

So I'm not 1), 2) or 3)

I guess in my head, it’s someone who is single, and has their children at least 50% of the time. I’m not quite sure why that’s where I draw the line though 🤷‍♀️

If pushed I’d say none of them. Half men in the country be single parents if
It meant have kids and not in relationship with the child’s mother.

50:50 again is shared care and therefore not doing the majority of it on their own and spending half the week as child responsibility free.

To be single parent is someone bringing up the kids without the kids father and doing most of the work. EOW doesn’t take much of the responsibility or hard graft away.

I'd say someone with 50/50 at the least. Or someone with the majority of the care. I'd not class exp as a single parent really. Contributes nothing financially outside his EOW where his girlfriend does the parenting instead of me.

Imo a single parent is a parent who soley looks after the child with no very minimal / no help from the other parent.

Those who say theyre 'single parents' who share children with the other parents for some of the time are surely 'single people' rather than 'single parents'.

Thats just my opinion.

Someone who is single and a parent.

I'm a single parent, exh pays maintenance and has DS around 3/4 nights a month.

I use "lone parent" for someone who is parenting alone with no input from the other parent.

@thepeopleversuswork

I would not describe scenario 1 really as a single parent. That's an absent parent.

For me the word single parent implies that the child resides with them at least some of the time and has some degree of financial and care responsibility for the child.

If you see a child infrequently and don't contribute materially to his or her upkeep you may be "single" but you are not really a parent.

Agree with this. Person in scenario 1 is biologically a parent but not acting in a parental role.

I think I take it to mean that they are 1) single, 2) a parent and 3) the primary carer with the majority of parenting responsibility.

I would say where a child is cared for by both parents fairly equally then they are co-parenting with their ex.

But it’s not that simple of course! If the ex doesn’t contribute to clothing, is useless in an emergency, shows no interest in supporting their child and is borderline neglectful then the other parent could well feel like a single parent even if in theory they share care fairly equally.

Someone who is raising their children alone, with full custody I suppose. Parents who are split up but share overnights, 50/50 or every other weekend more like co-parents/shared parents?

I class myself as a single parent although my kids see there dad twice a week.
I have friends that say oh your so lucky you get two nights a week to yourself and fire back yes but five nights of the week I'm the one doing absolutely everything. Getting them up making breakfast washing teeth brushing pack ups school / Nursery drop offs collections tea baths clear up from tea 3x homework 3 x bedtime story shit loads of washing ironing and bed changing, cleaning house maintenance taking bins out house admin school admin Nursery admin.
No one makes my tea or out the kids to bed on my five nights so yeah I'm a single parent / single adult house / exhausted and frustrated mum of three oh and then there is my job on top!

Well you have to NOT be in a relationship with the father of our child, for a start. Although clearly quite a few women didn't get that memo.

@vodkaredbullgirl

Why does it matter

It doesn't really matter, just out of idle interest. I was just wondering where the majority of people draw a line. Because for me "single parent" does sound like "extra difficulties in life due to having children" - financial, logistical, you name it. But read something where it has been used in respect of, effectively, absent father and it made me think. Not a native speaker too so thought I am missing some nuance.

@ivegotthisyeah

I class myself as a single parent although my kids see there dad twice a week. I have friends that say oh your so lucky you get two nights a week to yourself and fire back yes but five nights of the week I'm the one doing absolutely everything. Getting them up making breakfast washing teeth brushing pack ups school / Nursery drop offs collections tea baths clear up from tea 3x homework 3 x bedtime story shit loads of washing ironing and bed changing, cleaning house maintenance taking bins out house admin school admin Nursery admin. No one makes my tea or out the kids to bed on my five nights so yeah I'm a single parent / single adult house / exhausted and frustrated mum of three oh and then there is my job on top!

Agreed.

@PearlFriday

is that list for fathers? I'm a single parent, I have my children ALL the time, their father NEVER sees them (but that's the kids' choice)

Well, yes, it does focus on the lower half of the parental engagement spectrum. So statistically yes, more relevant to fathers, although I tried to be neutral in my OP not to offend.

I class myself as a single parent - child has no contact with father, father provides no support in anyway including maintenance. I do everything, I am on call 24/7 and provide for all needs.

As someone else said above a single parent is different to a single person.

A single parent is a parent who is not in a relationship, especially if they live with you.

I’m a single mum because I don’t have a partner.

A mum who has had a boyfriend for 6 months is not a single mum.

It gets really ridiculous when someone calls themselves a single mum and they’ve been in a long term relationship for 5 years. No, you’re just not with your child’s father anymore.