Definition of a "single parent"

[forinborin]

Just for traffic.
In your opinion, at what point does the definition of a "single parent" start to apply?

Say:
Scenario 1. Someone who sees their children infrequently, not overnights or long stays, not participating financially or otherwise.
Scenario 2. A standard "weekend parent" arrangement, i.e. every other weekend Fri to Sun, pays the official maintenance amount.
Scenario 3. A parent with 50/50 care and share of all responsibilities.

Asking just out of interest - read something about a person who is more like the first option above, and was puzzled at the "single parent" definition applied to them.

Or is it as simple as "single" + "parent" = "single parent"?

as in actually DO something otherwise you’re a sperm/egg donor.

Also no woman is lucky if her exH has their kids 52 days a year and a bit in the holidays and actually pays for his children. Stop perpetuating this misogyny, it's so damaging!that's the bare minimum they should do!

This, with bells on. NRPs are legally obliged to pay maintenance, doesn't make us RPs "lucky".

My friend is now a single parent but before her marriage broke down her husband worked away often for weeks at a time. She says it's not comparable at all to being on her own now.

Also, plenty of RPs work on their "weekend off". I often do, I wfh and flexibly so it enables me to catch up.

And massive eye roll to anyone pretending they are doing it "all on their own" when the other parent actually.. co-parent

Honestly I prefer being a lone parent. This way I dont have to consider another persons views etc, I just parent the way I want them raised and that is that. Theres no arguments, no nastiness etc. I actually think being 100% sole parent is easier in some ways that 50/50 split especially if things are not amicable.

@FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop

And before you say it I'm not a co-parent. I do not parent in conjunction with my ex. He does the Disney dad stuff, I do the slog - we do no collaborate about the children and how we raise them. Communications is kept to timings of pick ups and now they're old enough that we don't even come up to the door, the kids come out to the car. I have no co-parenting arrangement with him whatsoever

Agree with this - to me co-parenting implies a collaboration with shared values and responsibilities, shared care and an amiable set-up.

‘Co-parenting’ with an unreliable drunk is impossible. At least when they’re totally absent you don’t have to keep picking up the pieces left behind every time they disappoint their DCs. You can’t measure the difficulty of someone’s parenting set-up in days or money or what they call themselves - every family is unique.

Why does everyone have to push this hierarchy of parenting all the time? It’s ridiculous and serves no purpose.

@StaceysmomandIhavegotitgoinon from my perspective I wish I were a lone parent...but not my childrens. Everything has up and downsides like you say.

Imo a Single Parent is someone who is both a parent and single. Regardless of the set up

Not if they are not doing any parenting.

@StaceysmomandIhavegotitgoinon

Honestly I prefer being a lone parent. This way I dont have to consider another persons views etc, I just parent the way I want them raised and that is that. Theres no arguments, no nastiness etc. I actually think being 100% sole parent is easier in some ways that 50/50 split especially if things are not amicable.

This is not my situation but a close friend of mines. She finds it less stressful overall. Sometimes in life you don't discover how different you and your partner really are until it comes to parenting.

Agree with this - to me co-parenting implies a collaboration with shared values and responsibilities, shared care and an amiable set-up.

YY @MarkRuffaloCrumble

Me and ex don't do this. We didn't do it as a couple because I did all the child rearing and he'd give a pony ride to the kids 10 minutes on a night and then go to his Xbox

His parenting style is telling the kids that COVID is a hoax and if anyone tells them to wear a mask they have to tell them to fuck off. Our kids are 5 and 9. And according to my DD, his EOW mostly consists of his parents looking after the kids while he goes to the pub. Which is fine, it's his time and I am not ever going to start telling him how to spend his contact time - as long as the kids are safe.

That is not co-parenting. I co-parent more with our goldfish than I do with my ex

@kindaclassy

And massive eye roll to anyone pretending they are doing it "all on their own" when the other parent actually.. co-parent

A glorified babysitter does not a co-parent make. Enjoy looking at your teeny brain when you roll your eyes back

Do single parents become "relationship parents" or "parents" if they have a relationship with another person?

If, when your kids are in your care, you are the one solely making decisions for their well-being, you are the "single parent"

If I met someone now and we were in a relationship (I think 6 months plus to call it a relationship) then I would introduce him as my boyfriend and tell people that I am not single but I would still be parenting alone.

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop

We get it, you dislike your ex, no need to start insulting me because you dislike co-parenting with him.

If you are miffed he is actually involved in your children's life, and you resent having your weekends off and the time their dad is looking after the children, I am not sure if calling yourself "a single parent" is changing anything to your situation

@wobytide

Do single parents become "relationship parents" or "parents" if they have a relationship with another person?

If, when your kids are in your care, you are the one solely making decisions for their well-being, you are the "single parent"

For me a single parent remains a single parent, regardless of their relationship status, as long as they have sole residence and the bulk of the financial and care responsibility for the child.

I'm not a single person because I'm in an established relationship but I still consider myself a single parent because my daughter lives with me (and my boyfriend doesn't) and I pay 100% of the costs for her upkeep, make 100% of the decisions about her care, am 100% responsible for childcare other than when I pay childminders or babysitters and am fully responsible for her emotionally and in terms of her education and social welfare.

My boyfriend is involved with her care at the margins, to the extent that he spends time with her, cares for her sometimes for short periods when I can't, has a relationship with her and somethings buys things for her, but my relationship with him has very little bearing on my role as a parent to her.

And that's the way I prefer to keep it.

I’d definite a single parent as someone who doesn’t have any or minimal additional parental support and is essentially doing it on their own.
Single parent makes it sound like the child only has one parent, in my opinion.

We get it, you dislike your ex, no need to start insulting me because you dislike co-parenting with him.

I don't co-parent with my ex, and it's certainly not for you, narrow minded stranger, to say I do.

How about this: you at the ultimate single parent, the only one in the world and we infinite not-as-single-parents-according-to -the-bible-of-kindaclassybow down to your superior martyrdom.

Happy now?

Also what on Earth made you think I resent weekends off? Why are you making things up? It's just really embarrassing for you TBH

Don't most of us just say "I'm a single parent" because it's easier and less fucking weird than saying "I am a parent, who is divorced but my ex has them EOW and once in the holidays, and sometimes the babysitter looks after them too but I mostly have them for about 300 days of the year. I am not a single parent because that mighty status is reserved for people who are never more than 6cm away from diddums"

If you’re single or in a relationship but don’t live with your partner then you’re a single parent imo. It doesn’t matter whether there’s a 50:50 arrangement or otherwise, you don’t have another adult you’re in a relationship with at home with you helping out.

A single parent imo is a parent who is not in a relationship with the other parent or in a live- in relationship with another person who is taking a parental role and who is the primary carer for the child/ren.

I consider myself a single parent. I have been separated from my ex for 3 years, he makes no financial contribution and does not have DS overnight, though generally sees him once a week.

I consider myself single as I am not in a relationship as opposed to lone where the other parent is not around at all. I think single parents cease to be so when they cohabit with a partner (whether the children’s father or otherwise).

I have no family support. I parent DS 24/7.

Single parent: person with child under 18 where the other parent has contact.
Solo parent (me, back in the day) child under 18 and other parent deceased/has no contact at all.