Definition of a "single parent"

[forinborin]

Just for traffic.
In your opinion, at what point does the definition of a "single parent" start to apply?

Say:
Scenario 1. Someone who sees their children infrequently, not overnights or long stays, not participating financially or otherwise.
Scenario 2. A standard "weekend parent" arrangement, i.e. every other weekend Fri to Sun, pays the official maintenance amount.
Scenario 3. A parent with 50/50 care and share of all responsibilities.

Asking just out of interest - read something about a person who is more like the first option above, and was puzzled at the "single parent" definition applied to them.

Or is it as simple as "single" + "parent" = "single parent"?

@funinthesun19

A single parent is a parent who is not in a relationship, especially if they live with you.

I’m a single mum because I don’t have a partner.

A mum who has had a boyfriend for 6 months is not a single mum.

It gets really ridiculous when someone calls themselves a single mum and they’ve been in a long term relationship for 5 years. No, you’re just not with your child’s father anymore.

I think in that situation it depends if that partner is a significant part of the child's life? You could be with someone for 5 years but only see them when the dc are away, not live with them, he doesn't act in any way as a parent. If they live together then yes not single

and after 6 months a partner wouldn't have even met my kids. I'd definitely still be a single parent

Weirdly I think actually it would be helpful to have more names to describe the various set up in the modern world.

Eg

Separate but co parent where children live in two homes but parents are equal involved in life;
Primary parent when other parent does something but very little;
Widow parent;
Solo parent someone who chose to have a child by themselves.

All of these could be described as a single parent but actually the realities are very different

My exH who has the children eow would still class himself as a single parent.

It's self defined isn't it? And I don't really know why it matters.

Fwiw the statutory definition is someone who has their child alone for more than half the week.

And even if I had a boyfriend, I'd still be a single parent - no one else will ever have responsibility to parent my children.

My exH who has the children eow would still class himself as a single parent.

Same. I consider myself a single parent. In our case I’m the default for everything. He will regularly decide at the last minute not to see Dds and I will have to make alternative arrangements. I dread to think what would happen to dc, if I was suddenly taken ill.

Being the only parent in a household and being solely responsible for keeping a roof over the kids heads, and all the mortgage and bills etc

I am a single parent. I don't have a partner. My DS sees ex EOW and nothing in between. Everything is on me.
It works for us but I would say that I am a SP

I had thought of myself as a single parent, but reading above comments I'm a lone parent. No input from other parent, no contact. CMS give me the bare minimum when they can. Therefore he's not a single parent, the thought of that gives me the rage. He's an absent father.

@goddessofmischief agree with you there! I wouldn't call my ex a single parent and he has EOW. And absent father isn't a SP

I’d say lone parent I’d think of as a widow, single parent not in a relationship at all either with the father or another person.

Someone who raises their children alone. I have a client who refers to herself as a single parent when she only sees her children at the weekend. Seems wrong.

Though I was with my partner for 6 years, not my kids dad, he didn't live with me or share my finances or responsibilities in any way and I still said I was a single mum. As I was.

I am a single parent.

I have no partner to ease the burden of raising my children or with day to day living - ie nobody to help with bills, domestic chores etc.

I have primary care of my children with occasional visits to their other parent and a little bit of money from them that doesn't go anywhere near covering half the costs of raising a children.

I have all the mental load in raising our children. I don't get to pick and choose when it's convenient or not to care for the children - ie can't care for them today because I want to go out/ work late/ etc...

I’ve always thought I’m a single parent. XH left when DCs were 3 yrs and 5 mths. He paid minimal maintenance and had EOW as access but often cancelled at the last minute. I did everything - parents’ nights, ferrying to drama, gymnastics, clubs etc. XH moved 500 miles away when DCs were young. They are still in contact although DC1 sees him maybe once a year.

Met DH when DCs were teens. He was never really their “parent” , I still feel like a single parent although DCs are adults and I have GC. (XH doesn’t want to be a GP - he has new DC). GC call DH Grandad. DC1 had traumatic time when her DH died. XH pretends none of it happened.

DH has been very generous and supportive of my DC, but he’s not and won’t be their parent. He’s just a very good person.

If I have to call myself anything it would be a single parent as that is a universally common term for parent who is not with the child's parent and not in a relationship. People who don't know me don't need to know the finer details.

I am a single parent.
This means I have 100 per cent responsibility for my children.
There IS no other parent on the scene and no other support
No one else helps me make decisions
No one else contributes financially
If I had to give it thought I don’t generally question or criticise other people’s definition of a single parent
The only form of single I have silently laughed at is when at primary school mums would say oh it’s so hard my husband is away and I’m a proper single parent this weekend Or my husband is working away for a month and it’s so so hard and im effectively a single parent
Single parents can have a second legal parent but these are often. a parent who does not share the financial or emotional burden. So a crap or absent or unreliable or irresponsible parent can also make someone a single parent

Personally Id say you need a dependant you care for be a single parent. So someone with adult, independant child would be single, and a parent, but not a single parent. Likewise a completely absent parent wouldnt be a single parent.

Single parent -not in a relationship , dad has done form of contact/support

Lone parent -doing it completely on their own no partner and child's father is absent

A single parent is a parent who is bringing up their child on their own during contact and isn't in a relationship with the other parent.

This.

So all apply.thought I have been told on here I'm not a "proper" single parent because ExH has the kids EOW

@forinborin

Just for traffic. In your opinion, at what point does the definition of a "single parent" start to apply?

Say:
Scenario 1. Someone who sees their children infrequently, not overnights or long stays, not participating financially or otherwise.
Scenario 2. A standard "weekend parent" arrangement, i.e. every other weekend Fri to Sun, pays the official maintenance amount.
Scenario 3. A parent with 50/50 care and share of all responsibilities.

Asking just out of interest - read something about a person who is more like the first option above, and was puzzled at the "single parent" definition applied to them.

Or is it as simple as "single" + "parent" = "single parent"?

1 is an absent parent or Disney parent. The other parent is the sole parent there. 2 I think weekend parent is actually the best description there. The other parent is a single parent

1. 50/50 I'd say both parents are co-parents. Though the caveat is that often one parent takes a lot more of the mental load, 50/50 shared care is not necessarily equal parenting. If one parent carries the load they'd be a single parent and the other parent something else, co-parent maybe.

We do need more widely agreed terms to convey co-parental relationships with other parent and children.

A single parent has 100% of the childcare and no (ex) partner to share the cost, the care or the responsibility.

But some single parents have family support, and kids who spend every weekend at their grand-parents, are picked up a few days a week by a family member.

Some "co-parent" happily married have sole care while the other is working (sometimes overseas, sometimes for weeks or months), and no family support.

Some divorced or separated parents manage to share roughly 50/50. That's not being a single parent, but who is going to check?

A single parent is a parent who is bringing up their child on their own during contact and isn't in a relationship with the other parent.

Yep agree with this also. I’m a single parent, my kids dad has them EOW. He is a single parent too.

Calling yourself a single parent when you have your weekends off, or EOW off is pushing it, but whatever makes people feel happy!

Who cares really.

@kindaclassy

Calling yourself a single parent when you have your weekends off, or EOW off is pushing it, but whatever makes people feel happy!

Who cares really.

I solely look after my children 85% of the time. I don't have a partner. In that time I do everything from activities to school runs, meals to late nights, tears over nasty kids at school, homework, parents evening sicknesses - I spent yesterday covered in vomit as my son had a bug - I do this all on my own. No one to back me up or bounce off.

ExH plays Disney dad for about 50 days a year. No one else on my side during my contact time cares for my kids

What the fuck else would I call myself if not a single parent? And what's it to you anyway?

. I have a single parent friend who's ex lives abroad and sees the kids once every 2 years for 2 weeks. Is she not a single parent? I have a colleague who's ex has disappeared into thin air but her children get looked after every weekend by her parents . So more time off than me but I guess she is 'more' of a single parent?

I hate this race to "I have it shitter than you". It reeks of bitterness

I hate this race to "I have it shitter than you". It reeks of bitterness

but that's exactly what you are doing. No one really cares, but it's a bit odd to pretend there's no help or no dad involved when there is one.