To think attractive men are a rare thing?

[Strawberryshitfest]

I’ve been single for a lot of my life/only had a couple of relationships. I find it quite rare to meet or even see in the street a man I find attractive, whereas there are stunning women everywhere (I’m straight). I meet more women due to my job, but it seems that the average woman is better looking than the average man.
Even when I meet someone I find handsome/good looking, I often don’t find I’m attracted to them (I can appreciate they are good looking but something about their personality/mannerism/anything really puts me off). 2 of the 3 relationships I have had I’ve started off friends and only found my self attracted to the person after getting to know them. Only once have I met a guy and been instantly attracted to him and ended up in a relationship. Very occasionally (probably 5ish times) I’ve met other men and been really attracted to them (looks, voice, first impression of personality). But on average I find about 90%+ of the men I meet don’t do it for me at all. Is this normal or am I too fussy? How often do you meet a man you find attractive (whether you’re single or not).

And the men I have found attractive have not exactly been models/greek gods or anything. Whenever I’ve met objectively extremely good looking men I’ve not fancied them much at all, and the men I have found attractive have sometimes been objectively much worse looking than the many I am not attracted too-usually have a good personality/energy/something. Made online dating v hard

the only thing that is relevant is who YOU find attractive.

There are quite a lot of attractive men around me, but in fairness they are all taken (so I am so it's not an issue )

Online dating is a gamble, keep going but I would also join something that interest you. Having something in common helps. Sports clubs are a mine for me, but it could be anything.

Attraction is a very personal thing, if we all went for the same stereotypes most of us would be sadly disappointed!

Re there being more gorgeous women than men, what percentage of women are sporting makeup, hair dye, false lashes... compared to men?

I never see attractive men. But if women didn’t wear makeup then I doubt I’d see many attractive women either.

whereas there are stunning women everywhere

Your definition of "stunning women" may not be the same for men. I'm sure there will be men saying exactly the same, that there are no attractive women around, even though you think there are.

I agree, I think there are far more good looking women than men. Women make a lot more effort generally which helps. I think to meet people you have to go out and get involved in different things that you are interested, I think it's must easier to gauge attraction that way than online. I think covid has probably made it all very difficult but hopefully not for too much longer

“ Whenever I’ve met objectively extremely good looking men I’ve not fancied them much at all, and the men I have found attractive have sometimes been objectively much worse looking than the many I am not attracted too-usually have a good personality/energy/something.”

^I think this bit undermines your point somewhat. Are you saying YOU don’t fancy many men, or are you saying be there just aren’t many objectively attractive men around?

I don’t know about the former. The latter could well be true though. I very, very rarely meet men who I would say are objectively good-looking. It’s incredibly rare that I fancy a man but often see unattractive men with good-looking women.

When I'm ovulating I see attractive men everywhere! There is a dad at the school gates who is lovely. My son's tennis coach. A man at work. Obviously DH.

I'm less attracted to strangers during the rest of the month though. Luckily I still think DH is lovely

Are you definitely straight? Not a jokey pass-agg question, a genuine one! I realised I was bi when I fancied just as many (if not more) women than men.

Otherwise... maybe you're just fussy, which is no bad thing! I'm attracted to a very particular quality in men I'd find it hard to describe except I know it when I encounter it. It's nothing to do with looks, so I can't say I'm attracted to many men on the street. I find the same attractive in women, but I find more women immediately visually attractive.

Depends if I am ovulating or not :D Many many men I find unattractive for 24 days of the month become so very very delicious when I am ovulating!

Re there being more gorgeous women than men, what percentage of women are sporting makeup, hair dye, false lashes... compared to men?

I can't say that this would be remotely attractive on a man

What percentage of men are polished, exercising daily or near daily, very toned.. compared to women?

(on average, my female friends tend to be just as sporty as men, and it's not that rare)

@therocinante

Are you definitely straight? Not a jokey pass-agg question, a genuine one! I realised I was bi when I fancied just as many (if not more) women than men.

Otherwise... maybe you're just fussy, which is no bad thing! I'm attracted to a very particular quality in men I'd find it hard to describe except I know it when I encounter it. It's nothing to do with looks, so I can't say I'm attracted to many men on the street. I find the same attractive in women, but I find more women immediately visually attractive.

I was genuinely thinking the same.

You don't need to label your sexuality if you don't want to, and being sexually attracted to women does not necessarily mean you want a relationship with a woman.

Pretty sure I’m straight, I never fancy women/am sexually attracted to them. I just can recognise that they are beautiful-and I find it’s more common I notice beauty in women than men

I would have agreed with you a couple of decades ago but am now in my 40s and would say I see lots of men my age who wear a suit everyday and do sport and look great. Whereas a lot of women my age look out of shape and less well put together.This is not meant to be unfair it comes from prioritising children and family I think

I’m like this (married now for over a decade), I’ve only ever found a handful of men sexually attractive and perhaps two of them were what would be thought of as conventionally handsome. I’m not often physically attracted to men and when I am it tends to be after I have got to know them. I agree that I see a lot more conventionally attractive women everyday (and like OP am definitely straight, no sexual interest in women at all).

Women wear make up.

@znaika

I would have agreed with you a couple of decades ago but am now in my 40s and would say I see lots of men my age who wear a suit everyday and do sport and look great. Whereas a lot of women my age look out of shape and less well put together.This is not meant to be unfair it comes from prioritising children and family I think

I think that could be true, many men get better looking with age whereas attractiveness in women is more strongly associated with youth (unfortunately-probably due to a mixture of evolution/biology and sexism in society).

Depends where you are and your type. Go to Greece, Italy and Spain and there are so many good looking men imo

I think women are generally more attractive/scrub up/dress better than men. At the school gates there are definitely more attractive women than men - women do middle age better than men I think.

But I do see men I fancy quite often - the consultant I saw at the hospital yesterday being the latest. I am single though and quite (in fact completely) sex deprived so maybe that's why.

@Comedycook

Depends where you are and your type. Go to Greece, Italy and Spain and there are so many good looking men imo

Good point- I saw lots more attractive men in Scandinavia. And if I moved to Ireland I’d probably want to shag any guy who spoke to me with that accent.

I find the opposite. Elegant and well put together women in their 70s abound. Good looking rugged men in their 40s and 50s and the equivalent cohort for women is overweight and 'practical' looking

I agree but I think the UK is low on really good looking older men who are well educated and well dressed. Lots of continental cities have tall slim silver foxes with snappy suits and good shoes, excellent jawlines , nice aftershave, beautiful manners and enthralling conversation. Straight aswell. Here in the uk ,men generally morph from porn obsessed gym bunny lager louts, into beer bellied bald polyester clad grunters with a wanking death grip and lidl underpants.The middle ground is kind of sparse.

@Comedycook

Depends where you are and your type. Go to Greece, Italy and Spain and there are so many good looking men imo

It's debatable, I prefer tall men and they are not the majority in the South.

@Heelsofsteel

I agree but I think the UK is low on really good looking older men who are well educated and well dressed. Lots of continental cities have tall slim silver foxes with snappy suits and good shoes, excellent jawlines , nice aftershave, beautiful manners and enthralling conversation. Straight aswell. Here in the uk ,men generally morph from porn obsessed gym bunny lager louts, into beer bellied bald polyester clad grunters with a wanking death grip and lidl underpants.The middle ground is kind of sparse.

😂

I don't know where you live, but in your shoes I'd move!

None of those where I live, or where I work (thank god).

Good point- I saw lots more attractive men in Scandinavia. And if I moved to Ireland I’d probably want to shag any guy who spoke to me with that accent

This!!