To think attractive men are a rare thing?

[Strawberryshitfest]

I’ve been single for a lot of my life/only had a couple of relationships. I find it quite rare to meet or even see in the street a man I find attractive, whereas there are stunning women everywhere (I’m straight). I meet more women due to my job, but it seems that the average woman is better looking than the average man.
Even when I meet someone I find handsome/good looking, I often don’t find I’m attracted to them (I can appreciate they are good looking but something about their personality/mannerism/anything really puts me off). 2 of the 3 relationships I have had I’ve started off friends and only found my self attracted to the person after getting to know them. Only once have I met a guy and been instantly attracted to him and ended up in a relationship. Very occasionally (probably 5ish times) I’ve met other men and been really attracted to them (looks, voice, first impression of personality). But on average I find about 90%+ of the men I meet don’t do it for me at all. Is this normal or am I too fussy? How often do you meet a man you find attractive (whether you’re single or not).

@Comedycook

what would they say about us though?

Oh I'd rather not know!!

Neither would I 😅

I think from when I was growing up the guys have more style about them now. Better dressed, hairstyles etc… rather than a stuck down gel fringe of the 90’s, checked shirt and sized jeans.

The guys in their 20’s in my opinion look more attractive/appealing than when I was younger.

The females look more attractive these days too. When I thunk of what we looked like at 18-20, hair straightens weren’t widely spread back then. They just have a finesse now that make them look more attractive.

Obviously regarding photos and filters on social media, I wouldn’t pay too much attention to those as they are so edited. I’m taking about people you see on the street.

I also think people are more in to their fitness these days which makes them look better. And when you think of the celebs like Jenifer that are style icons and how they dress compared to how women in mid fifties would dress about 30 years that plays apart too. Having long hair is more a youthful trait and more women over 50 have long hair these days.

All of the above makes people more attractive imo.

I meet more women due to my job, but it seems that the average woman is better looking than the average man.

Not really a fair comparison if there's loads of make up and all kinds of cosmetics with one sex and not the other.

I also agree that I find more women attractive than men but in a appreciative way, not a sexual way.

I think there are more striking women than there are men.

Take that guy off love island. Brad I think. Now I would say he is strikingingly attractive. I would think most people would think he’s certainly an attractive man. I don’t think most men have that striking look.

The age range I'm interested in is 30's I see plenty of attractive men in that age bracket but far less I could I actually fancied, I'm early 40's I don't find any older men than me attractive at all.

I’d say when I was younger I thought quite a lot of men my age were attractive. Now I’m in my 50’s the amount of attractive men are vanishingly rare. It does not help that men my age all think they’re as attractive as film stars and smugness puts me right off.

We once had an unexpected snowstorm at work and I asked a man who lives two streets away if I could possibly get a lift with him and he said it wouldn’t be convenient. I was told the next day that he’d been saying I was trying to get him alone as I clearly fancied him. He’s not attractive to me (or I suspect most women) in the slightest. That sort of behaviour is rampant (the over-confidence of balding portly men, not me asking for lifts in snowstorms).

I really think you must live in a parallel universe to me op. I don't go around oggling men, but I see as many attractive men as there are women around. That is on a purely physical basis of course. If I get to know someone it is definitely their personality that sorts the wheat from the chaff. Having been happily married for 35 years it's not something I think about overly though.

Why do they have to be 'stop dead in the streets attractive?

An ex of mine was so bloody good looking, I'll admit that the sex was great. But he was thick as mince and aggressive if he felt somebody was smarter than him - he'd target them and behave like a 13 year old with comments on their appearance, sexuality,

DP on the other hand, is 'normal'. He is short, bald and when I met him, about the size of a teenager. But we spent our first dates talking about Medieval architecture, music, insects, birds, trees and totally random shite that I would never have been allowed to speak of in the presence of ^^. And, more to the point, there would be a little, shy half smile and then he'd say something that would absolutely double me up with laughter.

He's now short, bald, tanned and stacked because he started going to the gym and eating to fuel it. I think he looks great - but it's still the half smile and look in his eyes that gets me every time. And when the Dartmoor is strong in him.

My daughter is internet dataing and I am sometimes asked to go through her matches. Honestly there are loads of good looking men out there, however there is usually something off putting about what they say or how they present themselves.

stunning women everywhere

Depends what knocks you out :-)

I just despair to see groups of younger women out together, who look barely distinguishable from each other. It's as if they've been cloned ; the long hair, daft eyebrows, nails, botox lips, spraytan. Why model yourself on an inflatable plastic doll?

OP I could have written your post myself. I’ve been single for about 5 years post divorce and just don’t find many men attractive at all. Like you, I tend to need to get to know people first and then I might realise I’m attracted to them. Totally agree it makes modern dating virtually impossible!

I don't find men very attractive either, and i'm straight, the last time I fancied someone was about 4 years ago but he put me off because he seemed like a womaniser. I wonder if it's a hormonal thing - i'm mid forties and don't even get any sexual urges any more. I sort of feel a bit dead inside. Sometimes i'd be excited just to have a crush on someone even if I didn't have anything to do with them. At least it would give me a bit of zing inside. There seem to be loads of attractive women though, sometimes I wish I was gay.

Do you really never see good looking men? Not necessarily fancying them, but just nice looking? Even younger ones?

I think the majority of people are fairly plain looking in general, but women tend to more often dress better and take more care of their appearance, but i see plenty of nice looking men as well as women

I work in London and it’s full of gorgeous men. But my Hampshire born DH is absolutely beautiful! I could stare at him all day, and apparently other women clearly feel the same! I guess it depends a lot on where you live.

I don’t think women are necessarily better looking than men, they just scrub up better 🤷🏻‍♀️

I very rarely see any men I fancy, but I don’t fancy the typical good looking men like the Love Island lot! For me attractiveness comes from having that something extra like a great personality, even a great smell!! Probably why I fail so much at OLD!

I totally agree with the PP about ovulation, my ovulation crush is someone I occasionally work with. Rest of the month I have no interest in him, but when ovulating I could crawl through nettles to lick his face

@znaika - having grey hair does not mean you have let yourself go!

@MeowPurrGrr crawl through nettles to lick his face 🤣

This is definitely me at that time of the month!

@Heelsofsteel

I agree but I think the UK is low on really good looking older men who are well educated and well dressed. Lots of continental cities have tall slim silver foxes with snappy suits and good shoes, excellent jawlines , nice aftershave, beautiful manners and enthralling conversation. Straight aswell. Here in the uk ,men generally morph from porn obsessed gym bunny lager louts, into beer bellied bald polyester clad grunters with a wanking death grip and lidl underpants.The middle ground is kind of sparse.

Haha, this gave me a good laugh.

Agree re UK men. When I'm abroad I'm in heaven.

I never fancy anyone till I know them.
I've had what people would term good looking partners and what people wouldn't.

I can look at people and see they are attractive etc but I don't fancy them until I get to know them. Till I click with them if that makes sense

[quote WeAreTheHeroes]@znaika - having grey hair does not mean you have let yourself go![/quote]
Absolutely that!

You can find thousands of example online

I see very good looking women and men all the time, in RL. And many actors and models are good looking.

Yes

Its evolution. Men have evolved to be providers, not sex symbols. If something changed, historically, over decades or centuries, the natural selection process might give us more pretty men.

I think men who work out look beautiful. Many professional footballers have aesthetically pleasing physiques. Probably the same goes for fitness instructors in tip top condition. Perhaps there were more appealing men during WW2 because the relentless physical training made them healthy and athletic.

I have never been to Italy, but I have always imagined there would be a large number of men who look like Giovanni.

Giovanni from Strictly.