To think attractive men are a rare thing?

[Strawberryshitfest]

I’ve been single for a lot of my life/only had a couple of relationships. I find it quite rare to meet or even see in the street a man I find attractive, whereas there are stunning women everywhere (I’m straight). I meet more women due to my job, but it seems that the average woman is better looking than the average man.
Even when I meet someone I find handsome/good looking, I often don’t find I’m attracted to them (I can appreciate they are good looking but something about their personality/mannerism/anything really puts me off). 2 of the 3 relationships I have had I’ve started off friends and only found my self attracted to the person after getting to know them. Only once have I met a guy and been instantly attracted to him and ended up in a relationship. Very occasionally (probably 5ish times) I’ve met other men and been really attracted to them (looks, voice, first impression of personality). But on average I find about 90%+ of the men I meet don’t do it for me at all. Is this normal or am I too fussy? How often do you meet a man you find attractive (whether you’re single or not).

Im russian and the men there are far from hot. The women are gorgeous (not talking about myself!). In the UK i would say its the reverse. But this might be geography dependent.

I did go to some Russian language theatre in London and it was dress down Friday at work. I was very dressed down and the Russian women were dressed like is was Anna Karenina theatre going times. I was wonderfully envious of how glam they looked. Alas, the men didn’t come in frock coats and top hats.

It's very patriarchal so the women have to look good. Sometimes too plastic but the pressure is there. I like the uk fuck it approach. Much more liberating

Generally, I agree with you.

Men are not judged on their appearance, so dont try as hard, whereas women are, hence the differing effort levels.

Whenever I spend time in the smarter parts of London though, I always see a lot of very attractive men.

I used to be like this, I'd go on dates with men handsome men and I just was never aroused or attracted to them that much. I dated them, had relationships with them because they were lovely people who I had deep platonic relationships where the sex was ok. I didn't know any better o though all sex was sorta "meh".

Then I went on a few dates with women...turns out I'm gay 😂 Not even Bisexual because it's just women I'm genuinely aroused and attracted to these days.

I'm not saying your gay op either, maybe the right bloke hasn't come about and ticked all the right boxes. But don't give up looking or you'll never find him.

I have been to Italy and there were some lovely middle aged men. They younger men and women were gorgeous but the older Italian women looked worse than the men. Same with Denmark all the older men were tall and trim and handsome but the middle aged women very plain with hair scraped back and hardly any makeup. England seems to be a mix with better looking men in more affluent areas.

I see far more attractive woman than men. I can see any girl as beautiful. I need to know a mans character before finding them attractive.

But I don’t think beautiful and attractive are the same thing.

Beautiful/pretty/handsome are all just descriptors of how someone (or something) looks. Attractive suggests a response on the part of the looker. It’s active because we are attracted.

@Smokeymirror

I have been to Italy and there were some lovely middle aged men. They younger men and women were gorgeous but the older Italian women looked worse than the men. Same with Denmark all the older men were tall and trim and handsome but the middle aged women very plain with hair scraped back and hardly any makeup. England seems to be a mix with better looking men in more affluent areas.

Denmark must have the highest percentage of hot men anywhere in the world, and they age well.

Your comment about finding "the middle aged women very plain with hair scraped back and hardly any makeup" is interesting in light of posters saying that there are so many more attractive women than men. How much of what we see as female attractiveness is down to make up, hair styling and general grooming?

^indeed. It was a few years ago now but the women seemed much more natural there. Yes the Scandi men are all very attractive.

There are definitely more good looking women than men.

Gently, and I say this as a lesbian - are you sure you're straight? I had very similar thoughts and then realised I was gay.

@Heelsofsteel

I agree but I think the UK is low on really good looking older men who are well educated and well dressed. Lots of continental cities have tall slim silver foxes with snappy suits and good shoes, excellent jawlines , nice aftershave, beautiful manners and enthralling conversation. Straight aswell. Here in the uk ,men generally morph from porn obsessed gym bunny lager louts, into beer bellied bald polyester clad grunters with a wanking death grip and lidl underpants.The middle ground is kind of sparse.

🤣🤣🤣

When I lived in Germany I saw attractive men all the time. Not so much now I’ve moved back to the UK! Very disappointing 😂

Patriarchy innit

Women are valued for their looks above all else and so are motivated to maintain them/ look the best they can. We get told 'don't let yourself go dear or he'll look elsewhere'

Men are valued for their career success and other stuff. They are far less judged on their looks so they don't bother trying to look good. They don't need to. Plenty of rich powerful older men with beautiful younger wives to prove the point. Donald Trump and Melania a case in point

How old are you?

When I turned 40 I noticed that suddenly the men my age in the main kind of went off s cliff.

The women are way more attractive- all those years of getting the message that what we look like is the be all and end all makes a difference. Not one that is probably worth it but nevertheless.

I've always dated men younger than me so it's not a problem :)

'Men are valued for their career success and other stuff. They are far less judged on their looks so they don't bother trying to look good. They don't need to. Plenty of rich powerful older men with beautiful younger wives to prove the point. Donald Trump and Melania a case in point'

Most people aren't as rich as trump or have had a modelling career like Melania!

If you can get to be financially secure then you can choose....

Also plenty of women wouldn't want to go out with the sort of men who want a much younger trophy wife iyswim.

Down amongst us mortals most people seem to be with similar attractiveness, who they get on with and who have similar values.

But yes loads of men once you get to s certain age are... It's not good.

Women overall do seem to look better but stunning women everywhere? I doubt that very much.

Since marrying DH 22 years ago I can say I have seen in real life five men who have been what I consider attractive.

Another one who only sees attractive men when ovulating.

The rest of the time they're just filthy beasts

@Heelsofsteel

😅😅

All this talk of suited and booted men from London with chiselled cheek bones makes my poor ovaries want to cry
I want a viking! Almost as wide as he is tall, full head of hair, decent beard and little dirty looking..... if you sat one of the lads off Love Island in front of me I'd probably want to mother the poor soul because I certainly wouldn't want to do anything else with them!
What we find attractive is so personal, where I live there are very few Love Island look alikes so if that was my thing I would struggle to find it....plenty of rough and ready vikings around though

I actually completely agree with you, OP. I'm very straight (I've tried the other way - didn't agree with me!) and I rarely find men actually attractive, even when I can tell they are good looking.

JustGiveMeGin
I completely agree, and if these vikings were in kilts so much the better!
Please let us know where you are!

@ShitPoetryClub small northern town the London trend for polished men completely passed us by....lots of rural types and labourers around here, the job prospects are shite but if you like a man that's a little rough around the edges then this is the place to be