To buy a new outfit for every play date?

[Summertimelostitsshine]

For my toddler Dd? Nothing fancy, just something lovely from baby Zara, for example.
I also sort of buy her new outfits to match places/the colours where we are going, to look aesthetically pleasing in Instagram photos etc..I’m weird, aren’t I 😬

more the colours of the outfits to match backgrounds etc

So camoflage and she likes baby tutus? Anything like this?

@kindaclassy

special events deserve special clothes, food etc

playdates are not special events that warrant a new outfit every time.
And OP knows this.
🤷‍♀️

@Summertimelostitsshine

Ok 🙈so..she doesn’t go on play dates very often, especially the last year..so once or twice per month. The outfits aren’t worn only once, they’re worn lots. Never never awful things like leather jackets and frilly dresses, comfortable and cute really. I don’t mind if they get dirty, well, I don’t love it, but have come to accept that clothes get wrecked quickly! All her clothes get messy fairly quickly and look old, so when I have a play date, I get emerging new. I also buy or have sending hand from friends and pass my clothes on to charities when too small. I might for example put her in a long, white dress if we’re going to old type buildings, so we can get some stunning photos. I don’t always do this, but it’s sort of there at the back of my mind, on occasion. I think lots more do this than they’ll admit. My girl is general pretty feral in bare feet and shorts and t-shirts at home

This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever read.

@Summertimelostitsshine

I’m not very young, but obviously coming across that way. Didn’t expect some very personal comments. I adore my daughter and don’t use her as a prop or any such thing, the idea of that is really upsetting to me. I’m not wasteful with clothes, she’s in old clothes the majority of the time and needs new clothes buying anyway on a regular basis as she’s growing so quickly. I just enjoy kids clothes and buying things for her, I’m the same with books for her and spend a fortune when I really shouldn’t and have had to cut back. It’s something I just enjoy and if I thought was damaging her in any way, I would stop immediately. I appreciate differences in opinion but not personal, nasty comments

So what was the reason for posting? Especially in AIBU

@NannyOgg

🤣

that's because you didn't read the cervical mucus plug eating troll thread about 7 years ago.
it was my personal favourite
I wish it hadn't been zapped.

[quote ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba]@kindaclassy

special events deserve special clothes, food etc

playdates are not special events that warrant a new outfit every time.
And OP knows this.
🤷‍♀️[/quote]
that's clearly your opinion, why do you think everybody should agree with you?

Some people put more importance than others, and don't stick to just "wedding photos".

Why does it bother you so much?

I've never bought outfits for weddings, just put my kids in whatever smart clothes was the most appropriate. So I am free to judge you?

@kindaclassy

a, where did I say expect everyone to agree with me?
go on, quote it

b, who said I care so much?
I'm waiting for the kettle to boil. 🤷‍♀️

I might for example put her in a long, white dress if we’re going to old type buildings, so we can get some stunning photos.

You sound like you are maybe a bit obsessed with your social media image, which is not healthy. Your daughter is not bloody Instagram prop, she's a living, breathing child.

Put it this way. The reasons why you dress her in shorts and t shirts at home ( when no one is looking ) are the same reasons why those are probably also the most suitable thing for her to wear when visiting "old type buildings".

If she is comfortable, you don’t prevent her doing things, you can afford it and it brings you joy then there is no harm in it. Slightly odd. But harmless enough.

I kind of get the “photo opportunity” thing. To an extent.

When DS was about 4 we went to a local NT property. I knew they had costumes there as we had been there with my daughters years before (they are a fair bit older). I dressed DS in a white grandad collar shirt and pale cords and we have lots of lovely photos of him with the costumes over his basic outfit looking variously like a cross between a pirate, a medieval prince and a boy soldier. We went on a mid week day. Had the place virtually fo ourselves and my older DDs were really up for helping me set the scene. They are great photos. Look like a professional photo shoot. It’s not something I’d have the mental or practical energy to make a habit of though!

YANBU - your money, your kid.

Is it weird - absolutely! Our days out can be spontaneous and if I'm taking photos it's because my DC look happy rather than "aesthetically pleasing" 🤔

@ZingDramaQueenofSheba - play dates aren't a special occasion for most people because they are something that happens lots and are low key.

But for the OP they don't happen often so are her special occasions. As I said earlier, when my dcs were toddler we did playdates a couple of times a week. If its the only time your dc meets up with another child in a month, then I can see why it would feel more special.

OP - if meeting up with others is unusual, then fine, pick a nice outfit.

Heres hoping for a summer so full of playdates, you and your DD stop feeling they are special occasions.

Apparently it's not weird to have a photo shoot with a professional and wear specific clothes for that.

I dunno, I think that's pretty weird too. We have never done professional photos shoots of the children and I always find the notion a bit affected/image obsessed. The photos we have in the house are just family snapshots on holiday etc - it doesnt matter if the children look perfectly posed, they just look like our lovely children having a lovely time on holiday.

@SheldonesqueTheBstard

It’s like being thrown to a pack of wolves, they all dive in.

Not thrown, no.

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba

you are the one making statements such as
special events deserve special clothes, food etc

that's your opinion...

And I should have added DS really enjoyed every minute. He loved dressing up (still does aged 10), loved posing for photos and enjoyed the attention of his sisters. The moment he stopped enjoying it we would have stopped. So I suppose the ultimate question is whether your DD finds it fun?

I generally keep a couple of tshirts and socks fresh/new/themed for DS for play dates or days out so he doesn't look scruffy.

Then they go into the daily wear pile, then they get passed on.

He's my only living child, I like him to look nice. Clean, fresh and ironed, especially if we're going somewhere, at least on arrival, not necessarily for photos, just because.

Let us see your Instagram please ???!!!!

New clothes for a play date meh upto you whatever floats your boat.
But dressing her up for pictures on Instagram is awful.
I still suffer now with anorexia low self worth etc due in part to having a mum who liked to dress me up and have me look a certain way and loved nothing better than a staged picture

Stop putting your child on social media and dressing her up for it.

@C8H10N4O2

She chose the white dress. It’s actually not my style as I’m not into dresses really, it’s long, cotton and loose, perfect for the heat where we are

First it was for looks. Then it was because of the hot climate. Then it was because it fitted with the image of the old building. Now she chose it.

Should we draw up a shortlist or just start a sweepstake?

Be fair. The OP is back-pedalling as fast as she can. Cut her some slack.

I am just hanging a glitterball here for ambiance

Superficial yes, weird no.

oh come on, people have dressed up their kids and made them pose for photos since photography started.

People need to unclench a bit. Kids don't care!

Lots of people have odd foibles and things they like to do.

Yours is quite weird to many.

Totally normal to lots of insta people.

For me it's somewhere in the middle. A new outfit is fine if you have the money and it's not daily.

Colour co ordinated is fine. I like colour conordination. Cant say I've ever gone as far as matching decor of soft play though 🤣