To resent those with easier children?

[stilltiredinthemorning]

And really feel like they don't get it AT ALL!!!?

My kids are brilliant and I love them to death but they are pretty challenging. My daughter (5) is a little delayed in most areas of her development and is also quite anxious (probably as a consequence) as a result school is quite challenging for her and she struggles socially. My son (3) seems pretty bright, but is VERY high energy, never does what he's told and seems to break everything he touches.

They may well end up with a diagnosis or 2 (I work in paediatrics myself) but for now it's too early to tell and that's not really the point.

What is driving me a bit crazy is that everyone I know seems to constantly bang on about how hard parenthood is when their children are obviously a breeze in comparison. I know every child has their moments, but really, they are having an entirely different parenting experience.

Most of my friends, like me, are older parents and middle class. They blatantly think that their children's academic ease, steady behaviour etc. etc. is down to their parenting but I know from experience (from my job) it's mainly the luck of the draw. We are so careful with our parenting and work so hard to be gentle and consistent and keep a steady routine and a healthy diet and limited screen time etc. etc. and I know it's still worth it, but our kids are still pretty difficult. I feel completely exhausted and like no one I know gets it and are completely obvious as to how much harder it is. It's actually beginning to impact on some of my friendships. Am I being an arse?

I've had a think about it and I think using the word 'easier' was a mistake. It's more that my parenting experience is so different and I feel disappointed that my friends don't seem to come even close to understanding, even when I've tried to explain. I don't mean I want everyone to feel sorry for me, it's just that when they say things like 'oh just bring them along to the meeting' or 'let's just stick em all in the garden and they can go feral while we drink wine' it's makes me realise they're not really listening.

Josette77 yes they're both adopted. I didn't mention it in my OP as I find people tend to suggest I 'try the adoption board' etc. We do have support from post adoption services etc. What I would like is to have some support from my oldest friends, who despite being highly educated people from professional backgrounds don't seem to understand that things might be a bit different from us. Yes, I can make friends with other adoptive parents etc. but I'd like to still spend time with my old friends without feeling like I live on another planet and I feel like that should be possible. It makes me feel very isolated.