Responding to people asking why I'm not wearing a mask

[PhasedRay]

I can't wear a face mask and am exempt due to having issues which make it extremely uncomfortable and difficult to wear. At the start of the pandemic I used to explain to people who asked why I can't, but I was getting some nasty comments and it's made me quite cynical. When someone asks now, I just tell them to mind their own business.

AIBU? I think that rather abrupt response probably would sound unreasonable from the perspective of someone who has just asked a single question, but I have been getting questioned (feels more like an interrogation sometimes) for nearly a year and I am just sick of it.

Wear an ‘exempt’ lanyard??

Just say 'I am exempt'. Unfortunately the 'won't wear a mask because MY RIGHTS and NO ONE IS TELLING ME WHAT TO DO!' brigade make it harder for those who genuinely have problems with mask-wearing. But no one should be hassling you about your own health problems.

One of my "friends" isn't mask exempt. She is a picture of health. Gym-goer, eats healthily, doesn't smoke.

However she can't be arsed to wear a mask because it "smudges her make up".

She has bought a lanyard, declaring her "hidden disability". It is disgusting.

I'm afraid OP that because of people like this you have had folk sticking their nose in. I'm sorry (on behalf of my friend, who would not be sorry at all).

@ Eireireland the point is that not all people with hidden disabilities CAN ask for help, but might need it.

I wear a mask, but I can’t always follow the arrows on the floor. I swear our local co-op has an aisle that is pretty much impossible to get to whilst obeying them.

On lanyards - I stopped wearing a sunflower lanyard a while ago because I heard how those for whom it had been originally conceived felt about it being taken over as a signifier of mask exemption. I now wear a simple red one printed 'mask exempt'.

However please don't blame exempt people for resorting to using it. Last summer there was a mad scramble to find a suitable, visible symbol of exemption given there was no official one. My doctor told me to use a sunflower lanyard - I'd never heard of them until that point. I hope that they can go back to their original use.

In answer to your question OP - I've never been asked by staff anywhere why I'm exempt. If a member of the public asks and they're not being a dick about it (for example, a lady who regularly uses the same bus as me asked, in conversation) I'll happily tell them about my condition as it's rare and the more people who find out about it, the better. If it's just some nosy/aggressive/sanctimonious twat I tell them my medical history is none of their business.

@CrouchEndTiger12

Something along the lines of

I'm not wearing any knickers either

That will shut them right up

I'm stealing this

I've worn a mask when required to go the right thing but I wouldn't dream of asking anyone else why they don't. I have however had my doubts about genuine reasons when I've seen 3-4 adults together and neither wearing a mask but again , wouldn't bother asking why because frankly I don't care why. Each to their own .

You've lasted thus far and in a few days' time masks will no longer be mandatory, so I wouldn't worry.

Just say that you’re not about to perform surgery so aren’t wearing a mask.

@Thebig3

Do you wear a sunflower lanyard? I know you don't have to but I have started wearing one (in a very similar situation to you) and since then no ones says anything.

I've just found it a lot easier to be honest

I was going to suggest this.

I work in an ED department , no matter what your exemption is , it is hospital policy to wear something , we have face masks and visors. I find most people, even if exempt, are only too willing to give it a go and if they can’t , there is a visor. We are very grateful to most people who see the value of that and want to help as much as they can. Very few people refuse and at least try it.

I just can't imagine going up to anyone and questioning them. It's got nothing to do with me. I used to work in food retail and we had some customers who thought they were the mask police, if they weren't confronting a non-mask wearer themselves they would be marching up to customer services and demanding we went to speak to them (which we refused to do).

Start coughing and say “I just can’t shake off this cough and now I can’t smell anything either !! They’ll soon move🤣

@Julia001

I work in an ED department , no matter what your exemption is , it is hospital policy to wear something , we have face masks and visors. I find most people, even if exempt, are only too willing to give it a go and if they can’t , there is a visor. We are very grateful to most people who see the value of that and want to help as much as they can. Very few people refuse and at least try it.

I've had a few hospital appointments and I've never been told I have to wear something. In fact staff have been lovely when I've been apologetic, and I've encountered a few who are exempt themselves.

Just in case anyone with an upcoming hospital appointment reads this and is concerned.

@ResIpsaLoquiturInterAlia there's no such thing as a diagnosis of being medically exempt.

Also if somebody is aggressively demanding a stranger's personal medical history, I'd suggest it was them drawing attention to themselves. And I highly doubt that a vulnerable person would be getting close enough to an unmasked person to grill them about their medical record in the first place.

Masks are a courtesy to others, to prevent YOU spreading Covid - or anything else for that matter - to those around you. If you can wear one, and many do happily, then continuing to do so, shows your care and concern for others. If you can't be bothered then so be it - you're simply demonstrating your own selfishness, which sadly seems so prevalent in this country these days.

@araminta27

Masks are a courtesy to others, to prevent YOU spreading Covid - or anything else for that matter - to those around you. If you can wear one, and many do happily, then continuing to do so, shows your care and concern for others. If you can't be bothered then so be it - you're simply demonstrating your own selfishness, which sadly seems so prevalent in this country these days.

As long as you understand the difference between 'can't' and 'can't be bothered'. The OP (and others on this thread) fall into the former category.

I am talking about the ED that I work in , I can’t speak for the rest of the hospital or other hospitals.

Here's the thing - you aren't exempt from passing on the virus - so what can you expect - surely you could at least wear a perspex shield to avoid passing the infection on to others - I don't care why others don't have a mask on I only care about not catching the virus - & possibly dying or getting long Covid - so I avoid you all and I don't care how you feel about all this

I've heard about the mask rumours for the next 3-5 years. If the science supports the proposal sounds like a good idea tbh. They will be worn during things like Flu season to help protect us vulnerable. Not sure if there will be any official ID to go with it although doubt it as the vaccine passport thing didn't go through either due to various concerns that are always, and rightfully, highlighted.

If I could I would. I am more than aware of the risks I am taking when I go outside. I don't look at the mask wearers and automatically assume that they are doing it for the benefit of others.

So why do some masked people look at the unmasked and automatically think they are germ laden piss takers?

How comes you don't harass other mask wearers who are wearing some manky bit of cloth over the face, and wearing it wrong?

How comes you don't chase some of the mask wearers around with antibac?

Lecture them on when to change them?

Run away when the mask is wet?

How comes you don't call them selfish granny killers?

Do non mask wearers (for whatever reason) accept that shops are usually private property, and the shop can lawfully prohibit them from entering? Most shops won't, because they'd rather have the custom. But how would a non mask wearer react to being forbidden entry to a shop, or asked to leave once inside?

THe shields are only good if used in conjunction with a mask.
If they could be worn alone it would allow those medical people who cannot wear a mask the opportunity to work in the theatre.

@Bertiebiscuit

Here's the thing - you aren't exempt from passing on the virus - so what can you expect - surely you could at least wear a perspex shield to avoid passing the infection on to others - I don't care why others don't have a mask on I only care about not catching the virus - & possibly dying or getting long Covid - so I avoid you all and I don't care how you feel about all this

That's fine - I always observe social distancing so no problems with avoiding each other! Incidentally many who can't wear masks can't wear visors, either (the government has said they shouldn't be worn without masks anyway, due to their inefficiency when worn alone).

@Galdos

Do non mask wearers (for whatever reason) accept that shops are usually private property, and the shop can lawfully prohibit them from entering? Most shops won't, because they'd rather have the custom. But how would a non mask wearer react to being forbidden entry to a shop, or asked to leave once inside?

Most shop owners understand that discriminating against disabled people/those with health conditions is a) illegal and b) unpopular, from a business point of view.

I've never had any comments from retail staff, they've all been lovely. Many shops have tannoy announcements reminding shoppers that some people are exempt and to be understanding, which is very much appreciated.