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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Responding to people asking why I'm not wearing a mask

309 replies

PhasedRay · 03/07/2021 19:09

I can't wear a face mask and am exempt due to having issues which make it extremely uncomfortable and difficult to wear. At the start of the pandemic I used to explain to people who asked why I can't, but I was getting some nasty comments and it's made me quite cynical. When someone asks now, I just tell them to mind their own business.

AIBU? I think that rather abrupt response probably would sound unreasonable from the perspective of someone who has just asked a single question, but I have been getting questioned (feels more like an interrogation sometimes) for nearly a year and I am just sick of it.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 03/07/2021 23:59

@LibertyMole

Half the people I meet aren’t wearing masks anymore anyway, so hopefully the questioning will get less.
Same.

They just swan into pubs, restaurants and supermarkets, wave their hands dismissively and say 'exempt' if questioned by staff on the door.

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 04/07/2021 00:02

"you have no legal right to ask"

"it's none of your business"

"if I tell you I'll have to kill you"

Sweettea1 · 04/07/2021 00:05

I've never been asked why I don't wear one and if I was I'd say because once again I forgot the stupid thing.

ResIpsaLoquiturInterAlia · 04/07/2021 00:08

The uniquely British selfish one sided short sighted self declared self diagnosed exceptionalism entitlement by definition misses the whole point that in an invisible viral pandemic - people are scared of in person close proximity transmission. Do all non mask wearers question each other as to current Covid status in case of "inadvertent" continued spreading? Do any badge offer a sense of protection from infection? Globally most peer reviewed respected science suggest it is more likely silent spreading is done by those that least risk mitigate infection and onwards transmission. Wearing a fresh clean mask properly covering the mouth and nose along with other risk mitigation measures help. Masks seemingly helps surgeons doing high concentration critical work for hours on end and also worn globally in hot climates without fuss.

Perhaps mask exempt is NOT virus exempt?

www.thelancet.com/journals/landig/article/PIIS2589-7500(20)30293-4/fulltext

Blinky21 · 04/07/2021 00:10

Get a lanyard or wear a visor, easy!

Eireireland · 04/07/2021 00:14

[quote ResIpsaLoquiturInterAlia]The uniquely British selfish one sided short sighted self declared self diagnosed exceptionalism entitlement by definition misses the whole point that in an invisible viral pandemic - people are scared of in person close proximity transmission. Do all non mask wearers question each other as to current Covid status in case of "inadvertent" continued spreading? Do any badge offer a sense of protection from infection? Globally most peer reviewed respected science suggest it is more likely silent spreading is done by those that least risk mitigate infection and onwards transmission. Wearing a fresh clean mask properly covering the mouth and nose along with other risk mitigation measures help. Masks seemingly helps surgeons doing high concentration critical work for hours on end and also worn globally in hot climates without fuss.

Perhaps mask exempt is NOT virus exempt?

www.thelancet.com/journals/landig/article/PIIS2589-7500(20)30293-4/fulltext[/quote]
Surgeons wear a mask in a controlled area, they are using one mask in a sterile area and remove it straight after. They wash their hands etc. The mask is to protect the patient and also the surgeon.

Don’t confuse a blue mask with one in a hospital environment.

3scape · 04/07/2021 00:15

If someone asks and they're not monitoring visitors to a shop or venue then surely ignoring them is the way to go. Someone asking as a part of their job then it's just a new social transaction where only a wanker would be rude to someone in a customer facing role? It's not a comicated situation.

Blue4YOU · 04/07/2021 00:16

For fuck’s sake. We don’t all live as massive covid spreaders who want to take down the rest of the world.
A non mask wearer who, for instance, has had some of the horrendous sexual violence perpetrated doesn’t and shouldn’t have to account to the general public for not being able to handle mask-wearing.
Just because someone isn’t wearing a mask doesn’t mean they are spreading the virus …
And I wear a mask but my very vulnerable child cannot.
The real risk is in enclosed spaces - hospitals, care homes etc. And if most people are vaccinated…?
I mean, when does this self-policing stop?

BritWifeInUSA · 04/07/2021 00:18

Just walk away. Don’t engage with them. The longer Hoi stabd in front of them going into detail, the more you are defeating the object.

Masks have been scrapped here. Thank goodness. Nothing caused more animosity and arguing than those bloody masks.

animau · 04/07/2021 00:19

[quote ResIpsaLoquiturInterAlia]The uniquely British selfish one sided short sighted self declared self diagnosed exceptionalism entitlement by definition misses the whole point that in an invisible viral pandemic - people are scared of in person close proximity transmission. Do all non mask wearers question each other as to current Covid status in case of "inadvertent" continued spreading? Do any badge offer a sense of protection from infection? Globally most peer reviewed respected science suggest it is more likely silent spreading is done by those that least risk mitigate infection and onwards transmission. Wearing a fresh clean mask properly covering the mouth and nose along with other risk mitigation measures help. Masks seemingly helps surgeons doing high concentration critical work for hours on end and also worn globally in hot climates without fuss.

Perhaps mask exempt is NOT virus exempt?

www.thelancet.com/journals/landig/article/PIIS2589-7500(20)30293-4/fulltext[/quote]
^
Agreed 👍

motogogo · 04/07/2021 00:24

Half the bus weren't wearing them (around 70 passengers on board) they didn't all have hidden disabilities I'm sure. There's no issue with not wearing one now. I do request people put one on at work because I don't want to isolate! (If they don't want to they can tell me why they are visiting from outside or ring!)

Maggiesfarm · 04/07/2021 00:24

People should accept that some others are exempt from wearing a mask. They don't have to be right next to you if they are uncertain. I feel sad about this and sympathise, but aren't you glad it is coming to an end at last? In a short while (we hope), everyone will be vaccinated and mask wearing no longer mandatory.

Viviennemary · 04/07/2021 00:26

Anyway soon nobody will have to wear a mask. Thank goodness.

FlyingBattie · 04/07/2021 00:29

Unless it's the police you don't need to answer their questions, how dare people think they can question you or anybody!

Bet they wouldn't question a man (sorry I am assuming your sex OP but it does always seem to be women getting quizzed!)

memberofthewedding · 04/07/2021 00:30

"Im exempt" is a short complete answer. If asked why "Mind your own fucking business" is another short complete answer.

I dont discuss my business with random oiks.

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 04/07/2021 00:36

@tiredanddangerous

Sunflower lanyards are for people who have a disability. Not for people who've decided they can't wear a mask Hmm
Not true.

They're for people who are unable to wear masks.

Disabled people don't need marks or statements to say they're disabled.

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 04/07/2021 00:37

BTW "Mind your own business" is the perfect response

XenoBitch · 04/07/2021 00:38

Tell them to mind their own business. Shoppers and members of the public have no right to even challenge you about it.
I have had other shoppers get snotty with me (one man told me we were still in lockdown because of people like me that don't wear a mask).

I have had a few hospital appointments recently, also being in ambulances, cop cars and taxis. I was not asked about wearing a mask once. I did try a visor for one appointment, but was told to remove it as they are totally useless (plus I struggled enough with that anyway).

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 04/07/2021 00:38

@tiredanddangerous

tiredanddangerous they are for anyone who fancies getting one from Tesco, free of charge and no questions asked

But their intended use is for people with hidden disabilities. They've been hijacked by people who don't think they should have to wear a mask. I have a hidden disability, as does my dd, and it's fucking irritating.

With all due respect, how do you know people wearing them aren't disabled?
XenoBitch · 04/07/2021 00:40

*Not true.

They're for people who are unable to wear masks.

Disabled people don't need marks or statements to say they're disabled*

No, the sunflower lanyard scheme is nothing to do with masks. It has been about for years (so definitely pre-Covid and masks). It is to signify the wearer might need some extra support and/or time.... so absolutely is for people with hidden disabilities.

hiddendisabilitiesstore.com/about-hidden-disabilities-sunflower

JoveWhenHeSawMyFannysFace · 04/07/2021 00:42

Not true.

They're for people who are unable to wear masks.

Disabled people don't need marks or statements to say they're disabled.

They’re for people with hidden disabilities if they choose to wear one - been around long before the pandemic. Somehow they’ve been co-opted to mean “mask exempt”.

greenlynx · 04/07/2021 00:44

I would calmly and politely answer that you are exempt for medical reasons and then move away whenever possible. No one has right to know details of your medical history.
My DD is exempt but can tolerate light mask for short periods of time so usually wear it in shops, etc. However she would struggle to wear it for longer periods like 2-3 hours so this would be her/my answer.

The problem is that too many people are not wearing masks in shops and on public transport. I don’t challenge them of course, but I honestly struggle to believe that they all are exempt.

FlyingBattie · 04/07/2021 00:50

The problem is that too many people are not wearing masks in shops and on public transport. I don’t challenge them of course, but I honestly struggle to believe that they all are exempt

I do think this is the issue. I have never once challenged anybody, of course, but my last bus trip had 12 passengers- just four wearing masks. I don't believe that 66% of people can be exempt. And the ones taking the piss empower other people to think they can challenge anyone they want to.

MercyBooth · 04/07/2021 01:06

Saw a bloke today i havent seen for ages. Not since pre Covid. He started going on and on about how no one should have an excuse not to wear one. And that he would make them if he could.
His ex wife had to flee to a refuge a few years back. There are a few abusive control freaks who are really enjoying this.

Husbandno4 · 04/07/2021 01:14

@tiredanddangerous

Sunflower lanyards are for people who have a disability. Not for people who've decided they can't wear a mask Hmm
This