Responding to people asking why I'm not wearing a mask

[PhasedRay]

I can't wear a face mask and am exempt due to having issues which make it extremely uncomfortable and difficult to wear. At the start of the pandemic I used to explain to people who asked why I can't, but I was getting some nasty comments and it's made me quite cynical. When someone asks now, I just tell them to mind their own business.

AIBU? I think that rather abrupt response probably would sound unreasonable from the perspective of someone who has just asked a single question, but I have been getting questioned (feels more like an interrogation sometimes) for nearly a year and I am just sick of it.

I get that but I genuinely don't think that many of the no makers are in that situation. I was raped as a teenager, not gagged but certainly do have things I don't want to revisit. Across the world people wear masks without having to label themselves.

These threads are always the same - full of ableist posts.

My teenage DD is exempt. She does wear a lanyard but gets grief a lot (I say “grief” but it’s really abuse and harassment) - I suspect the reason she gets the grief is because she’s a young teenage girl. These people are never brave enough to do when she’s out with us or with her friends.

She indicates her lanyard, but when pressed she bursts into tears and scuttles away as someone usually calls her a selfish cunt in their next breath. It’s never shop staff or security guards - only random members of the public.

She has Tourette’s and masks exacerbate her self-injurious tics. The last time she tried to wear one for a few minutes, she head butted a metal bar and knocked herself out.

I've no problem with people claiming exemptions, but I do have a problem with them when they won't respect social distancing, etc.

Roll on the 19th, looking forward to only have to deal with nosy people when we park in a blue badge spot.

And the lanyard shouldn't have been appropriated in the way it was. I have hidden disabilities, but I could easily seem out help when needed, and engage without any impediment.

I'm not building my hopes up for the 19th. How true it is I don't know, but
I heard we might have to have them for another 5 years.

Just say because you don't want to, like the majority of mask refusers, who cares!

I tell them to get fucked.

What is the point of the lanyards? If you need extra assistance wouldn’t you just ask for it?

There are hundreds of reasons why people with disabilities might not be able to "just ask", hence the need to alert others in a non-verbal way to the fact they might require support.

I find it odd that you can think of no possible circumstance under which someone might be unable to communicate or self-advocate - it must be wonderful to lead such a charmed existence that you've genuinely never had to think about this kind of thing and can't even imagine what such difficulties might be after having been told that they exist.

Most people don't know what the lanyard means which is why some people have had terrible abuse.

My son doesn’t wear one, he’s 10. (Asthma and add) His older brother 11 and I do & 16 year old does also. Never been asked. He doesn’t have a lanyard though and I’m not sure I’d want one. He’s never on his own though

@CrouchEndTiger12

Most people don't know what the lanyard means which is why some people have had terrible abuse.

My daughter’s lanyard has a card attached clearly explaining that she’s exempt.

She has a Tourette’s Action lanyard rather than a sunflower one.

Not knowing what they are is absolutely no excuse for some of the abuse and harassment she has received.

As always it's a luckily small section of people who hijack legitimate reasons for not wearing face masks or just don't wear them, because erm reasons/superiority complex.

It's those people who get the majorities backs up and if you've got to wear the damned things then others should as well without a bloody good reason.

@alloalloallo where did I say in my post any of the abuse was acceptable?!

Don't put words in my mouth or make assumptions.

People abusing others about anything are thick.

Masks are a psycho theatre anyway. As soon as you touch it then you've contaminated it and you put it back over your face.

People abuse others for not wearing something that doesn't work. You couldn't make it up

@CrouchEndTiger12 you suggested the reason people were abusing others as they didn’t know what the lanyard meant.

Most people don't know what the lanyard means which is why some people have had terrible abuse.

Not knowing what something is, does not excuse their behaviour 🤷‍♀️

"Most people don't know what the lanyard means which is why some people have had terrible abuse."

No need to excuse arseholes. Some people are arseholes and enjoy abusing others - usually someone they think won't tell them to fuck off.

@Lavender24

I tell them to get fucked.

This telling people to F off is more indication of the insecurity of the unmasked as if legitimate why the offensive aggressive response to someone who is asking because of their own health vulnerability as to whether the unmasked may be a close contact Covid threat. Can the unmasked not think of others but not just drawing attention to themselves and act surprised in the middle of the start of a possible next wave of infections and fatalities. Civic duty of care is something best done collectively as otherwise Covid continues to be spread by someone possibly more likely those that are not taking all normal risk mitigation seriously and forever prolonging the pandemic. This obviously does not apply to those that have been diagnosed as being medically exempt and genuinely can’t be masked. Unless that is the whole population being disabled when convenient to claim so to the detriment of those that genuinely are or have less health privilege.

These threads are always the same - full of ableist posts

There are several aspects to this: there are people (like your DD) who genuinely cannot wear a mask. There are also a number of piss-takers.

The other side of ablesim is that there are many people with serious health conditions who will have to remain housebound after 19 July. The lifting of ALL measures to stop the spread of a really nasty disease will mean that they are effectively shut out of general society.

That's pretty ableist as well.

We wear masks not for our own protection, but to protect others. We may be carrying the virus without knowing it.

"This obviously does not apply to those that have been diagnosed as being medically exempt and genuinely can’t be masked."

My son isn't "diagnosed as medically exempt" Because no one is doing any diagnoses of this sort but anyone who harasses someone who is clearly profoundly disabled deserves any rude response they may be given by me.

I also wish you would stop pretending to care about vulnerable people because your views in all topics show you don't give a shite about them.

There are several aspects to this: there are people (like your DD) who genuinely cannot wear a mask. There are also a number of piss-takers.

But it’s not the fault of people like my DD that people are taking the piss. That’s on the piss takers, take it up with them

@Stinkysteamy

"This obviously does not apply to those that have been diagnosed as being medically exempt and genuinely can’t be masked."

My son isn't "diagnosed as medically exempt" Because no one is doing any diagnoses of this sort but anyone who harasses someone who is clearly profoundly disabled deserves any rude response they may be given by me.

Correct. People who don't even know this basic fact but moralise anyway this are too ignorant to deserve anything other than obscenities.

@Awwlookatmybabyspider

Then it will be bye bye High Street.

twitter.com/laworfiction/status/1411766156877352966?s=20

Say you’re exempt. Done. That’s all I’ve ever had to say the ONCE I’ve been asked by a shopping centre security guy. I don’t wear lanyards and I do not show exemptions.

Just say “I’m exempt”

What sort of weirdos ask such questions???

The lanyards aren’t just to say you may need assistance, they are also to suggest more understanding might be needed, eg. If you have a meltdown in a shop etc. In that instance you likely wouldn’t WANT assistance, but you would like understanding.

I feel like the disabled community, unfortunately, will have to come up with something new since the lanyards are now associated with masks (and due to a minority, to people who just don’t fancy wearing a mask).