Responding to people asking why I'm not wearing a mask

[PhasedRay]

I can't wear a face mask and am exempt due to having issues which make it extremely uncomfortable and difficult to wear. At the start of the pandemic I used to explain to people who asked why I can't, but I was getting some nasty comments and it's made me quite cynical. When someone asks now, I just tell them to mind their own business.

AIBU? I think that rather abrupt response probably would sound unreasonable from the perspective of someone who has just asked a single question, but I have been getting questioned (feels more like an interrogation sometimes) for nearly a year and I am just sick of it.

Yes. DM has been living in the UK since 1960 and hers is still strong. She left when she was 24. Shes now 85

I’m not saying the last year has been without sacrifice. I’m saying that sacrifice pales in comparison to the sacrifices that came before you. It’s not spurious at all.

Mental health, not being able to say good bye to dying loved ones etc… all very sad. You say we have been brilliant, you have woefully low standards for how society should conduct itself.

@Thebig3

Do you wear a sunflower lanyard? I know you don't have to but I have started wearing one (in a very similar situation to you) and since then no ones says anything.

I've just found it a lot easier to be honest

The sunflower lanyard although becoming synonymous with mask exemption, isn’t actually anything to do with masks. It’s from hidden disabilities charity, and i whilst not being able to wear a mask, wouldn’t consider myself to have a “hidden disability”. I’m also a community support worker, working with people with learning disabilities and autistic spectrum disorder- my clients often wear the lanyards and when one of my colleagues wore one the clients found it really distressing and confusing

Half of the anti vaxxer medical staff in my NHS Trust (yes really) only wear chin hammocks anyway. I refuse to work with them.

"They probably ask because there is really no reason not to wear one, it's just selfish.

Can I ask why you are so ignorant because I find it shocking?

@Shehasadiamondinthesky

Half of the anti vaxxer medical staff in my NHS Trust (yes really) only wear chin hammocks anyway. I refuse to work with them.

Wow beggars belief! Really? Do the surgery wear surgical masks? Perhaps the only NHS in the land not involved in Covid health care. NHS England in Isles of Scilly or NHS Scotland on some remote island or perhaps somewhere with hardly any Covid cases if that exists?

@Mostlylurkingiam

They probably ask because there is really no reason not to wear one, it's just selfish. Sorry, they aren't that comfortable but you just have to suck it up. It's been over a year, you could have taught yourself to put up with it by now.

Exempt people can't 'teach themselves' to wear a mask.

@Plumedenom

Italy. The law until last week was that everyone must carry either a mask or a certificate of exemption (due to disability or disease) from a medic at all times, unless you are under 6 years old, and the mask should be worn inside at all times and outside when not in remote areas like your garden or a country walk far from others. I have not seen a single person in town without a mask on (even if they don't all wear it perfectly), and that includes outside, in a country that is currently 30 degrees. The compliance isn't driven by the law though, it's driven by courtesy and respect for others.

I don't understand - you said everyone has to wear a mask, but now you're saying there are exemptions? I know Italy has exemptions, a TN help group I'm in on Facebook has Italian members and they haven't worn masks.

@Potteringshed

I don't say anything and lift my lanyard.

If anyone pushes after that (has only happened once), I tell them I was raped and choked and left for dead and when my nose and mouth are covered I sometimes flip back to that moment and would they like more detail? And then maybe we could share the worst moment of their life. What would that be?

The person who had challenged me fucked off at speed around then. I still wish her ill. But she's been the only bitch who felt the need to push once she saw the "mask exempt" lanyard.

I have often thought of people in your situation throughout this pandemic. People for whom having their mouth and nose covered triggers their trauma. There must be people for whom even seeing people in masks is triggering. I'm sad we have become a country so untrusting of each other and obsessed with our own version of that is right that people like you are being challenged and made to feel uncomfortable. My heart goes out to you.

The people I see on transport and in shops not wearing masks are usually young people who have make up on and don't want to spoil it. Or men in sports clothes going to the gym. They all say they are exempt but we know they are not.

Just wear a badge if you don't wish to be hassled. Job done!

I’m one of those ‘sanctimonious cunts’ who have asked people to put one on if they’re not exempt. One couple, who sat next to me on a crowded tube and proceeded to snog and shout loudly, told me they were exempt because they came from Southampton and masks weren’t needed there. On busy public transport where people cannot distance from you you are being c*¥t if you choose not to wear one. And I find that selfish behaviour upsetting. Those who can, if only to make other people feel comfortable, should. It’s just manners. And increases the protection available for those who really can’t.

@QuimKardashian

The people I see on transport and in shops not wearing masks are usually young people who have make up on and don't want to spoil it. Or men in sports clothes going to the gym. They all say they are exempt but we know they are not. Just wear a badge if you don't wish to be hassled. Job done!

Wearing a badge or lanyard gives absolutely no guarantee you won't be hassled, sadly.

Given that in two weeks people will be mixing/dancing/snogging on dancefloors and packed into sweaty gigs, all maskless, isn't it about time everyone just stopped with all these nasty, divisive mask arguments? They all seem a little redundant, now.

"Wearing a badge or lanyard gives absolutely no guarantee you won't be hassled, sadly."

You will still get abuse from the ignorant demanding to know why you are exempt. Just as they do with people with blue badges.

@Spikeyball

"Wearing a badge or lanyard gives absolutely no guarantee you won't be hassled, sadly."

You will still get abuse from the ignorant demanding to know why you are exempt. Just as they do with people with blue badges.

Or the ones who don't believe you/think you should stay at home/become aggressive.

@Mostlylurkingiam

They probably ask because there is really no reason not to wear one, it's just selfish. Sorry, they aren't that comfortable but you just have to suck it up. It's been over a year, you could have taught yourself to put up with it by now.

Have you bothered to read any of the posts on here from people explaining why they’re exempt or were you in to much of a hurry to spout your ignorance?

I wear a face shield as I can't wear a mask either. It stops the questions in shops and on the bus. I would recommend it if you can wear one, it's like wearing glasses.

The people I see on transport and in shops not wearing masks are usually young people who have make up on and don't want to spoil it. Or men in sports clothes going to the gym. They all say they are exempt but we know they are not.

My daughter is a young person. She likes to wear make up - still exempt though

Stop making assumptions

The uniquely British selfish one sided short sighted self declared self diagnosed exceptionalism entitlement

Parklife

@TheVampiresWife

What plum said is correct. Everyone had to wear a mask unless they had a medical and certified exemption. (As Plum's post says) In the last 16 months when masks inside have been obligatory, even if exempted you are not allowed in shops etc without one on.

@KarmaViolet

The uniquely British selfish one sided short sighted self declared self diagnosed exceptionalism entitlement

Parklife

😂😂😂😂😂

[quote Geamhradh]@TheVampiresWife

What plum said is correct. Everyone had to wear a mask unless they had a medical and certified exemption. (As Plum's post says) In the last 16 months when masks inside have been obligatory, even if exempted you are not allowed in shops etc without one on.[/quote]
In Plum's first post they said I come from a country where the rule is everyone has to wear it, no exceptions then went on to say that there are exceptions in the form of exemptions.

@Canigooutyet

One thing this has done for us is to kick a load of countries off the visit list. Don't want to visit countries that treat their disabled citizens with such contempt and worse than our prisoners. Yea this country fucked up but at least we could go out to get some vital sun

Yes you are all stuck in the festering pandemic. Meanwhile, the rest of us travel relatively freely between countries with low rates due to people following the rules and keeping numbers down. I am on my third bubble holiday in 6 months, whatever you think from your bubble let me remind you that tourism is the main lifeline in many other countries. Zanzibar and the Maldives have been beautiful and because they are bubbles, no masks or distancing or quarantine. But then we agree to be vaccinated and get told off if we don't wear a mask in shops or distance and sign up to an app that means we automatically get an alert of we have been within 2m of someone who just tested positive. I know who I would rather be out of the two of us.

@TheVampiresWife, ah, ok, sorry. Teach me to read more than the last page.