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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Responding to people asking why I'm not wearing a mask

309 replies

PhasedRay · 03/07/2021 19:09

I can't wear a face mask and am exempt due to having issues which make it extremely uncomfortable and difficult to wear. At the start of the pandemic I used to explain to people who asked why I can't, but I was getting some nasty comments and it's made me quite cynical. When someone asks now, I just tell them to mind their own business.

AIBU? I think that rather abrupt response probably would sound unreasonable from the perspective of someone who has just asked a single question, but I have been getting questioned (feels more like an interrogation sometimes) for nearly a year and I am just sick of it.

OP posts:
Staffy1 · 04/07/2021 16:15

Just say “I’m exempt” and leave it at that.

ShortBacknSides · 04/07/2021 16:23

Seems silly to take both masks and distancing away but that's how it's heading.

I think it's going to be disastrous ...

funinthesun19 · 04/07/2021 16:23

It’s none of their business so why do people feel the need to ask?

I don’t know how these people will cope when we don’t have to wear masks anymore. Because the virus won’t just disappear overnight. They’ll just have to hide away at home.

JediGnot · 04/07/2021 16:24

I think, OP, that you need to target your anger at those who choose not to wear masks, choose to ignore the rules, choose to spread lies about vaccines. Those are the people responsible for the fact that I will view you with contempt when I see you without a mask, even though I know (or rather, am lead to believe) that a tiny minority of people can't wear one.

JediGnot · 04/07/2021 16:25

@funinthesun19

It’s none of their business so why do people feel the need to ask?

I don’t know how these people will cope when we don’t have to wear masks anymore. Because the virus won’t just disappear overnight. They’ll just have to hide away at home.

Erm no, they'll probably be out and about doing what they're doing now - looking down in disgust at all of those people prioritising hteir own comfort over the health of the most vulnerable and the economic health of the country.
buffyajp · 04/07/2021 16:37

@Fr0thandBubble

My first response is “I’m exempt”. If they continue trying to interrogate me I put up a hand and say “Don’t talk to me”. No one has the right to police you wearing a mask or not.
This
KurtWilde · 04/07/2021 17:01

I try to wear one as much as possible but I have a medical reason why it's difficult and so occasionally I simply can't. If anyone says anything I say it's none of their business. No need to engage further.

user1497207191 · 04/07/2021 17:14

@girlmom21 Reminding someone how to wear a mask isn't bullying or intimidating them.

That depends on how they are being "reminded"! A gentle comment is fine. Standing in front of someone blocking their way, shouting at them, etc is bullying/intimidating. Funny how most "doorway staff" do the latter when the shopper is elderly/otherwise harmless, and turn the other cheek when it's a group of roofers!

XenoBitch · 04/07/2021 17:23

@walkoflifewoohoo

"I was told to remove mine during a hospital appointment as they are useless."

@XenoBitch that was rude of them. Or it would be if it had happened.

It did happen. I was struggling to wear it, so they said remove it, and that they do nothing anyway. They are literally just splash guards.
Newkitchen123 · 04/07/2021 17:28

Has this topic not been done to death over the last year or so?

KurtWilde · 04/07/2021 17:31

@XenoBitch my son in law was told to remove his when he was with my DD when she was in labour last week. The midwife said to him 'pointless thing, take it off, she needs to see your face.'

Hopefully we're coming to the end of all this ridiculousness over masks, although I'm sure some will continue to wear them as virtue signals.

Shanghaisprize · 04/07/2021 17:31

Say you're exempt? If that isn't enough, they're being rude.

memberofthewedding · 04/07/2021 17:33

Ive only worn a mask on one occasion and for all the good it would have done it was a lace one.

MercyBooth · 04/07/2021 17:46

Or it would be if it had happened

Ableists when you relate an experience...............it never happened.
Ableists when you relate an experience and also upload the film you took on your phone "how dare you film someone without their consent"

Dobbyisahouseelf · 04/07/2021 18:04

Perhaps a sunflower lanyard? Most people have realised what these represent so don't question the wearer, not that I would dream of asking someone.

Although I might raise an eyebrow to a group of 'males/youngsters' who all were unable to wear a face mask.

TheGenealogist · 04/07/2021 18:06

All you need to say is "I'm exempt". Repeatedly, if the numpty concerned is not getting the message.

Why are you not wearing a mask?
I'm exempt.
But what's wrong with you?
I'm exempt.
Do you have an illness or something.
I'm exempt.

And so on. Although to be fair, I'd have walked off after the first "i'm exempt".

steff13 · 04/07/2021 18:13

@ShortBacknSides

Seems silly to take both masks and distancing away but that's how it's heading.

I think it's going to be disastrous ...

They ended in my state 21 days ago, and new cases are trending down, and there have been zero deaths.
WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot1 · 04/07/2021 18:37

@Soverymuchfruit

It also depends on how you behave. You know that, however valid your reasons for exemption, if you talk to a person indoors at close quarters then you will be putting them at greater risk and may very reasonably make them uncomfortable? If you are careful to keep your distance esp when taking then fair enough.

(But if, otoh, you plonk yourself right down next to a visible vulnerable person on public transport, along with your non mask wearing mate, and then have a long loud conversation in her face, don't be surprised if you piss people off.)

This is how I feel, if someone can't wear a mask then that's on them, but please at least SD from me. You don't know mine or my family's vulnerability, and just because you're exempt from a mask, doesn't make you exempt from covid.

Same with people who wear masks under their noses.

ShortBacknSides · 04/07/2021 19:01

They ended in my state 21 days ago, and new cases are trending down, and there have been zero deaths

That's good to read @steff13 Do you have the Delta variant there ?

user1497207191 · 04/07/2021 19:28

@ShortBacknSides

Seems silly to take both masks and distancing away but that's how it's heading.

I think it's going to be disastrous ...

I don't see rates of infection rising any faster than they are already. People who don't care, don't care anyway. Those who do care will continue to take precautions according to personal risk assessment and personal responsibility.

Schools closing for Summer at around the same time will make a massive difference and the reduction in school infection will offset any increase in other activities.

IceBearRocks · 04/07/2021 23:05

My dad has COPD. Uses oxygen over night at SATS usually 92. He wears a mask. Wore one for 4 hours on a train.

Sometimes I think it is an excuse..... I am not you so I can never understand but I know if my dad can do it then most people can!!! Its hilarious watching families of 4 walking around with Lanyards.
My disabled boy can't wear a face mask...we have tried...but then he can't brush his teeth due to sensory problems!!!
Id say 95% of people use it as an excuse....what makes me more angry is those then smoking too.

XenoBitch · 04/07/2021 23:09

Id say 95% of people use it as an excuse....what makes me more angry is those then smoking too

What has smoking got to do with it? I have a friend who smokes like a chimney but can't wear a mask due to mental health issues. He is also a big man with tattoos. I would imagine most people would see him without a mask and think he is taking the piss.

MercyBooth · 04/07/2021 23:23

@XenoBitch Bet they wouldnt say anything to him.

XenoBitch · 04/07/2021 23:29

[quote MercyBooth]@XenoBitch Bet they wouldnt say anything to him.[/quote]
Of course. They go for easy targets like women on their own.

Thekormachameleon · 04/07/2021 23:46

Just don't let it bother you

I'm exempt, I do try and wear a mask where possible but I'm also having a severe asthma flare so it's incredibly difficult
I don't go out much as a CEV person but on the rare occasion I've been challenged I just say mind your business
And if pressed I find a "fuck off" is a good way to end the conversation