Page 3 | Responding to people asking why I'm not wearing a mask

Husbandno4 · 04/07/2021 01:16

Could you wear a face shield instead?

me4real · 04/07/2021 01:59

@PhasedRay I suggest just saying 'for medical reasons.'

You could get a sunflower thingy if you like.

XenoBitch · 04/07/2021 02:08

@Husbandno4

Could you wear a face shield instead?

I was told to remove mine during a hospital appointment as they are useless.

QueenBee52 · 04/07/2021 03:28

@PhasedRay

I can't wear a face mask and am exempt due to having issues which make it extremely uncomfortable and difficult to wear. At the start of the pandemic I used to explain to people who asked why I can't, but I was getting some nasty comments and it's made me quite cynical. When someone asks now, I just tell them to mind their own business.

AIBU? I think that rather abrupt response probably would sound unreasonable from the perspective of someone who has just asked a single question, but I have been getting questioned (feels more like an interrogation sometimes) for nearly a year and I am just sick of it.

Who exactly is asking why you are not wearing a Mask ?

TakesTheHindLeg · 04/07/2021 09:02

I’m exempt. The only person who challenged me was a train station employee. I told her I’m exempt and she said ‘that’s what they all say’ so I laughed at her and went back to reading my book.

Not worth getting into an argument IMO. I have a medical certificate on me but I’d only get it out if challenged by police or someone who asked to see it politely. Not for a passive aggressive station lady. Not worth my while.

Ironically about 2 people out of 15 on that platform had masks!

FunnyWonder · 04/07/2021 09:05

There are far more people not wearing masks now. I doubt they're all exempt, but we have to assume they are as it's rude and invasive to say anything. I wouldn't dream of it, no matter what I might think. I suppose there's always the possibility that more exempt people are out and about now as they feel things are moving forward and that the fact they can't wear a mask will be less of an issue.

There were two women shopping together in my local Tesco on Friday. They each had their own trolley and were walking side by side yammering away to each other. Neither was wearing a mask and plenty of people noticed, mainly because they were blocking the aisles and having a good old social life, forcing everyone out of the way. I spotted them talking to another couple a few minutes later. None of them wore masks. Amazing how all these exempt people happened to bump into each other in Tesco. To me, it's thoughtless to stand around chatting in supermarkets in the current climate, let alone without masks. But I just muttered behind my mask and got on with my shopping. In fact, I'm going to miss wearing one as pulling faces at people who irritate me has become one of my favourite ways to let off a bit of steam

Youdiditanyway · 04/07/2021 09:06

I think it stems from a lot of people not bothering to wear them despite definitely not being exempt. Some countries made them mandatory across the board so you couldn’t leave the house without one at all. This country made a long, long list of possible exemptions so lots of people who don’t agree with masks or can’t be bothered with them just say they’re exempt. Sad for people who are actually exempt but there you go.

notanothertakeaway · 04/07/2021 09:18

It's a hard one. We're supposed to wear masks for a reason

Yesterday, I saw a group of 4 men on public transport, none of them wearing masks. I doubt very much that they were all exempt. So, it's possible they increased the risk of the rest of us catching covid. I find that frustrating

If I were in charge, I would introduce some variation on the blue badge scheme, only to be provided by a medic. And zero tolerance for anyone without the appropriate badge / lanyard / certificate. So, no mask and no badge = no travel, can't but groceries etc. That would reduce non compliance, and people who are genuinely exempt would be believed and left in peace, without having to explain the reason

But, post Barnard Castle, it created a mindset of "I do what I like", so I don't think the public would accept my proposal now

I

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 04/07/2021 09:27

If I were in charge, I would introduce some variation on the blue badge scheme, only to be provided by a medic. And zero tolerance for anyone without the appropriate badge / lanyard / certificate

@notanothertakeaway a few weeks ago there was a woman on here who said she can't wear a mask due to PTSD after being raped as a child, when her rapist covered her face with a hoodie to stifle her screams of fear and pain.

Aside from the ridiculous cost and time it would take to implement a scheme like this, why should that woman have to recount her trauma with a tar her just so she can go to the supermarket without having a panic attack?

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 04/07/2021 09:30

Also I don't think you can blame Dominic Cummings. People were compliant, now their liberties are being taken away over something that, it turns out, wasn't as bad as was promised. Unless your freedom includes attending football or Ascot. Everyone is getting sick of it, and we as a nation are being gaslighted into thinking it's acceptable that 60,000 football fans can congregate but we can't attend our children's sports days. I don't blame people for ditching masks and refusing to buy into the melodramatic fear.

SMaCM · 04/07/2021 09:48

I know someone who has a hidden disability and has never felt the need to wear a sunflower lanyard before. However, her disability does affect her ability to wear a mask, so she now wears a sunflower lanyard. It may appear that she is wearing it to show she doesn't need to wear a mask, but she is actually wearing it because she has a hidden disability. I think there is a lot of overlap.

A PP's example of previous trauma is a hidden disability, where she would previously not have considered needing a lanyard, but she does now. As with all things in life there are different levels and types.

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 04/07/2021 09:54

@SMaCM

I know someone who has a hidden disability and has never felt the need to wear a sunflower lanyard before. However, her disability does affect her ability to wear a mask, so she now wears a sunflower lanyard. It may appear that she is wearing it to show she doesn't need to wear a mask, but she is actually wearing it because she has a hidden disability. I think there is a lot of overlap.

A PP's example of previous trauma is a hidden disability, where she would previously not have considered needing a lanyard, but she does now. As with all things in life there are different levels and types.

Yes this is perfectly out and I hope the people who are whining that "sunflower lanyards aren't for people who can't wear masks" read this and have a long hard think

girlmom21 · 04/07/2021 10:31

Sunflower lanyards were initially for people with hidden disabilities who may require additional support with their shopping etc so staff could easily identify them.

They're currently being used a mask exemption passes.

Regardless, if you're not wearing a mask, whatever the reason, it's not anybody else's business and they should piss off.

Lilibet2022 · 04/07/2021 10:34

They’re for people with hidden disabilities if they choose to wear one - been around long before the pandemic. Somehow they’ve been co-opted to mean “mask exempt”.

This. I dislike the fact they've been appropriated significantly by the cranks. A friend of mine who's genuinely exempt and I know the reasons behind it gets questioned every time because of the selfish arseholes. There are very few actually exempt people in the circles I know of. All very genuine reasons which they chose to share and weren't forced to. The others because they don't want to be controlled
A supermarket worker here has been posting covid is a hoax stuff all over their social media posts for a year to the point I blocked them but has an 'I'm exempt' badge when at work. So yes whilst most exempt cases will be genuine it can't be denied that a tiny minority are abusing the lanyard and exempt conditions. I'm exempt. I wear one. The only time I truly struggled was for an extended waiting period at a hospital appointment. I can manage perfectly fine in the 20 minutes it takes to do a shop etc.

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 04/07/2021 10:38

I dislike the fact they've been appropriated significantly by the cranks

Perhaps we should be pointing the finger of blame at the arseholes who feel it's their right to challenge anyone and everyone, rather than people who have used the lanyards to protect themselves from questioning?

Not to mention, supermarkets actively encouraged people to pick up free lanyards when they're exempt

2021DNA · 04/07/2021 11:08

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BoaCunstrictor · 04/07/2021 11:11

Not remotely unreasonable OP. You're doing well not to pepper it with obscenities, in fact.

girlmom21 · 04/07/2021 11:11

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SalvationArmyCounters · 04/07/2021 11:13

YANBU, it’s bloody tiresome. I vary my response according to the situation. Going in to a small shop eg hairdressers/opticians I’ll stop at the door, smile and say ‘I’m exempt from wearing a mask, are you okay with me coming in?’ and have always had a friendly ‘no problem, come in’ in response. With random people, if they’re polite I say ‘oh did you not know there are exemptions?’ and if they’re antagonistic I say loudly ‘Shut up and stop being a bully’.

The situation I still struggle with is the passive-aggressive muttering from couples, talking to each other rather than directly to me, but doing it loud enough so they know I can hear. I ignore them but it still upsets me sometimes.

2021DNA · 04/07/2021 11:13

Ah so now people with ill health, disabilities and past trauma should now stay home forever and ever amen because it's too hard for you to stay 2m away from them

You do understand that the nature of a pandemic means it won’t go on forever?

Magenta82 · 04/07/2021 11:18

@2021DNA

Ah so now people with ill health, disabilities and past trauma should now stay home forever and ever amen because it's too hard for you to stay 2m away from them

You do understand that the nature of a pandemic means it won’t go on forever?

Let's all put our lives on hold because you can't mind your own business and stay 2m away.

gamerchick · 04/07/2021 11:20

@Thebig3

Do you wear a sunflower lanyard? I know you don't have to but I have started wearing one (in a very similar situation to you) and since then no ones says anything.

I've just found it a lot easier to be honest

And making a mockery for what the lanyard is for. Do you know what it's for?

,It's going to have to be rebranded it's a total pisstake how many you see now.

gamerchick · 04/07/2021 11:23

@Lilibet2022

They’re for people with hidden disabilities if they choose to wear one - been around long before the pandemic. Somehow they’ve been co-opted to mean “mask exempt”.

This. I dislike the fact they've been appropriated significantly by the cranks. A friend of mine who's genuinely exempt and I know the reasons behind it gets questioned every time because of the selfish arseholes. There are very few actually exempt people in the circles I know of. All very genuine reasons which they chose to share and weren't forced to. The others because they don't want to be controlled
A supermarket worker here has been posting covid is a hoax stuff all over their social media posts for a year to the point I blocked them but has an 'I'm exempt' badge when at work. So yes whilst most exempt cases will be genuine it can't be denied that a tiny minority are abusing the lanyard and exempt conditions. I'm exempt. I wear one. The only time I truly struggled was for an extended waiting period at a hospital appointment. I can manage perfectly fine in the 20 minutes it takes to do a shop etc.

Agreed. It's bloody annoying when most of the people wouldn't have given a thought to those who actually need a bit of extra help out and about. Help that they don't get now because MOST people can't be arsed to learn how to wear a facecovering. It takes practise, like with all stuff.

user1497207191 · 04/07/2021 11:23

@Soverymuchfruit

It also depends on how you behave. You know that, however valid your reasons for exemption, if you talk to a person indoors at close quarters then you will be putting them at greater risk and may very reasonably make them uncomfortable? If you are careful to keep your distance esp when taking then fair enough.

(But if, otoh, you plonk yourself right down next to a visible vulnerable person on public transport, along with your non mask wearing mate, and then have a long loud conversation in her face, don't be surprised if you piss people off.)

I fully agree. I try to stay away from people not wearing masks, i.e. maintain the 2 metre SD. Unfortunately, some other people, when not wearing masks, don't make any effort to maintain the required 2 metres.

I've certainly got up and moved when someone without a mask has sat right next to me (literally 2 inches rather than 2 metres) on a train or bus.

user1497207191 · 04/07/2021 11:25

@girlmom21

Sunflower lanyards were initially for people with hidden disabilities who may require additional support with their shopping etc so staff could easily identify them.

They're currently being used a mask exemption passes.

Regardless, if you're not wearing a mask, whatever the reason, it's not anybody else's business and they should piss off.

It's their business if the maskless person doesn't respect the 2 metre social distancing.