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Original poster

THE singular most embarrassing moment of your life?

509 replies

OlympicProcrastinator · 01/07/2021 19:29

You know, the one that pops in to your head at 3am 15 years later and you can still feel the burning shame?

I’ll start. Met a client at work and introduced myself, asked their name. It was a fairly unusual name so began making small talk about it / origins, someone I used to know with same name etc etc. Then….for some reason I just completely forgot what we were talking about and followed it up with, “So anyway, you haven’t told me your name”. Que a look of bemusement then disdain from him as he shook his head and said, “I think you’d better go away now”. It was just so awful. I shuffled off.
I saw him a few weeks later with a friend and he was pointing and laughing at me. That was 20 years ago. I Still cringe.

There was a cracking one on here a few years ago where a woman had gone to a wedding she didn’t like and was slagging it off by text to her husband. Except it wasn’t her husband. She’d accidentally text the bride!! Who promptly told her she was blocked forever.

Anyone care to share theirs?

OP posts:
roonthebend · 08/08/2021 00:28

When I was 19, had been sleeping with a guy for a few months. Very casual, would go to his flat for drinks/sex a couple of times a week and that was the extent of it. I'd fancied him for years in school so was really enjoying the set up.

One night was very drunk, it had started to fizzle by this point a little, wasn't going over as much but there I was, on his sofa, drunk. We had done anal a few times however this night he didn't ask and just put it in without any warning or any lube. I let him keep going as I had no boundaries back then and next thing I knew there was diareah, proper diareah everywhere. All over him, me, the sofa. It was the most embarrassing moment of my life.

The realisation of what happened and getting up and walking to the bathroom, trying to clean myself up and just being so so so affronted. I was crying so much, I left and never went back. I have seen him since then out and about and he will say hi etc but it's all I can think about. In his defence he was trying to be okay about it but I think he was in shock too. Oh god I still cringe, mortifying.

Dinosaurballoon · 08/08/2021 00:52

Not Ian 😭😭😂😂😂 dying omgg

Sitchervice · 08/08/2021 02:06

I screamed why don't you love me down the phone to my boss thinking it was my mum calling. My brain just didn't pick up the number on my phone. (The why don't you love me thing was because seconds earlier our call had cut out.)

I could have died there and then 🤣

Onthebrink87 · 08/08/2021 02:21

Years ago I was working as a HCA in a pharmacy when the new manager from the shop next door came in for an "MOT" including a blood pressure check. I took him into the consultation room and as he sat down I started to get all the equipment out of the cupboard and said "right, just give me a minute to get my bits out" and he replied "if you're getting your bits out, you should give me a minute or you'll never get an accurate reading"
I was maybe 19 and I died inside. My colleagues insisted on making jokes about my additional services for 6 FUCKING YEARS.

bbbbbbbbbccccc · 08/08/2021 02:35

roonthebend, I really feel for you . oh bless you. xx

1forAll74 · 08/08/2021 02:45

I went to a friends BBQ couple of years ago, in her beautiful garden. Her Husband was doing the cooking. I was just wandering around the garden looking at all the plants and flowers,they had a pond as well. All of a sudden, the husband quietly walked over the lawn, and spoke to me, and handed me a plate of food with salad etc, and a glass of wine. I automatically took it from him as I turned, but lost my footing a bit, and the food all slid off the plate, and the glass of wine fell too, and it all ended up in the fish pond which I was admiring,

They had some koi carp in the pond, and the fish immediately started circling around the floating salad stuff in the pond. Thankfully everyone thought it was funny, when they noticed this bit of commotion going on, but I felt stupid though.

FortunesFave · 08/08/2021 03:18

@CoRhona

Op I didn't say you were a lazy journalist as I have no idea who you are. Nope, haven't looked at your history either.

You could be absolutely anyone.

By this standard you shouldn't even be ON MN with that level of fear! Lol. What do you post about? ANYTHING that doesn't give away your opinions or experiences? Why bother?
IrishCharm · 08/08/2021 04:00

I was ill with sinusitis, dosed up on meds and sleeping in the car whilst my sister shopped after a fitting for her wedding dress and our bridesmaids dresses. I woke needing the loo so hopped out the car to go into the toy shop where I knew they had a loo - halfway across the car park I heard two guys giggling (who happened to be famous) and looked down to realise my trousers were almost around my ankles! I had big sucky in pants/shorts on THANK GOD but I was mortified!
I felt so ill I just pulled them up and kept walking but I cringe every time I think about it and I’m 99% certain the two guys were two famous pop stars who live in the town 🥴

Eminybob · 08/08/2021 05:44

I have so many that I can’t even think at the moment, so I’ll tell you the most recent one.

Went out on a work do last week, some of my team, including me and my boss are leaving through redundancy so it was like a leaving do.

Anyway, I got very drunk and told my boss I love him. What I meant was I thought he was a brilliant manager and I’m going to miss him a lot, but all I could remember when I woke up the next day was declaring my love for him. I’m mortified in case he took it the wrong way.
He has acted normally with me since but I can’t help cringing every time I think about it Blush

Spasiba · 08/08/2021 10:52

This is a friend's story.
He lived in a tiny bedsit; the front door was opposite the lifts on the ground floor.
He got pissed, bought a girl back to his room and fell asleep while doing the deed.
He woke up the next morning, girl had gone leaving the door to his room open. He was naked on the bed, a condom hanging off his limp dick, on display to every other resident of the flats who exited the lifts (basically everyone).

ILoveToads · 08/08/2021 11:39

@MyFartWillGoOn

Another one that haunts me at 4am

I was due to have an operation on my knee. Nothing terrible but it requires some of the usual pre surgery checks: bloods and a chest x ray as would be under general.

I was sent to a cubicle for bloods and the most dreamy looking man ever arrived to take them. I mean, he made Matthew McConaughey (sp?) look like an average man on the street.

He asked a few questions as I said I was a bit nervous and put me at ease. Made a few jokes and seemed to try and make me laugh so I was convinced there was a bit of flirting.

He then paused and asked me to make a face... going with the jokes I assumed this was some tactic to put me at ease again. So I pulled the best gurner face I could, pulled my ears out with my hands and crossed my eyes.

He had been gathering tubes and bottles so turned around to see my best creative 'face'.

He froze, stuttered and asked what I was doing... it dawned on me slowly this might have been a misunderstanding so I told him I was making a face. He absolutely collapsed in a heap of giggles, gestured to his tray of equipment to take blood and said 'no, no....make a FIST'.

He actually had to go and get someone else to draw blood as he couldn't stop laughing. I was mortified and so pleased I never saw him again!

This is one of the funniest things I've read, tried to read it to DH but couldn't get the words out for laughing 😂
Doctroo · 08/08/2021 13:18

This reply has been deleted

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GreenTeaBlackCoffeeAndRedWine · 08/08/2021 13:26

Probably the time when I visited my partner's parents when we were about 17 and got very, very, very drunk.

But in my head I thought I could pretend to be sober. And drunk me thought she really was pulling it off...

I wasn't. I was talking absolute shit.

Thankfully they laughed about it, but we rarely visit now even though it's been a few years.

forwardtothepast · 08/08/2021 15:05

@roonthebend so he anally raped you then? Thanks

polexiaaphrodesia · 08/08/2021 15:26

Worked in a kids shoe shop when I was a teenager. A mum came in looking for school shoes for her young DD and was looking through the pairs we had in her size. Came to a pair of black, plain lace ups and asked me "are these for boys or girls". I completely forgot the word for unisex and cheerfully responded "those shoes are bisexual!"

Mummyoply · 08/08/2021 16:01

I was on a 6 week course for work, it's was very 'workshoppy' with lots of practical hands on elements. However, and in my defence, I probably shouldn't have been on it and was already competent in a lot of what was being taught. There were lectures in between the practical elements and the room was always very hot. But none of that is an excuse for what I did.

I feel asleep in an early lecture and woke myself up with a very loud snore. There is no way that I got away with this, it was a very small cohort, about 15 of us and we were sat around big tables in a large clinic room.

On the very last day it happened again only this time it wasn't my snore that woke me up, it was a very loud fart! Oh god the shame - I still feel terrible about it and it was about 15 years ago Blush. We all just pretended it hadn't happened but there were lots of sniggers!

wingsandstrings · 08/08/2021 18:31

I was in a small group setting talking about something serious and someone got a word mixed up - she said that she was about to say something profane, but she had meant to 'profound'. For some reason I found it really funny - which it was, because when she said 'i'm about to say something profane' we were all on the edge of our seats wondering what profanity would emerge, and then rather disappointed when she said something perfectly normal. Anyway, it struck me as funny and I couldn't stop laughing, but I didn't want to laugh as I could see she was embarrassed at making the mistake. But the more inappropriate it was to laugh the more hysterical I became because I was self-conscious then. It was dreadful. I left I the end, but not before she ended up crying. I looked like such an insensitive b*tch. I apologised very sincerely to her. I cringe every time I think about it.

MiaMarshmallows · 08/08/2021 18:41

Bisexual shoes Grin

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 09/08/2021 22:26

I have many....

Now-DH and I went home to his shared house one evening. We had been out to a real ale pub and DH kept teasing me that I would turn into an old man if I kept going to old man pubs like that. Up in his bedroom, he started initiating things, but I was in a silly mood and just kept saying "oh leave me alone, I'm just a poor old man, stop taking my trousers off, I'm just an old man" etc.

Then, in a moment of silence, we heard his housemate veeery quietly sneak out of the room and downstairs.

None of us ever mentioned it. Well except DH who relentlessly took the piss for about 6 months after.

pheonixrebirth · 09/08/2021 23:47

@MyFartWillGoOn

Another one that haunts me at 4am

I was due to have an operation on my knee. Nothing terrible but it requires some of the usual pre surgery checks: bloods and a chest x ray as would be under general.

I was sent to a cubicle for bloods and the most dreamy looking man ever arrived to take them. I mean, he made Matthew McConaughey (sp?) look like an average man on the street.

He asked a few questions as I said I was a bit nervous and put me at ease. Made a few jokes and seemed to try and make me laugh so I was convinced there was a bit of flirting.

He then paused and asked me to make a face... going with the jokes I assumed this was some tactic to put me at ease again. So I pulled the best gurner face I could, pulled my ears out with my hands and crossed my eyes.

He had been gathering tubes and bottles so turned around to see my best creative 'face'.

He froze, stuttered and asked what I was doing... it dawned on me slowly this might have been a misunderstanding so I told him I was making a face. He absolutely collapsed in a heap of giggles, gestured to his tray of equipment to take blood and said 'no, no....make a FIST'.

He actually had to go and get someone else to draw blood as he couldn't stop laughing. I was mortified and so pleased I never saw him again!

I'm dying!! My child just came down to check on me- he thought I was having a fit!! 😂😂😂😂
ChampagneKisses · 13/08/2021 09:26

Dh came up behind me, patted my arse and kissed the top of my head. Only it wasn't me it was my mum 😂

DeflatedGinDrinker · 13/08/2021 10:01

When my son was at primary school we always spoke to Finley and his nan, who I recognised as my mum knows their family. I know I'd said to my son 'say bye to Finley and his nan' and stuff like that. General chit chat. Never knew her real name. My mum came to do the school pick up with me once when my son was in his last year (ASD so didn't walk home alone) and I point out Finley and his nan. My mum tells me its Finley's mum and she had him later in life so was an older mum. I was absolutely mortified then had to stand and listen to Finley's MUM and my mum having a little catch up. Why did she not ever correct me?!

DeflatedGinDrinker · 13/08/2021 10:04

I'd even told my mum that I always saw Finley and his nan at school and she always assumed I meant his actual nan.

BananaMilkshakeWithCream · 13/08/2021 10:32

I don’t want to write mine 😂

listentomydeclaration · 02/09/2021 09:24

The Angela Hernandez story was the plot of an episode of Miranda.

So either Miranda Hart stole it from mumsnet, or mumsnet stole it from Miranda....

Or Miranda Hart is on here....