THE singular most embarrassing moment of your life?

[OlympicProcrastinator]

You know, the one that pops in to your head at 3am 15 years later and you can still feel the burning shame?

I’ll start. Met a client at work and introduced myself, asked their name. It was a fairly unusual name so began making small talk about it / origins, someone I used to know with same name etc etc. Then….for some reason I just completely forgot what we were talking about and followed it up with, “So anyway, you haven’t told me your name”. Que a look of bemusement then disdain from him as he shook his head and said, “I think you’d better go away now”. It was just so awful. I shuffled off.
I saw him a few weeks later with a friend and he was pointing and laughing at me. That was 20 years ago. I Still cringe.

There was a cracking one on here a few years ago where a woman had gone to a wedding she didn’t like and was slagging it off by text to her husband. Except it wasn’t her husband. She’d accidentally text the bride!! Who promptly told her she was blocked forever.

Anyone care to share theirs?

@IceLace100

What myself at work.

That is all.

Shat *

@MissMissTorrance

Out for a long walk across the moors with my then boyfriend and his prim parents (who made it obvious they didn't think I was good enough for their Son). Miles from anywhere, out on the moors, I didn't feel quite right, felt my stomach churning. Suddenly my bowels gave way and explosive yellow diarrhoea started running down out of my shorts leg and soaking them. I took off and ran towards some nearby hill ( that looked much closer than it was!) and tried to clean myself up with some moss as they looked on wondering what the hell I had run off for. As they approached, I sat down and pretended I was admiring the view as they looked on, noses twitching. After a few minutes I urged them to go on saying I would follow. They did, looking back suspiciously.My bf lingered so I shouted at him to 'piss off'. He walked away wondering what he'd done to upset me and why I was ruining the day. After sorting myself out to the best of my ability I followed and caught up with them. It was a horrible afternoon, no one talking and me trying to hide my soggy shorts under a jumper tied around my waist and I absolutely stunk. When we went to get back in his parents car his Dad went to the boot and passed me a carrier bag "to sit on". He then opened all the car windows and we set off on the silent journey home where I was dropped off without a word.

I literally don't think I could have survived that 😨🤣

I worked for a council which were reorganising departments, the open plan office I worked in was being considered for relocation. We had all been chatting away about the pros and cons of the relocation, when the boss came back from a meeting he asked what we thought and I told him we'd had a mass debate over it.
Everyone killed themselves laughing, I sat there utterly puzzled, they couldn't speak. About 10 minutes later I had a delayed reaction, realised what it sounded like for a moment turned bright red and then had my turn at a belly aching laugh. It was only later when everyone later joyfully retold my gaff that I would sit their red faced but honestly I couldn't blame them, I actually enjoy retelling it now it was quite a corker.

First day of new job I parked out side of the office as I didn't have pass to get me into the staff area.
Met new boss who gave me tour and asked where I was parked. When I said outside he offered to jump my car with me to direct me to our allocated parking.
He got in the front seat beside me and all of a sudden I got flustered, lifted the clutch to fast, shot back and rammed the car behind me. He just looked at me with utter bemusement. I felt like a right tit.

I was buying a car at one of those cargiant sort of places-was neogitating a deal on some extras the salesman went to sort out some paperwork i bent down to get my bag and the chair on wheels just slid out from under me and i went arse over tit inthe mijddle of the showroom

the floor was that shiny stuff i mean why have such slippery floors-had to get up and sit and wait for the man to come back and finish off paperwork

@LittleMissBoss I'm not sure I get it 🤦‍♀️ sorry. Can you explain it?

@LittleMissBoss
Ok got it now 😂

Most embarrassing for me was waking up , very hungover, after a party at my mums. No clue what time it was.....
Really needed to pee, dashed downstairs to use the loo, swung the living room door open to find a room full of people. Then realised I'm stark naked 😱
Not great when you're young tbh. But I had to pee, so dashed to the bathroom. I think mum probably found me a towel to cover myself and I stayed in my room for the rest of the day

Out for a meal in a lovely restaurant which was part of a business hotel. Wearing strappy high sandals and a very short dress. We had ordered drinks at the bar while waiting for our tables. The bar was in the centre of the room and the seats around the edge were low couch types with coffee tables - few people on laptops sitting at those. We were called to our table so I picked up my bag & drink and was heading across the room when I slipped on the glossy parquet floor- bambi- style, landing on my knees. My drink went flying right onto one of the men sitting on the couches. That wasn't embarrassing enough- still on my knees I tried to retrieve the ice cubes from his crotch area while apologising like crazy. I still cringe🥴

I've just excelled myself

I’m meant to be getting a sharps bin delivered today and I need to pay £1 for it. Guy knocked at the door so I sent DD to answer it with £1. He passed her the package and she passed him the £1. He said “what’s this for?” She said “I don’t know my mum said to give you it!”.........

It was a package from wowcher.

So now we have tipped the delivery driver with a shiny £1 coin.

Actually dying inside right now because he is parked outside still trying to work out why we gave him £1 😂😂😂

@AgentCooperDreamsofTibet Amazing, I want to be your friend!

Not my story but something that happened to my DP. He was crossing the car park of our local retail park and saw a woman struggling to load several heavy items into the back of her car. He offered to help and she appreciated it, unfortunately as she bent and then lifted her half of the first item her jeans fell down to her ankles, no underwear. Apparently she went scarlet as you would, to her credit she covered herself up and the said let's see if we can do the rest without showing you my tits shall we?

Has the woman who threw a hot chocolate at a security guard she 'had mistaken for a bin' been on yet? I howled at that story for about 20 minutes.

@Yesitsbess

Has the woman who threw a hot chocolate at a security guard she 'had mistaken for a bin' been on yet? I howled at that story for about 20 minutes.

OMG I remember that one. Legendary

So bad I can’t bring myself to type it..

@OldieButaGoodie
That is hilarious 😂

Used to wear trousers a lot and had the habit of taking trousers and underwear off at same time .hubby came home from work 9ne dinnertime and had split his work trousers my dad wS sitting in kitchen so I asked him to look after baby while I sorted some fresh trousers for hubby
Came back down stairs and a pair of knickers fell out of my trouser leg they must have been there since they were washed .exit my dad and I stood there red faced
I dont think he believed my story lx

Really outing, so obvious name change.

When I was 15, I worked at a pub cleaning b&b rooms, and working in the kitchen. I was sofa surfing and never had any proper food. I was fed up with pot noodles etc, so I nicked a seafood paella from the fridge.
The chef offered me a lift home after work one night, which I gratefully accepted as I didn't fancy the 5 mile walk back in the dark.

I put my bag with the paella between my legs in the car. It leaked but I didn't realise. I said thank you for the lift, see you tomorrow, and stepped out the car. We both looked at the wet patch on the passenger seat, then looked at each other, then back at the seat. Then the smell of seafood hit us and I thought he was going to throw up. I panicked, said sorry and ran off. I never went back.

Walking home from the supermarket one summers morning with a light bag of shopping and wearing a floaty skirt.
I walked around a mile down a busy main road and was almost home when a neighbour pulled over in her car to offer me a lift.
I said it was ok, I'm nearly home.
No, OhGiveUp, she said, get in, I saw you walking down the road and the back of your skirt is caught on your handbag strap.
I'd walked down the busy main road giving all the motorists an eyeful of my bare thonged arse after a breeze wafted my skirt up and I'd trapped it when adjusting my handbag.

Mine happened in primary school and it's so stupid but it still makes me cringe.
Our school held this special day where everyone in juniors was mixed up and given a colour. So everyone who was red for example would go to a classroom and do a craft event, then go to a different classroom and sample world cuisines, then do a sport event etc. It was always a fun day.
The day after there was a big assembly and the headteacher called up children from the craft event to showcase their work in front of the school. I'd done that event, so I proudly went to stand up in front of the school not realising that EVERYONE in juniors had done that event on a rotation. The red team, then the blue team, then green, etc. I had to stand there for what felt like hours whilst the chosen kids held up their art and I had nothing to show ... I even tried to convince my friend who was stood beside me that I'd helped with his art even though he was on a completely different team

@singlehun

We once had some American clients visiting and one of them went to high give me as I walked down the office corridor.

Typical awkward English girl I tried to give it a go but completely missed and smacked the person stood next to him in the face

Howling!

The one that makes me go all hot is a piece of writing that I did in Year 2. We had to describe what animals three people in the class would be. It was an all girls' school and I described one as a palomino stallion, because she had white blonde hair. I'd read enough horsey books to know what palamino was, but I'd obviously missed out on the fact that stallions were male.

I found out about a fortnight afterwards and it was pinned up on the wall of the classroom for months. It mocked me from the corner and I remember hoping that nobody read it.

The time I showed my bra to queues of people at Heathrow runs is also pretty awful.

I'd flown in on the city hopper from Amsterdam, and was going through security at Heathrow when the machine beeped. No problem, I went to be patted down. I had completely forgotten I was wearing a pedometer attached to the middle of my bra. Until the lady asked what it was.

I was wearing a polo necked jumper. I couldn't go down the neck, so I started putting my hand up from the bottom. The security guard obviously thinks that I'm going to set off some sort of bra-based explosive and barks that she needs to see what I'm doing with my hands. Everybody looks, as I panic and pull my jumper up under my chin, giving not just the security guard, but everybody else around a good view of my chest.

She then sent me back through the machine, to put it in a tray and come back through again while everybody waiting behind me just stared.

It was awful, I'd never really understood about wishing the floor could swallow you until I had to walk back towards all those businessmen with their briefcases and newspapers!

(I do know that security at airports is very important but I'd flown through three airports on the way out (including Heathrow!) and had been through security at Schiphol a couple of hours earlier and it hadn't been picked up anywhere else!)

I have too many to pick just one.

When l was a kid we went to a family event and at the end my mum asked me to show her where the toilets were. I went in first and pulled the door to the first cubical, bit of resistance but said 'oh it's a bit stiff...' pulled harder...cue woman sitting on the loo saying 'excuse me?!' She was just as embarrassed as l was but she kept looking over at me when we went back in as though l had done it deliberately. Fortunately we left soon after!

Fell asleep on train in summer wearing a camisole, woke up to find not only my bra on display but a sleezey man opposite me staring

Got off the train in a busy London station one morning, tap tap on the shoulder...your dress is open at the back...bless her she said 'l'm sure no one noticed..l eas wearing suspenders as well

Mistook an employee wearing black trousers and a white shirt in reception for the security guard...he wasn't very happy at all

I was 30 and working abroad. I was in a team meeting with my colleagues and my female manager (who was about 10 years older than me) and I called her 'mum'.