THE singular most embarrassing moment of your life?

[OlympicProcrastinator]

You know, the one that pops in to your head at 3am 15 years later and you can still feel the burning shame?

I’ll start. Met a client at work and introduced myself, asked their name. It was a fairly unusual name so began making small talk about it / origins, someone I used to know with same name etc etc. Then….for some reason I just completely forgot what we were talking about and followed it up with, “So anyway, you haven’t told me your name”. Que a look of bemusement then disdain from him as he shook his head and said, “I think you’d better go away now”. It was just so awful. I shuffled off.
I saw him a few weeks later with a friend and he was pointing and laughing at me. That was 20 years ago. I Still cringe.

There was a cracking one on here a few years ago where a woman had gone to a wedding she didn’t like and was slagging it off by text to her husband. Except it wasn’t her husband. She’d accidentally text the bride!! Who promptly told her she was blocked forever.

Anyone care to share theirs?

Unfortunately I don't have one yet... which means it probably hasn't happened yet. Although vomiting all over the guy I was seeing at Freshers wasn't a great moment and neither was passing out on a bus...

@TangoWhiskyAlphaTango oh bless you that one is awful! Not something one needs as a teen! A boy once did something similar (not nearly so bad) when I was a teen. My sister decked him in the face... and wel deserved too!

@Ophanim

I do see Shrike's POV in a lot of what she says, however the things that would wake me in a cold sweat are things I've done that are completely twattish and completely wrong of me.

Same. Embarrassment isn't the worst thing. But shame over wrongdoing... yeah they haunt me.

About 30 years ago, staying at a good friends house (I was about 30, had 3 children, and my husband had recently left me for another woman), I went to bed too tired and typsy to take my make-up off, woke up to find dark black mascara marks on her lovely white pillow case. So of course I took it off the pillow, went downstairs with it, apologised profusely, and offered to hand wash the pillowcase then and there, didn't I? No, I didn't, I quickly turned the pillow over so that she wouldn't see the awful marks before I left! So with my maturity suddenly kicking in when I got home, I rang her up to apologise for my unthinking moment of panic, and we had a good laugh about it, didn't I? No, I just pretended it had never happened, I never mentioned it to her, she never mentioned it to me. We eventually lost touch after she moved abroad, so Julia, if you are reading this somewhere in the World, I am so sorry, I am even blushing now, and my heart is racing!

@HeartvsBrain do people really care about mascara on pillowcases. Even my 1000 thread count allows makeup to come out in the wash...

@2020nymph, well, I was at University of Florida, for a while, at least...and the bane of my mother's existance!

@Horehound don't feel embarrassed. Those people may have judged you, but only because they weren't aware of all the facts. It's an incorrect judgement. You know why you acted like that and it was desperation. Let it go. They are nothing to you.

@ShrikeAttack you sound very special and lucky to not feel embarrassment. Well done 👏

At a job interview, all went well, but as I left the room and looked back at the panel of 3 stern people, I blew them a kiss.

As it was happening I couldn't believe I was doing it. I couldn't take it back. I smiled like I meant it and left.

A few years ago I started getting wheezy when I went out running so went to the GP to see about gettingan inhaler.

The GP asked me to do a peak flow test, which basically involves blowing into a tube with a gauge on it to see how quickly you can blow air out of your lungs.

I'd never done one before so she demonstrated, by holding the tube, taking a deep breath and blowing out - but obviously not into the tube because that would have been unhygienic.

She gave it to me and I did exactly the same, held the tube, took a deep breath in, and then breathed out...not into the tube. How I thought it would measure anything I'm not sure, but it gave the GP a good laugh anyway!

@DoctorStrangeness your story gives me comfort. Once at an interview with a similarly stern panel, they proceeded to tell me there was no car parking to which I replied that I didn't drive so it wasn't a problem. All fine but I had also a rather large umbrella with me as it had been heavily raining that day and for some unbeknown reason (a joke attempt perhaps?) I proceeded to tell them I would ride my brolly to work. That was bad enough but maybe could have gotten away with it until it was time to leave the interview and I mounted the brolly mocking a witch riding a broom out of there. Needless to say I did not get that job!

I often think about this day, it was 11 years ago and I was on my way for a hospital appointment. I got off the bus and merrily walked down the road only for a builder to stop me to tell me that my handbag had dragged the back of my skirt up and my whole thong clad arse was on display. I was mortified. Half an hour later I was told I had stage 3 cancer and suddenly it didn't seem so bad. It's always reminded me that everything is about perspective.

[quote funnyoldonion]@DoctorStrangeness your story gives me comfort. Once at an interview with a similarly stern panel, they proceeded to tell me there was no car parking to which I replied that I didn't drive so it wasn't a problem. All fine but I had also a rather large umbrella with me as it had been heavily raining that day and for some unbeknown reason (a joke attempt perhaps?) I proceeded to tell them I would ride my brolly to work. That was bad enough but maybe could have gotten away with it until it was time to leave the interview and I mounted the brolly mocking a witch riding a broom out of there. Needless to say I did not get that job![/quote]
Oh my dear God, I'm laughing so much
I'd have given you the job just based on your entertainment value

Heavily pregnant and in Jonathan James trying to find some slippers for my maternity bag, was explaining to my mum why I needed them but instead of saying for the hospital I'd said quite loudly so others were able to hear, for when I go to prison.

I have a specific hearing impairment, in that there are certain sounds I can't hear. Problem is, until I had my hearing aids, my brain would make up the difference.

I was talking to a colleague and asking after her FIL, who I knew had been poorly. "Oh, he danced" she said. "Well that's great!" I replied, "he must be feeling better if he's dancing?" "Dancing? No, he passed, he died"

@SoManyy , those incidents are for your mother to be ashamed of, not for you to be embarrassed about.

@SmellThat Thank you! Funnily enough (to my horror of horrors) I ended up recounting that story at my next interview as they asked me "what my flaws were" (hate that question as obviously there are many) and I blurted the "brolly broom" story out and I did in actual fact get that job and they were a great bunch of people too!

So many job interview ones!

My friend in a job interview was asked what one word best describes her.

She replied "Sexy?"

She didn't get the job 🤣

Not me but my mum. Years ago she was upstairs in her bedroom after just having a shower. The window cleaner arrived and was cleaning her bedroom window. She quickly ran and hid out of sight in her bedroom. He was there ages cleaning it while she was freezing. She realised later he could full on see her in her long mirror!!!!!

When I was doing my teacher training, I was teaching a group of impeccably behaved sixth-formers history. I was using a dry whiteboard for the first time (very new-fangled at the time). I was nervous as I'd not taught A-level before and the session was quite long. Instead of using a board marker or cloth, I kept rubbing things of the board with my hand. In my nervous state I'd also been touching my face with said inky hands. Bless the students, they were really polite (it was a very naice school).
Eventually, a mortified looking student put her hand up and said "Sorry Miss but you've got pen all over your face". I rushed to the loo and yep, I had a lovely blue moustache/goaty/monobrow set. Jeez! 😳

I was 16 in my first job and one of the supervisors was constantly refusing to answer and take calls from customers.

So me trying to be funny told him it was his mate so he would take the call.
He answered it with "alright you cunt".
my stomach hit the floor.

His face was .

It was his very posh customer and account executive. Oops.
Didn't refuse calls after that though .

I've posted about this one before.

Years ago, before I was married, I was mad about this fella who use to shop in the local Co-op where I also shopped. I didn't exactly follow him about but I did keenly keep an eye out for him. Our eyes sometimes did meet across the baked beans and we'd smile at each other.

I, in my foolishness, decided to ramp this up a notch and hatched a cunning seduction plan. The next Co-op trip was to be D-Day and I dressed for the part of femme fatale.

All going well, I teetered around the shop very carefully (and slowly) awaiting my prey. He came in, I knew he'd probably stop by the bread so that's where I was headed. As planned, he came for bread, saw me, said 'Hello'. I half-turned to give him a winning smile, I was holding onto the edge of the shelf, stupidly thought I would do some sort of sexy 'bunny-dip', mismanaged my feet which slid out from under me and I crashed to the floor but not without first pulling that plastic shelf edging with me into an ungodly heap.

He looked shocked and concerned, offered to help me up. Wasn't that kind? Did I take up his offer? No I did not. I put my head on my arms and pretended to be asleep. I don't know how long I stayed like that but he was gone by the time I 'woke up'.

Lunacy! I used to like that Co-op too. Of course I can't go back there now.

@Strawberryshitfest

Also took my dog to the vet once and they said can you just turn him around for me. For some reason I tackled my massive dog onto his back and pinned him on the floor, thinking she wanted to examine his stomach. She was quite surprised considering she just wanted to look at the other side of his head.

Terrific!!!!

This happened only a few weeks back. I work as a nurse and was in an out patient clinic seeing patients.
Nipped to the loo but it was a busy clinic and I was rushing. Came out of the loo and a patient tapped me on the shoulder, there was a long length of toilet roll training out the back.
I had a wee, wiped and pulled my tights up so fast it had caught the discarded loo roll.
I then stood in the middle of our patients wondering what to do with said loo roll 🤣🤣😳

@TreeSmuggler

Another one is a time I was at a party and wasn't really hitting it socialising wise. I tried to mingle and talk to people, one person asked me "so what do you do fun" but my mind went blank, instead of saying literally anything I said "Ummm.........not much". He said "great conversation" and walked away.

TreeSmuggler he was an unpleasant, mannerless, unkind pr*ck then. Be glad you chased him off!