THE singular most embarrassing moment of your life?

[OlympicProcrastinator]

You know, the one that pops in to your head at 3am 15 years later and you can still feel the burning shame?

I’ll start. Met a client at work and introduced myself, asked their name. It was a fairly unusual name so began making small talk about it / origins, someone I used to know with same name etc etc. Then….for some reason I just completely forgot what we were talking about and followed it up with, “So anyway, you haven’t told me your name”. Que a look of bemusement then disdain from him as he shook his head and said, “I think you’d better go away now”. It was just so awful. I shuffled off.
I saw him a few weeks later with a friend and he was pointing and laughing at me. That was 20 years ago. I Still cringe.

There was a cracking one on here a few years ago where a woman had gone to a wedding she didn’t like and was slagging it off by text to her husband. Except it wasn’t her husband. She’d accidentally text the bride!! Who promptly told her she was blocked forever.

Anyone care to share theirs?

I was training as a midwife,in the Army.The Major who was our tutor used to terrify me.I had to do a presentation in front of loads of people,it was about contraception (this was in the 1970’s).I decided to do it like a history lesson and learnt that the Romans used half a lemon,like a cap.So I took a lemon with me as a prop,I then announced that I wasn’t cutting the lemon in half as I was going to use it myself later on! Cue lots of loud guffaws from the audience.

I was going to use it in gin and tonic,we drank a lot in the Army in those days!

I was at a wedding and the only person I knew was the bride.

There was a line up of the wedding party that all the guests congratulated and said hello to. I got to a lady who I assumed was the groom’s Mum….. I said “oh hello,you must be the groom’s Mum”?
She said No,I’m his sister.
Mortified and I was stuck in the bloody line up. I followed it by saying how much I loved her outfit.

Working as a checkout girl in the run up to Christmas back when I was a teen, serving these 2 really hot guys who were totally out of my league. I kept my head down as I knew I’d go red if I caught their eyes. One of them says “so what are your plans for Christmas?” I then spent a good couple of minutes talking about seeing this family member and that family member and what time I’d be going to each house and what I’d be eating, while the guy who asked the question just stared at me looking mildly frightened. When I finally finished talking he just turned to the other guy and said “so, CRAIG, what are YOUR plans for Christmas?” Turns out he hadn’t been speaking to me at all. I died several times over.
On another occasion in the same job I’d had a song stuck in my head all day after hearing it the night before. Serving a customer and instead of saying “are you paying cash or card?” I just blurted out the words to the song “spin me faster like a kaleidoscope” but in the tone I would have used to ask the question. The woman looked bemused and said “sorry?” so I fronted it out, looked her dead in the eye and said “I said are you paying cash or card?” while everything inside me prayed that I’d fall into the deepest of black holes immediately.

I'm widely accepted as unembarrassable.

I've never been embarrassed about anything.

My first husband (who was an utter dick) used to look at me in wonderment and say 'You have no sense of shame do you?'.

And no, I don't have a sense of shame. Because I've done nothing wrong. I'm not embarrassed by something that might be considered embarrassing. All embarrassment is, is when someone behaves in a way that's not considered within the norm.

I'm quite moral. I'm very pragmatic. I accept my lapses as I accept the lapses of others.

But I've never felt embarrassed. Why would I?

I went on a school trip abroad for 5 days and one of the middle days was my birthday, the first one I has spent away from my parents, I think it was my 12th.

Anyway every night of the trip we went to the same restaurant for dinner. The night of my birthday Happy Birthday came on the sound system and the waiters paraded out towards my table with a lovely cake with sparklers coming out of it. Walked right by my table to a local family a few tables down.

I was absolutely mortified and had already been upset at missing my parents, that sent me over the edge and I bawled my eyes out in the bathroom.

Anyone who met me after that doesn't know this story I've never told anyone I cant bring myself to talk about it irl it was awful.

All I need to know now is how one gets Poddle from Pat...?!

Mine was recently. Due to covid the parking situation at my kids school is dire, resulting and a lot of us squeezing into a nearby church carpark. At pickup I was reversing out and someone drove in the entrance. We were a bit stuck so I reversed a bit more to give them room so move forward off the road and backed into another mum's car in front of soooooo many parents. Luckily only mine was damaged.

I joined a new school as a teacher and was in the school canteen to get lunch. Along come this teacher who thinks it's fine for him to push in the queue and get his food before the students, and just his manners in general were not that great. I turn around to the teacher behind me who I was in convo with and said to her "that guy is always so flipping rude". She smiled and said: "that's my husband"

Thank God she laughed it off and said "don't worry, I know how he is"

I was about 14 and at a really busy swimming pool on holiday in France in a bikini. There was a really deep dive pool and a long queue full of teens waiting to dive off the board. I got into the queue, dived in once and got out to join the queue again. Then lots of boys started staring at me, but I didn't know why and I didn't understand what they were saying either. Eventually the girl next to me pointed at my bikini top. I looked down and horrified realised that when I'd dived into the deep pool the impact of the water had pushed one of my breasts out of my bikini. I was utterly mortified...

Posting a package at the post office. The lady asked me what was inside. Instead of 'incense', I said 'incest'.

@ShrikeAttack

I'm widely accepted as unembarrassable.

I've never been embarrassed about anything.

My first husband (who was an utter dick) used to look at me in wonderment and say 'You have no sense of shame do you?'.

And no, I don't have a sense of shame. Because I've done nothing wrong. I'm not embarrassed by something that might be considered embarrassing. All embarrassment is, is when someone behaves in a way that's not considered within the norm.

I'm quite moral. I'm very pragmatic. I accept my lapses as I accept the lapses of others.

But I've never felt embarrassed. Why would I?

And then everybody clapped?

I was in the local Spoons... went to the loo, then went to the bar to order a drink. Felt a slight breeze about the arse area but thought nothing of it. Waited ages to get served... then felt a tap on my shoulder. This sweet guy told me that my skirt was tucked into my tights... my black skirt into my red tights, so not subtle at all. I wanted to die. I bet they took pics on their phone.

No @Monsterjuice obviously nobody clapped.

Because it wasn't a performative post.

I don't get embarrassed and I don't feel shame.

Why should I?

I was brought up in a very Catholic environment and went to a Covent school.

It really did make me realise that shame and its societal friend embarrassment were tools that are used to mold behaviour. I don't think that makes me great or deserve applaud.

I'm very calm and don't really care what you may think about me.

I just lost the idea that other people's mad opinions mattered when I was quite young.

@Monsterjuice, nobody ever clapped. It's generally abuse. I support women. There's never been any clapping.

I've had five abortions. No fucker's clapping that. I absolutely advocate each and every one. I don't feel any embarrassment or shame.

Why should I?

Well this lighthearted thread has taken a strange turn....

Is it a medal you’re after @ShrikeAttack?

Lighthearted thread where people are sharing stories ... if you don’t want to contribute then why even comment? To make everyone else feel small for feeling embarrassed? Your upbringing did you well.

I’ve enjoyed reading these and will post one of my own as soon as I can remember one. There will definitely be plenty!

We still got the dog. But I don't think I'll ever live down the shameful fact that it looked like a piss stained ST stuck to my kitchen door.

This one really made me laugh. 🤣

Glad you got the dog and some help with your OCD.

It just got even weirder

@BradPittsLeftTit You can say that again...

Too many moments of dire cringe for me to single one out, but give me time and I could fill this thread. It has been useful to me though with the DC when they've been utter bastards in public. I just threaten to start singing/dancing and they become utter angels... which has just reminded me of a moment that still makes my stomach feel like a salted slug.

Strike...FYI we don't care either

No @Yayayaya20, I don't want anyone to feel embarrassed. Embarrassment comes from a feeling of shame and not being good enough.

I'm not after a medal, applause, anything. I just don't want people to feel embarrassed about making perfectly human mistakes.

We only feel embarrassed when we feel we've done something wrong. I don't want people to feel wrongness for being human. There are things that are unequivocally wrong, most human foibles don't fall under those auspices.

People be peopling.

I barely knew now DP, we'd only met a few times. I was going out shopping with my DC & mentioned it to him. Turned out he was going to be near where we were likely to be with his DC, but there was never a suggestion we'd meet, it was more of a 'oh, we're going there too today.'

DC started being utter bastards, so I said 'if you don't stop it, I will embarrass you in public.' They didn't stop. So I started doing the Lelli Kelly song, with a dance routine, in the middle of a busy mall. A few people turned to look, but walked past. DC shut up quickly. I caught sight of the back of a man's head as I ostentatiously curtseyed. It was him. And yes, he had walked past the entire performance. And seen everything.

I still die inside.

Used to live in a houseshare and at one point there was an unoccupied bedroom next door that was unlocked.
One day, I was really tired and my boyfriend was doing stuff in the room so I decided to go to the spare room for a nap.
I’d just had a bath so dried myself off and got into the spare bed naked.

About 20 minutes later the door bursts open and my landlord is there showing a prospective tenant around, and I am just lying naked under the sheets. I still can’t look him in the eye.

When a patient asked if I was Mandy Dingle

To be fair o think I might start putting Zooflora ST on the back of the cat litter tray and boys bedroom doors. A very useful life hack!!