THE singular most embarrassing moment of your life?

OlympicProcrastinator · 2021-07-01T18:29:05+00:00

You know, the one that pops in to your head at 3am 15 years later and you can still feel the burning shame? I’ll start. Met a client at work and introduced myself, asked their name. It was a fairly unusual name so began making small talk about it / origins, someone I used to know with same name etc etc. Then….for some reason I just completely forgot what we were talking about and followed it up with, “So anyway, you haven’t told me your name”. Que a look of bemusement then disdain from him as he shook his head and said, “I think you’d better go away now”. It was just so awful. I shuffled off. I saw him a few weeks later with a friend and he was pointing and laughing at me. That was 20 years ago. I Still cringe. There was a cracking one on here a few years ago where a woman had gone to a wedding she didn’t like and was slagging it off by text to her husband. Except it wasn’t her husband. She’d accidentally text the bride!! Who promptly told her she was blocked forever. Anyone care to share theirs?

CoRhona · 01/07/2021 19:35

Have you seen the thread about lazy journalism? This will be very popular...

Original poster

OlympicProcrastinator · 01/07/2021 19:37

Have you seen the thread about lazy journalism? This will be very popular

It would have taken no time to look at my long posting history rather than make a spiteful comment on a light hearted thread.

OP posts:

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 01/07/2021 19:39

I can't think of anything.
I do daft stuff but I just don't get embarrassed.

But my favourite one of someone I know is this: on a Sunday evening this school mum texted her husband: "so do you want to fuck or not?"
only she didn't actually text him, but posted on the class WhatsApp by accident.
🤣🤣
I happened to be the first one to see it a good 10 mins later so she didn't even realise she did that until I replied "that is the question"

CoRhona · 01/07/2021 19:43

Op I didn't say you were a lazy journalist as I have no idea who you are. Nope, haven't looked at your history either.

You could be absolutely anyone.

Mymapuddlington · 01/07/2021 19:44

When I was 10 my parents asked if I wanted to go to the beach with them early in the morning, I grabbed the previous days trousers and threw them on.
At the cafe on the beach I’m with dad ordering, I walk out to sit with mum with my drink. Unbeknownst to me, the previous days rolled up knickers were lodged in my trouser leg and fell out the bottom, my poor dad picked them up and shoved them in his pocket bless him.

I also spent 8 years calling someone ‘Finns mum’ whenever we met we’d just say hi and have a chat, then she got Facebook and said I should add her, I didn’t know how to tell her that I had no idea of what her name was

MaskingForIt · 01/07/2021 19:46

Anyone prone to lying awake at 3 am worrying about an event that happened 20 years ago should listen to the “Adrift” podcast by Geoff Lloyd and Annabelle Port.

play.acast.com/s/adrift

stressbandit · 01/07/2021 19:46

Why does everyone always assume someone's a journalist it's so boring to keep seeing the same comment pop up fucking hell.

Anyway OP I have so many the worst was probably when I was struggling to carry my shopping home. I struggled across the road to the middle lights and popped the bags down. A few cars started beeping at me and waving at me.
I waved back. The lights had changed to let me cross so I started to cross, and the beeping got more intense. I'd only left a massive bag of shopping at the first lights I'd set down to press the button.
I had to put the shopping down wait for the lights to change again and cross back and get it.
Why did I wave at the cars 😭😭.

Original poster

OlympicProcrastinator · 01/07/2021 19:52

@Mymapuddlington haha you have reminded me when I did something similar and thought I was being clever by saying, “remind me how I spell your name so I can look you up?” And she replied sarcastically, “what? Alex?”. She never spoke to me again

OP posts:

MaskingForIt · 01/07/2021 19:52

For my own part, I was invited to my friend’s wedding, but was running late. I was mortified to have to creep into the back of the church when the service had already started. I recognised no-one and pulled the invitation out of my bag, only to be further mortified when realised that I was not in fact late but early. So early I had just walked in on another wedding 😳

Drivingmeupthewall · 01/07/2021 21:34

@CoRhona

Op I didn't say you were a lazy journalist as I have no idea who you are. Nope, haven't looked at your history either.

You could be absolutely anyone.

Oh for Christ’s sake, you heavily implied the OP was a journalist. Don’t backtrack now.

DM journo hunters are almost as tedious as troll hunters.

If you think it’s a journo, don’t post on it.

Drivingmeupthewall · 01/07/2021 21:37

I was absolutely mangled drunk at a posh hotel with my husband. And due to holding half a conversation in my head and half garbled out loud, I said that something that sounded like I was inviting the lone male guest that we’d been chatting to to have a threesome. No fucking idea what I said, I can’t remember, but I remember the looks on their faces. I’d been innocently trying to talk about how my girlfriends and me always save money by sharing rooms but it must have come out wrong. Very wrong. Boy did he scarper…

ImprobablePuffin · 01/07/2021 22:11

Oh my god I have so many, I'm a walking embarrassment to myself.

The one that haunts me is going to my first ever boyfriends house. So about 22 years ago.
His mum was absolutely terrifying and put the fear of god into me. And she didn't like me because she thought I was an idiot (I'm actually reasonably intelligent but just turned into a bumbling mess around her)

Anyway I offered to help with the dinner or at least I tried to. What I actually did was walk up to her in the kitchen and as she spun round and caught me with her hatred filled eyes I just panicked, proceeded to try and talk but all that came out was "Blortgon". I immediately went bright red and dropped my glass of squash, smashing the glass all over the kitchen floor.

I wanted to die. And still do when it pops into my head at 3am, I physically recoil with shame thinking about it.

KnickersOnTheLine · 01/07/2021 22:34

My DM had a similar issue with the name of another school mum. Our 2 families had both just moved to the area so they struck up a friendship as we lived a couple of streets from each other and they both had boys in the same class. This lady had a strong accent and my DM didn’t quite catch her name and as time went on it became too awkward to ask. She tried everything to get the name said, but never succeeded. Several months later we got a Christmas card from them, husband and kids names all clearly written, and the mums name finally in black and white - Poddle. So now she has the name, my DM invites their family for dinner. And says “would you like me to pass you the peas, Poddle?” To complete silence and open mouths of this family. You can see where this is going - the poor woman was actually called Pat

heidi128 · 01/07/2021 22:50

Selling pregnant items at a car booth lady came to look and I asked her when she was due. Unfortunately she wasn't pregnant. Didn't by a thing, I was mortified

In premier inn restaurant and asked daughter to not forget her fidget spinner (unfortunately I called it kiddy fiddler). Everyone stated and I made a quick exit

IsItMeOrIsItYou · 01/07/2021 23:02

@KnickersOnTheLine

My DM had a similar issue with the name of another school mum. Our 2 families had both just moved to the area so they struck up a friendship as we lived a couple of streets from each other and they both had boys in the same class. This lady had a strong accent and my DM didn’t quite catch her name and as time went on it became too awkward to ask. She tried everything to get the name said, but never succeeded. Several months later we got a Christmas card from them, husband and kids names all clearly written, and the mums name finally in black and white - Poddle. So now she has the name, my DM invites their family for dinner. And says “would you like me to pass you the peas, Poddle?” To complete silence and open mouths of this family. You can see where this is going - the poor woman was actually called Pat

How did Poddle come from Pat?!

BraveBraveMouse · 01/07/2021 23:06

I never get that feeling anymore OP, I just don't care.

Not sure if it's a result of age, emotional maturity or what.

SunscreenCentral · 01/07/2021 23:14

@BraveBraveMouse

I never get that feeling anymore OP, I just don't care.

Not sure if it's a result of age, emotional maturity or what.

Me neither. I think it's a kind of "scorched earth" situation

MrsXx4 · 01/07/2021 23:16

@KnickersOnTheLine

My DM had a similar issue with the name of another school mum. Our 2 families had both just moved to the area so they struck up a friendship as we lived a couple of streets from each other and they both had boys in the same class. This lady had a strong accent and my DM didn’t quite catch her name and as time went on it became too awkward to ask. She tried everything to get the name said, but never succeeded. Several months later we got a Christmas card from them, husband and kids names all clearly written, and the mums name finally in black and white - Poddle. So now she has the name, my DM invites their family for dinner. And says “would you like me to pass you the peas, Poddle?” To complete silence and open mouths of this family. You can see where this is going - the poor woman was actually called Pat

I couldn’t see where it was going?!? I don’t get it? What’s Poddle got to do with the name Pat?

Howshouldibehave · 01/07/2021 23:20

Poddle from Pat?!

ShitPoetryClub · 01/07/2021 23:42

The best I've ever read was on here a few years back, the poster was leading a conference, stood up at the beginning of the event and said "Hello, I'm Nigella Lawson", except she wasn't and she had no idea why she said it.

There was also another poster who was greeting guests at a conference, she shook hands with one delegate, leaned in towards her and whispered in her ear "Do one" for no reason at all.

I have never forgotten these and when I have an embarrassing moment I realise things could be worse.

Summerfun54321 · 01/07/2021 23:47

I need more on the Poddle/Pat confusion story too!

8Track · 01/07/2021 23:48

@ShitPoetryClub - Angela Hernandez?

Staffy1 · 02/07/2021 00:26

Maybe it was on the card as “Pattie” which could possibly look like Poddle in a scrawled hand-writing.

DoverCliffs · 02/07/2021 00:28

I was once entering a large multi storey car park which required you to drive around each floor, going through some narrow 6 foot speed barriers several times on each floor. I was a newly qualified driver and very nervous and took ages to get through the barriers so cars were starting to queue up behind me.
I panicked and in an attempt to get away went up the spiral which was meant for the cars leaving the car park.
I went up one floor and exited almost crashing into another car which was leaving the car park.
If I was a few seconds later we would have met in the middle of the spiral and it would have been impossible to reverse so I imagine a crane would have been required to remove my car.
30 years later I still wake up in a sweat thinking about what might have happened.

Fuckitfuckit · 02/07/2021 00:38

So I'd seen a cleaning hack, or atleast a hack to make the house smell nice.
Use sanitary towels with Zoflora and dot around the house.
So I happily set to doing that, and it caused a bit of relief from my OCD. The smell was reassuring at the time.

We had a home check, to see that our house was suitable for a dog.
We set about cleaning, making the house extra nice for the people who were to judge us.

DH knew about the STs dotted around, and they were behind many doors that we don't tend to move. So kitchen, living room.

We were all sat in the kitchen, having a lovely chat.
DH decides to close the kitchen door. Which is behind me.

As they're getting up to leave, I realise that one of my incredibly inventive STs soaked in Zoflora is stuck to the side of the door that everyone's been staring at. Behind my head.

We still got the dog. But I don't think I'll ever live down the shameful fact that it looked like a piss stained ST stuck to my kitchen door.

It did push me to get some help for the OCD though.

I still wonder if they tell people that it was the strangest home check they ever did