THE singular most embarrassing moment of your life?

[OlympicProcrastinator]

You know, the one that pops in to your head at 3am 15 years later and you can still feel the burning shame?

I’ll start. Met a client at work and introduced myself, asked their name. It was a fairly unusual name so began making small talk about it / origins, someone I used to know with same name etc etc. Then….for some reason I just completely forgot what we were talking about and followed it up with, “So anyway, you haven’t told me your name”. Que a look of bemusement then disdain from him as he shook his head and said, “I think you’d better go away now”. It was just so awful. I shuffled off.
I saw him a few weeks later with a friend and he was pointing and laughing at me. That was 20 years ago. I Still cringe.

There was a cracking one on here a few years ago where a woman had gone to a wedding she didn’t like and was slagging it off by text to her husband. Except it wasn’t her husband. She’d accidentally text the bride!! Who promptly told her she was blocked forever.

Anyone care to share theirs?

@icecreamgirl94

Working as a checkout girl in the run up to Christmas back when I was a teen, serving these 2 really hot guys who were totally out of my league. I kept my head down as I knew I’d go red if I caught their eyes. One of them says “so what are your plans for Christmas?” I then spent a good couple of minutes talking about seeing this family member and that family member and what time I’d be going to each house and what I’d be eating, while the guy who asked the question just stared at me looking mildly frightened. When I finally finished talking he just turned to the other guy and said “so, CRAIG, what are YOUR plans for Christmas?” Turns out he hadn’t been speaking to me at all. I died several times over. On another occasion in the same job I’d had a song stuck in my head all day after hearing it the night before. Serving a customer and instead of saying “are you paying cash or card?” I just blurted out the words to the song “spin me faster like a kaleidoscope” but in the tone I would have used to ask the question. The woman looked bemused and said “sorry?” so I fronted it out, looked her dead in the eye and said “I said are you paying cash or card?” while everything inside me prayed that I’d fall into the deepest of black holes immediately.

The second one is hilarious.

Reminds me of DD who used to work at River Island and would spend all day on the till, with her head elsewhere. She came home mortified as she had been day dreaming about how much she hated the job. She handed her customer her bag and change then gave a loud chirpy “have a bad day” without thinking.

At the age of nineteen, I sleepwalked naked into the taxi rank across the road from my flat.

The first thing I remember was trying to hide myself behind an office chair. The police were called. I honestly had no idea how I'd come to be there.

I was in my first job working in a bakers and really liked a guy who worked in shop nearby who used to come in to but his lunch every day and I would be desperate to serve him when he did.
So one day when I left work to go home and walked through town I saw him ahead of me having left his shop and follwed behind. He went to the station so I followed too. I normally got the bus as the train didn't go my way! Anyhow I saw which steps he went up to the platform and bought a ticket going one station along the line. I found myself a space in the carriage he was in and tried to act really the cool 17 year old. As the train approached the stop I had paid to get off at lot's of people started opening doors and hopping off as the train slowed down. So I thought I'd try that and ended up on the floor outside the train on the platform. He still didn't come to my rescue and I had to walk all the way home with grazed knees. That was about 35 years ago and I still cringe when I think about it but do have a laugh about it too 😆

No me, but my friend had to go for a health check up before she started a new job - blood pressure, a few health questions, etc. - that sort of thing. Towards the end of the appointment, the GP said something like, “That’s fine”, but for some reason she heard, “Take your tights off”, so she stood up and took her tights off. The worst bit was that once she had realised her error she had to stand there and put them back on again.

Fairly mild one but I was once viewing a house and the owners were present, which I don't like anyway but they seemed very pleasant. There was a new book on the table and to make conversation I said (which was true) "I didn't like that one, disappointing compared to her others".
They said we haven't read it yet, she gave it to us as a present. (personal friend).

I was swinging on my chair during my GCSE maths exam when it shot out behind me, the desk collapsed and I went flying with an enormous crash, right in the middle of a very silent exam hall.

Even my teacher was trying not to laugh.

I hope your hangover isn’t too bad this morning shrikeattack

The rest are so funny I’ve been belly laughing before work today, thank you! ‘Blorgton’ made me weep with laughter. You poor thing ElaborateSalad, that must have been terrifying.

I work for an organisation where two companies are based in one building. I asked a colleague what the guy who sat on the end desk was called and then happily said morning John, hi John and so on every day for 6 months. Until I said it in front of a colleague who hissed that’s Mike. Everyone thought it was hilarious but I was so embarrassed I got the sweats just thinking about it. John sat on the opposite end desk.

Mike left recently and I was the only one in our company he copied in to his leaving email. Not sure if that was because I was such a memorable idiot.

@TangoWhiskyAlphaTango

Mine was at a school disco I was around 13, the height of awkward feelings anyway. It was early on and everybody was standing around the edge too embarrassed to be the first on the dance floor. My mate asked me to ask the DJ for a song request so I went over to him at the head of the dance floor some little prick boy ran up behind me and whipped down my trousers including my pants so I was stood there with my bare arse out at 13 to the entire school year. That moment when I realised I had to bend over and pick them up was the most embarrassing of my life!!!!! What a nasty shit head.

Oh my God that is so traumatic!! You poor thing. What a little bastard! Hope karma got him

@garlictwist

I was swinging on my chair during my GCSE maths exam when it shot out behind me, the desk collapsed and I went flying with an enormous crash, right in the middle of a very silent exam hall.

Even my teacher was trying not to laugh.

Lol!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

My DH is always pulling right corkers when it comes to embarrassing things, it just makes me love him more though, I do my fair share too but this one still makes me chuckle!
When we first met, I lived in halls at uni with a shared bathroom. DH gets up in the middle of the night for a poo, only it turned out to be a rather large poo which wouldn't flush. He decides, being too "cool" to be the type to block the communal loo with a huge poo to pick it out of the toilet wrapped in toilet paper and take it out to the big bins to dispose of, simple. Only he got locked out, by the heavy fire doors, at 3am, in his boxers. Me being a very heavy sleeper did not hear his pleas to come back in and had to be let in hours later once being seen by all the students leaving for lectures. He didn't even tell me the truth until years later about why he'd been out on the balcony in his boxers all night!

@PrettyLittleFlies

I took my daughter to see a specialist who introduced herself by saying, "Hi, I'm Marcia" to which, inexplicably, I replied, "Hi, I'm Marcia".

Too funny 😂 laughing my ass off here 🤣

@mayaknew that must have been really tough, poor you!

I do see Shrike's POV in a lot of what she says, however the things that would wake me in a cold sweat are things I've done that are completely twattish and completely wrong of me.

We once had some American clients visiting and one of them went to high give me as I walked down the office corridor.

Typical awkward English girl I tried to give it a go but completely missed and smacked the person stood next to him in the face

I received a party invite from a mum at DD's nursery so I texted the number on it saying thank you DD will be attending.

About 10 mins later I was sat watching This Morning and they were doing a piece on making a will and the importance of saying where you would want your children to live if you were to die. So I (lightheartedly) texted my Mum to say 'if me and DH die will you have the kids'? But no, it wasn't my Mum I'd texted, it was the Mum from nursery who I'd never met. When I realised my mistake I went red and had that feeling of horror come over me, I hoped she'd see the funny side so I sent another message saying 'oops sorry that was meant for my Mum, been watching something about making a will hahahah' she replied

'Excuse me?'

I didn't reply. Every time I went to nursery to drop DD off I did it quick as I could as I didn't know what this Mum looked like so I couldn't avoid her! And no, I didn't take DD to the party

[quote ShrikeAttack]@Monsterjuice, nobody ever clapped. It's generally abuse. I support women. There's never been any clapping.

I've had five abortions. No fucker's clapping that. I absolutely advocate each and every one. I don't feel any embarrassment or shame.

Why should I?[/quote]

You should quite frankly be embarrassed about this post.

It proves that you can't read situations, which you probably mistakenly believe is "not being shamed/embarrassed."

Aargh, cringing just thinking about it from over 20 years ago.
So, I caught up with an old uni friend I hadn't seen since I'd had dc. She had been a mature student, my dm's age and had gc. Relevant.
I'd told her I didn't go out anymore since dc. She invited me on a night out with her group of friends to celebrate a huge annual event where we live.
I have social anxiety as it is and felt out of my depth with this large group of older women. I had nothing to contribute to their conversations. (I was 27. They were discussing retirement plans, downsizing, DG etc) I began drinking quicker through nerves.
One of the women's son's sent a bottle of champagne over. We'd only been drinking half lagers. I'd drained my lager and now my glass of fizz. One of the other women who, had been patronising to me all evening, had declined her glass. I noticed one of the other women put a couple of glasses of lager on the shelf. Assuming, she'd gone the bar and got the round in, I picked one up and was drinking it. I saw patronising woman nudge the other woman and it dawned on me that they'd got themselves a drink because they weren't having champagne. My friend looked around and said "oh where did you get that?" I tried to style it out saying "X has been the bar and got the round in." I was dying inside. I felt all the side eyes and head tilts. It sounds ridiculous reading that back. But it's a serious no no drinking someone else's drink. I never went out with them again. Only met up with friend once after that - party at her house. The one I stole off wouldn't look at me. It was years later. I wished I'd gone over and gave her the £1.50 she was still smarting over now! 😳

@Wincarnis

Went to a family gathering, old auntie greeted me loudly with “oh here she is, blooming… when are you due dear?” I wasn’t expecting. Just fat.

I had this with a randomer at a bus stop. He asked me when I was due, I told him I wasn't. Cue ten minutes of awkward silence before the bus arrived, with him occasionally commenting that my dress did me no favours, as it made me look pregnant.

@MonicaGellerBing that's hilarious

I don't think shrike realises just how unusual it is to really not give a shit. But fair play if she doesn't care what people think, i wish i could have a bit of that (but not with the Catholic upbringing)

Not mine but
Once I was sat at the village post office car park and a woman got in my car (passenger seat) and said come on then! She looked at me, I looked at her! No idea who she was. She went so red. I'm sorry she said your car is just like mine! She got out apologetic and went to a complete different colour car and got in the driver seat. I feel her embarrassing moment years later. I wonder if she does

I have had many fine moments of embarrassment, but the one that immediately comes to mind was reporting a car incident to the police on the phone. I was very pleased with myself for having made a note of the number plate, and even more pleased with myself for being oh so clever and knowing the phonetic alphabet.

Which is obviously why I said "Y for Wanky".

I then became extremely flustered, and said "Oh God, I didn't mean wanky, I meant wanky".

Fortunately the police call handler had a sense of humour.

Thought of another (I could write a book).

GP wrapping BP sleeve around my arm -
Me: I expect my heart is racing. I'm on tenterhooks. My daughter has gone to pick up her A level results
GP: what's she taking?*
Me: English, psychology and....
GP interrupting: No. You. Dosage. What dosage medication are you taking?

*I'd misheard with her heavy accent

For background... every year in the Army, you have to do certain tests/courses. Some obvious, like weapons. Others are things like alcohol awareness.

We had ranges and alcohol awareness in the same day (TA as it was back then, they did a lot of these tests in one weekend). We had had just had first aid. We had our rifles with us all day.

I walked into Alcohol Awareness and sat down. Except I somehow missed the chair, which I hit my head on, knocking myself out. I fell onto the rifle. I came too a minute later with one officer seeing if I was alright and the other berating everyone for not doing appropriate first aid in an actual emergency situation.

I had concussion and broke the rifle. My whole arm was badly bruised. Known afterwards as the one who got concussion in the alcohol awareness and broke a rifle...