THE singular most embarrassing moment of your life?

[OlympicProcrastinator]

You know, the one that pops in to your head at 3am 15 years later and you can still feel the burning shame?

I’ll start. Met a client at work and introduced myself, asked their name. It was a fairly unusual name so began making small talk about it / origins, someone I used to know with same name etc etc. Then….for some reason I just completely forgot what we were talking about and followed it up with, “So anyway, you haven’t told me your name”. Que a look of bemusement then disdain from him as he shook his head and said, “I think you’d better go away now”. It was just so awful. I shuffled off.
I saw him a few weeks later with a friend and he was pointing and laughing at me. That was 20 years ago. I Still cringe.

There was a cracking one on here a few years ago where a woman had gone to a wedding she didn’t like and was slagging it off by text to her husband. Except it wasn’t her husband. She’d accidentally text the bride!! Who promptly told her she was blocked forever.

Anyone care to share theirs?

Went to a very posh engagement party in Kensington Palace Gardens many years ago. Much free champagne later a guy suggested we sneak upstairs to see to one of the bedrooms if we can see into Princess Diana's apartment - you can see where this is going...

All getting hot and heavy when suddenly the lights go on and there's a very stern looking woman standing over us. The mother of the guy's fiancee.

OMFG.

Many years ago my then DH and I were driving through a Welsh village and I spotted a man laying face down on the pavement, I shouted to DH to stop, then ran over to said man asking him if he was ok etc etc and also trying to remember the sequence for CPR. When the man looked up he was quite surprised at my concern as he was only trying to reach the stop cock outside his house!

Got a bit carried away with daydreaming in the dentist's chair (and under heavy anesthetic too) and started licking her finger (you know, in that way that you probe the new filling / tooth gap with your tongue).
I want to fall through the ground right now when remembering this.

@Sarahlou63

Went to a very posh engagement party in Kensington Palace Gardens many years ago. Much free champagne later a guy suggested we sneak upstairs to see to one of the bedrooms if we can see into Princess Diana's apartment - you can see where this is going...

All getting hot and heavy when suddenly the lights go on and there's a very stern looking woman standing over us. The mother of the guy's fiancee.

OMFG.

Were you getting off with the bloke whose engagement party it was?!

Not me but a friend of a friend (honestly!)
On holiday in French alps. All the others went skiing, this man stayed in the chalet. Did a poo in the toilet and it wouldn’t flush. Thought he’d wait a bit and then try again, but the maid came in to clean. Not wanting to leave it there with no explanation he thought he’d try to explain, except he spoke no French, so he beckoned her over, lifted the lid, pointed at the turd and then proceeded to flush the toilet to show it wasn’t working. It flushed.

@garlictwist

I was swinging on my chair during my GCSE maths exam when it shot out behind me, the desk collapsed and I went flying with an enormous crash, right in the middle of a very silent exam hall.

Even my teacher was trying not to laugh.

This is by far the funniest story on here, I'm sniggering just thinking about that chair shooting off and you collapsing on the floor 😂😂😂

@Drivingmeupthewall Spot-on.

Got a bit carried away with daydreaming in the dentist's chair (and under heavy anesthetic too) and started licking her finger (you know, in that way that you probe the new filling / tooth gap with your tongue).
I want to fall through the ground right now when remembering this.

🤣🤣🤣 I am actually crying...and dying for you here. 🤣🤣🤣

Shrikeattack, I genuinely hope you're OK mate, I think the purpose of the thread is just to share funny stories.

This one's my DHs. He had started a new job in a hospital lab and was on his way out of the hospital car park one rainy evening when an elderly lady stepped out in front of him in just her nightie and slippers. He asked if she was OK and she said the hospital had just discharged her and that she was going to have to catch the bus home, said she lived about 3 miles away. He took pity on her and was helping in her into his car when 2 nurses came running up and stopped him. She had absconded off the dementia care ward.
It looked like he had been in the process of kidnapping an old lady.

@ShrikeAttack oh my god. You may not get embarrassed but I'm absolutely cringing for you myself here

Years ago on a night out I bumped into a colleague who had been 'off sick' that day. We joked about how I would grass him up, which obviously I had no intention of doing. I subsequently forgot about the topic of our chat, and on Monday, when a group of us sat around in the break room, I asked him how his night was. He said 'I wasn't out on Saturday night'. I said 'yes you were, I talked to you!' This went on for some moments as the atmosphere became more awkward, and with him eventually insisting it must have been his brother I spoke to. It then dawned on me that his manager was sitting in the group with us, and that he had pulled a sickie. I was so embarrassed- not least because I was younger than the rest of them and had always felt quite shy about getting involved in group discussions in the break room. God it was awful.

Surely the 'Poddle/Pat' confusion is that the poster didn't know the mum's name; finally got a Christmas card and thought it had been revealed; didn't realize this was one of those tiresome families who signs from their pets as well; so thought that 'Poddle (the cat)' was the mum's unusual name or nickname. I presume either the mum's name was omitted for some reason or the poster thought 'Pat' was another child.

One from me. Was sat having my hair done at a salon in the city centre. The hairdresser was chatting away. She said ' do you park in the centre?' to which I spent a good five minutes explaining how I didn't like the centre car park, it wasn't ideally placed and I usually use a car park blah blah so dull etc. On and on I went about the parking in the city

She said ' err ok! So do you PART your HAIR in the centre?!!'

Your second example is far worse, in my opinion. The first one, where a person forgot they had asked about the other chap's unusual name, just made her look stupid but they weren't friends and we meet people who act daft all the time.

Slagging off a wedding (and we've all been to some odd gatherings), when you've accepted hospitality, is not on and certainly not by text or email; I mean, you might say something to your husband or friend. I expect the bride was extremely hurt, we all would be.

@Howshouldibehave

Poddle from Pat?!

I once worked with someone called Mrs Seed and I regularly called her Mrs Bird, genuinely by accident!

In premier inn restaurant and asked daughter to not forget her fidget spinner (unfortunately I called it kiddy fiddler).

😂 😂

One memory that doesn't just embarrass me but also make me angry is the time we were at in-laws. All dh siblings there too for a meal. It was our child birthday that day. Mil birthday the week before. No one acknowledged our child's birthday (they had sent gifts beforehand). Then after dinner sil leaves the room and comes back with a birthday cake lit up with candles. Our child's face lights up and I think oh how lovely!!!. We all sing happy birthday except at the end everyone went "happy birthday toooo mom, happy birthday to youuuuu". Birthday cake was actually for mil not child who's birthday it was. Child looked so upset, I was mortified as id sang our child's name instead of mil, and dh just tried to act like nothing happened.

@Howshouldibehave

Were you getting off with the bloke whose engagement party it was?!

No, another guest. He hadn't thought to mention he was engaged.

@Tubbytele

I joined a new school as a teacher and was in the school canteen to get lunch. Along come this teacher who thinks it's fine for him to push in the queue and get his food before the students, and just his manners in general were not that great. I turn around to the teacher behind me who I was in convo with and said to her "that guy is always so flipping rude". She smiled and said: "that's my husband"

Thank God she laughed it off and said "don't worry, I know how he is"

I'm sure teachers have lots of examples! A friend was on duty in the dining room and a girl came up to her and said Miss, this yoghurt smells off, what do you think? The girl lifted the bowl as the teacher lowered her head to sniff, you can imagine the rest! The girl was a member of a circus family, her father was a clown in the show, her name would be very recognisible!

Late 90s; I'm wearing those platform trainers beloved by the Spice Girls; I think they were 'Guess'. I have been driven to the crammer I started at a few weeks previously, to discover I cannot really walk in the fuckers. Ok. Ok. Develop a scrunchy toe technique and manage by some miracle to stay on my feet until lunchtime. My friend and I then leave the library and start to walk downstairs - and I fall about fifteen steps down, into the arms of the very attractive sixteen-year-old at the bottom (I was almost eighteen, I think). Everyone involved is absolutely mortified, except his slightly-less-hot mate, who laughs like a hyena. It could only have been worse if I had lost control of my bowel.
Friend and I agree to leave campus for lunch - I will need time for the heat to die down. We start to cross the busy road at the top of the hill. White van comes around the corner. I pick up speed. He's still coming; I'm
only halfway across the road. Friend is urging me on in panicked tones. Man sounds horn and slams on brakes. I fling myself across the road - into the window of the bridal shop opposite. Knock myself out for about a minute. Come to to find an anxious crowd including white van man who confesses he 'thought I'd farking killed you, love.' Returned to college with massive goose egg on head, to find people still
talking about it.
Trainers went in the bin.

[quote Sarahlou63]@Howshouldibehave

Were you getting off with the bloke whose engagement party it was?!

No, another guest. He hadn't thought to mention he was engaged. [/quote]
OMG!!

@PrettyLittleFlies

I took my daughter to see a specialist who introduced herself by saying, "Hi, I'm Marcia" to which, inexplicably, I replied, "Hi, I'm Marcia".

I was in a group of friends at an event and a few people had been saying “Is Joe coming?” so when Joe turned up I already knew his name, even though we had never met before. I turned to say hello to him and said “Hi, Joe” to which he replied “Oh, that’s funny, I’m Joe too”. Broke the ice though, we’ve been married 7 years .

I'm not sure if this was the most embarrassing but it was up there.

The first time my now husband and I had sex, I accidentally sneezed in his mouth! I just couldn't stop it! Haha. Luckily he wasn't phased at all.

@ImprobablePuffin

Oh my god I have so many, I'm a walking embarrassment to myself.

The one that haunts me is going to my first ever boyfriends house. So about 22 years ago.
His mum was absolutely terrifying and put the fear of god into me. And she didn't like me because she thought I was an idiot (I'm actually reasonably intelligent but just turned into a bumbling mess around her)

Anyway I offered to help with the dinner or at least I tried to. What I actually did was walk up to her in the kitchen and as she spun round and caught me with her hatred filled eyes I just panicked, proceeded to try and talk but all that came out was "Blortgon". I immediately went bright red and dropped my glass of squash, smashing the glass all over the kitchen floor.

I wanted to die. And still do when it pops into my head at 3am, I physically recoil with shame thinking about it.

Thank you for sharing this! It made me laugh so hard!

In premier inn restaurant and asked daughter to not forget her fidget spinner (unfortunately I called it kiddy fiddler).

😮 😂