AIBU - Saturday Night England Match??

[CityMumma78]

Hey everyone, please help me…
This Saturday we are due to go out with my parents to celebrate their special wedding anniversary. We are going out to a low key basic chain restaurant with our kids and my brother and his kids and we have two tables booked for 7pm. This arrangement has been in place for 1 week and we all live local so no special guests travelling from miles around to attend. Last week when we were arranging the evening we didn’t even consider the Euro fixtures but because England won last night and are playing on Saturday night we REALLY want to watch the game! I asked my parents if they could change the booking by half an hour which would allow us enough time for a leisurely dinner and taking into account the drive home this would enable us to watch the 2nd half. I have checked at the restaurant and there is plenty of availability to make a slightly earlier booking but when I spoke to my parents last night they have refused, point blank refused to change the booking by half an hour from 7pm to 6.30!! There is no reason other than they don’t want to. I haven’t asked them to rearrange the date I just want to bring it forward by 30 minutes but I have been made to feel guilty for even asking and I’m so angry they they can’t be more flexible to allow us to watch just part of the England game in the quarter finals. My husband doesn’t even want to go now.
Am I being unreasonable?

@JonSnowIsALoser

YANBU. This misses a point, but making a fuss and celebrating a wedding anniversary with anyone other that your spouse is weird anyway.

So you wouldn't celebrate your parents golden wedding anniversary for example?

@MachiaNelly

I'd be really pissed off if I'd arranged a special dinner, was looking forward to it, then be told the evening was going to be rushed through, under pressure, because of the bloody football. Record it.

This😡

The table booking is already time limited, and OP's parents dont want to do drinks or anything after it. No matter when it starts, the dinner has a time limit. It's just a question of whether the timer starts 30 minutes earlier or not.

Heavens above, how rude you are.

What has happened to civilisation when after all this time, pandemic and everything you can't even enjoy a meal cooked for you at a lovely restuauant and cherish your extended family, without wishing to be somewhere else.

My father died a few years ago, my mother has dementia and I would give my right arm to do this with them again.

I think your parents are being unreasonable, tbh. Half an hour difference and they’ve said no? Petty, frankly.

I just want to say, how important an anniversary is it, if it was only arranged a week ago?

YANBU btw I would definitely want to watch the football.

Cant you have an earlier meal and then all go back to yours for dessert and football ?

@Runmybathforme

I think the pair of you are horrible. So you’re going to turn up for your parents special dinner with a face like a slapped arse ? I’m loving the football, but it doesn’t come near the importance of your family.

For the love of God would people please engage their brains

Asking to move a short notice casual dinner forward by 30 minutes does not equate to saying football is more important than family

Really rude to basically tell them you want to rush through their special evening so you can be somewhere else asap. I take it you've not been separated from them for 15 months like some have during the pandemic?

Also, you sound like a proper part time fan. You didn't bother to check the fixtures before agreeing to the arrangements. I'm a part time fan too, jump on the bandwagon when it gets exciting, but I acknowledge that makes me a bit silly and I wouldn't expect it to impinge on a special evening like this.

This kind of thing really annoys me.

I had to rearrange my husbands wake because of bloody football. Absolutely no sympathy from me. Get a grip, it's a game. Your parents special anniversary should trump that.

So you want them to move the special dinner forward, and then you're going to spend the whole meal rushing, complaining that the service isn't fast enough, checking your phones for the scores... Family matters more than sport.

Its a difficult one. But no football fan is going go miss this. Your parents are the U ones here.You haven't cancelled.

@Cherrysoup

I think your parents are being unreasonable, tbh. Half an hour difference and they’ve said no? Petty, frankly.

Agreed. My mum is a petty biatch at the best of times, but even she isn't THAT petty.

Some people just like being drama llamas for the sake of it!

What has happened to civilisation when after all this time, pandemic and everything you can't even enjoy a meal cooked for you at a lovely restuauant and cherish your extended family, without wishing to be somewhere else.
I don't think people having interests, other than their family, is a new phenomenon. Trying to balance both is also nothing new.

Honestly, has nobody ever changed pre-existing plans by 30 minutes before? I get that to some, asking is a faux pas (even among close family) but some of these responses are extremely strong.

CityMumma, you know you will be able to watch the match after it has finished, many times if you want to. Go and enjoy the meal with your family and don't think about football until you get home.

Honestly, has nobody ever changed pre-existing plans by 30 minutes before? I get that to some, asking is a faux pas (even among close family) but some of these responses are extremely strong

Some ridiculous hyperbole.

It’s a fair point about manners and sticking to exciting plans but the amount people saying OP doesn’t really care about her parents because she asked if the time could move by 30 minutes has honestly stunned me

Asking to move a short notice casual dinner forward by 30 minutes does not equate to saying football is more important than family
Exactly. Its nuts.

To some, asking to move a booking by 30 minutes is a faux pas and something never to be done. I understand that mindset even if I don't share it (if one of my family members ever wanted to change plans to make them happier, I'd hope they wouldn't be too scared to ask and I'm sure I'd do my best to accommodate, within reason).

But that almost feels like a red herring, because it's clear that to half of the thread that, standing plans or not, it is never acceptable to watch a game of football if that's the precise moment when your parents want to see you.

I'm struggling to understand why wanting to move the booking from 6:30-8:30 rather than 7:00-9:00 means the OP doesn't think her parents are important?

It was organised a week ago? Sounds like a super special event.

Footy happens every 4 years, and this was delayed by covid. Watching the football is the first time things have felt normal again.

You are already agreeing to miss the first half.

I'd be switching the night out to Sunday, and watching the game Saturday. You can watch and enjoy footy, and enjoy family time too.

I don't think it means her parents aren't important to her.

But given her last post, it's clear there's more to this.

She complains that they don't organise anything. Now they have, she accepts and then tried to move it.

I do think it's rude to say that you will attend something and then turn round and say 'actually there's something I would rather be doing. So can we move it so we can see the last half of our preffered activity'

But I don't think it means she doesn't care about them. But she cares more about seeing the football than the plans she agreed to with them.

@gluteustothemaximus

It was organised a week ago? Sounds like a super special event.

Footy happens every 4 years, and this was delayed by covid. Watching the football is the first time things have felt normal again.

You are already agreeing to miss the first half.

I'd be switching the night out to Sunday, and watching the game Saturday. You can watch and enjoy footy, and enjoy family time too.

Isn't the world Cup next year?

I do think it's rude to say that you will attend something and then turn round and say 'actually there's something I would rather be doing. So can we move it so we can see the last half of our preffered activity'
But even if it is a faux pas to ask to slightly vary existing plans, surely in a loving family, you'd happily accommodate a request like the OPs with barely a moment's thought?

If anything, I think the thread shows that the OP's parents care little for her, rather than the other way around.

Its clear form ops latest posts she doesn't really care for them either.

But is irked they never plan anything. And then when they do, op wants to change it.

This thread has tickled me, sorry OP. I work in a restaurant and we were fully booked for tomorrow this time last week. Now I have less than a quarter capacity and everyone has booked for 6pm. I’ve spent my evening advising them to spread the times out (ie come in 5/10/15 mins earlier) or there is no way they will all be out and home by 8pm kick off. I’ve cancelled all my staff except the kitchen staff, so they’ve got a day with no pay because I simply can’t afford to have 8 of us on for that amount of diners.

Its clear form ops latest posts she doesn't really care for them either. But is irked they never plan anything. And then when they do, op wants to change it.
I think you're taking the wrong point from that comment.

The OP says her relationship with her parents is very one sided, and it always falls to her to make arrangements (presumably for years or decades) and maintain a relationship with her parents.

Now all of a sudden, the parents who couldn't be bothered to make any plans over the years, leaving the OP to do it all, have heroically summoned the strength to book a table at a restaurant and are acting slighted by a request to move a meal by 30 minutes.

And now she's getting a bit of a kicking for not putting family first.

It's almost a shame this is about football. I expect the responses might be different were it a different event.

But I don't think it means she doesn't care about them. But she cares more about seeing the football than the plans she agreed to with them

If she cared more about seeing the football, she would have just cancelled the meal altogether.

She wants to bring the meal forward from 7pm - 9pm to 6.30pm - 8.30pm, which is a fair compromise.