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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - Saturday Night England Match??

463 replies

CityMumma78 · 30/06/2021 23:50

Hey everyone, please help me…
This Saturday we are due to go out with my parents to celebrate their special wedding anniversary. We are going out to a low key basic chain restaurant with our kids and my brother and his kids and we have two tables booked for 7pm. This arrangement has been in place for 1 week and we all live local so no special guests travelling from miles around to attend. Last week when we were arranging the evening we didn’t even consider the Euro fixtures but because England won last night and are playing on Saturday night we REALLY want to watch the game! I asked my parents if they could change the booking by half an hour which would allow us enough time for a leisurely dinner and taking into account the drive home this would enable us to watch the 2nd half. I have checked at the restaurant and there is plenty of availability to make a slightly earlier booking but when I spoke to my parents last night they have refused, point blank refused to change the booking by half an hour from 7pm to 6.30!! There is no reason other than they don’t want to. I haven’t asked them to rearrange the date I just want to bring it forward by 30 minutes but I have been made to feel guilty for even asking and I’m so angry they they can’t be more flexible to allow us to watch just part of the England game in the quarter finals. My husband doesn’t even want to go now.
Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Bluesheep8 · 02/07/2021 13:38

@Vivi0

The OP has already said that the meal has been allocated a time slot by the restaurant so they have to leave by Xpm anyway. So yeah, it is just the 30 minutes.

Ah ok, sorry I'd missed that part

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 02/07/2021 13:55

”umm, obviously not. I have no idea who the likely lads are or what you mean”

Ohhh god - now I feel old, @ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba! Grin

Mayaspecialist · 02/07/2021 13:59

@SillyLittleBiscuit

That’s not in the same view at all. You’re not missing half the meal just having it ever so slightly earlier. Nothing like missing half a game.

OP said it’s a set time slot for dinner (I’m guessing they’ll have the table 2 hours) so no clock watching or distraction that’ll be any different to knowing you only had a 2 hour time slot 30 mins later.

And maybe they wanted to go somewhere after. For a drink, as people do.

My point wasn't that it was the same.

It was that you could say whats the point I changing the meal, to a time that doesn't suit the parents. The agreed time. So he can watch half game.

Whats the point?

SlipperyDippery · 02/07/2021 14:07

@Bluesheep8

Why refuse to bring the booking forward by half an hour? It isn’t a large-scale event with lots of guests coming from a distance; it’s simply a family meal out at a chain restaurant.

It still matters to them, regardless of scale or venue. Are they only entitled to think it matters more than football if there are more people and a posher venue?

Why are people insisting on pretending this is a massive occasion for the parents? They didn’t arrange anything til a week in advance. OP may well have had plans anyway for all they knew as they didn’t plan ahead. They’ve booked a short notice dinner out. It sounds pretty low key.
LobotomisedIceSkatingFan · 02/07/2021 14:10

Well, that episode of 'The Likely Lads' was aired ten years before I was born, but I know it because it's very famous and shown a lot, even now. I wouldn't be surprised if they put it on this week.

Odd that the poster - even if not English - knows enough pop culture to snippily tell another poster that 'avoiding the score' is a much-used sitcom trope, but is unaware of probably the archetypal use. And apparently can't guess that it's a TV series based on use of the word 'episode' and 'The Likely Lads'.

Bluesheep8 · 02/07/2021 14:12

Why are people insisting on pretending this is a massive occasion for the parents? They didn’t arrange anything til a week in advance. OP may well have had plans anyway for all they knew as they didn’t plan ahead. They’ve booked a short notice dinner out. It sounds pretty low key.

If that's the case, OP should have no qualms whatsoever about telling them she can't make it

Mayaspecialist · 02/07/2021 14:13

Why are people pretending this is a massive game and a big deal?

SlipperyDippery · 02/07/2021 14:16

@Mayaspecialist

Why are people pretending this is a massive game and a big deal?
Well it’s been front page news so objectively it kind of is a big deal I’m afraid, and the fact that you personally don’t care doesn’t mean that it isn’t important to millions of others (27 million watched the last game).
SlipperyDippery · 02/07/2021 14:17

@Bluesheep8

Why are people insisting on pretending this is a massive occasion for the parents? They didn’t arrange anything til a week in advance. OP may well have had plans anyway for all they knew as they didn’t plan ahead. They’ve booked a short notice dinner out. It sounds pretty low key.

If that's the case, OP should have no qualms whatsoever about telling them she can't make it

I agree. I think she is trying to reach a compromise though.
ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 02/07/2021 14:21

@SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius

”umm, obviously not. I have no idea who the likely lads are or what you mean”

Ohhh god - now I feel old, @ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba! Grin

@SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius

I didn't grow up in England so it's not age related for me.
just never heard of it

AryaStarkWolf · 02/07/2021 14:25

Yeah that's a bit petty of them, you probably should have told them that the restaurant changed your booking as they'd double booked you though haha

UrbanRambler · 02/07/2021 14:28

@GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing

Yabvu

You want to rush through their special anniversary dinner, and go straight home after 2 hours, to watch football? That’s so rubbish of you I don’t know where to start. These are your parents ffs

It’s also quite reasonable not to want to start at 6.30, which is not a very grown up time. All done and dusted and out of the way by 8.30, eh, OP? Not very special for their anniversary.

Agreed. YABU to make them feel like their special evening should be cut short because you want to watch some blokes kicking a ball about.
paniniswapx3 · 02/07/2021 14:31

I'm not sure why you've been given a hard time Op - it seems very unreasonable of your DPs to not move the time by 30 mins.

I'd tell them no altogether in that case and you'll rearrange for another time. The difference with me is that my family would completely understand so it wouldn't necessarily be an issue in the first place.

looptheloopinahulahoop · 02/07/2021 15:13

t isn’t just the thirty minutes though. It also means they will be clock watching for the time that they are there, then dashing off as soon as they can. I think most people would have assumed that the anniversary dinner was the whole evening, not something to get out of the way

but that's not the case because restaurants are imposing 2 hour slots. That said, maybe tomorrow they won't be, because they won't be that busy!

TheMerrickBoy · 02/07/2021 15:23

The game matters to OP and not to her parents, whose event was organised first. The dinner matters to her parents, and OP just has to decide if it matters to her or not.

In their place, I'd probably move it, but I'd be annoyed and I'd think it was really rude. Maybe they've just had enough of this frigging football business taking over everything, and being talked about as though you must give a shit all day every day....

(or maybe I'm just projecting Wink

thing47 · 02/07/2021 15:24

And maybe they wanted to go somewhere after. For a drink, as people do.

Except that the OP has already said they won't want to go for a drink either before or after the match.

It's pretty obvious that the vast majority of posters who think OP is being unreasonable aren't football fans. That's fine, I'm not either though I live with one, but OP clearly IS a fan. So opinions that it's 'just a match' are completely irrelevant to her and of no help in her situation.

thing47 · 02/07/2021 15:24

Sorry, 'dinner'. Won't want to go for a drink before or after the dinner.

RaspberryRoyale88 · 02/07/2021 15:39

This reminds me of the last time England were playing football and a bride on here didn’t want the match being shown at the venue!

I think a family event is more important than a football game.

Mayaspecialist · 02/07/2021 15:45

@thing47

And maybe they wanted to go somewhere after. For a drink, as people do.

Except that the OP has already said they won't want to go for a drink either before or after the match.

It's pretty obvious that the vast majority of posters who think OP is being unreasonable aren't football fans. That's fine, I'm not either though I live with one, but OP clearly IS a fan. So opinions that it's 'just a match' are completely irrelevant to her and of no help in her situation.

Given that this is also the first time her parents have ever organised something, how can she say they won't want to?

She hasn't experienced it before so doesn't know.

Op maybe a big foot ball fan. But she didn't only ask for football fans opinions.

And yes, even if it was something I really enjoyed, I wouldn't expect other people to change their plans when I already agreed.

The fact that they never plan something obviously, irks op or she would have mentioned it. And the one time they do, she decides to try and change their plan. Because she has to watch half of this game, that's so important she totally forgot about it.

FanfictionFan · 02/07/2021 17:43

YABU
It's only a friggin footy match, why should your parents rearrange the meal just so you can watch the second half of the match.

Lilly24 · 02/07/2021 18:00

You're basically saying that football is more important than your parents. Yes, that is ridiculously unreasonable.

Ritasdaughter1969 · 02/07/2021 18:01

It's a simple case of manners. You accepted their invitation and you should honour it, your parents surely taught you this as a child, you can't just dump someone because something better came along.

If you were football maniacs you would have known that the match was a possibility and should have made your desire to watch the match known at the time of the invite.

bellocchild · 02/07/2021 18:08

You could just leave half an hour early...

AliceLivesHere · 02/07/2021 18:20

Enjoy the football @CityMumma78 your parents are being a pain - what's 30 minutes.

Also ignore the rudeness on here.

Symposium123 · 02/07/2021 18:23

YANBU. England in the Euros quarter finals is a big deal. Whether others agree or not is irrelevant. It’s important to you (and me)!

You’ve offered to compromise by telling them you’ll miss half the match but need to bring the (recently arranged casual) meal forward by just 30 minutes, but they’ve said no. You’re therefore not free to go so you should tell them as much.