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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - Saturday Night England Match??

463 replies

CityMumma78 · 30/06/2021 23:50

Hey everyone, please help me…
This Saturday we are due to go out with my parents to celebrate their special wedding anniversary. We are going out to a low key basic chain restaurant with our kids and my brother and his kids and we have two tables booked for 7pm. This arrangement has been in place for 1 week and we all live local so no special guests travelling from miles around to attend. Last week when we were arranging the evening we didn’t even consider the Euro fixtures but because England won last night and are playing on Saturday night we REALLY want to watch the game! I asked my parents if they could change the booking by half an hour which would allow us enough time for a leisurely dinner and taking into account the drive home this would enable us to watch the 2nd half. I have checked at the restaurant and there is plenty of availability to make a slightly earlier booking but when I spoke to my parents last night they have refused, point blank refused to change the booking by half an hour from 7pm to 6.30!! There is no reason other than they don’t want to. I haven’t asked them to rearrange the date I just want to bring it forward by 30 minutes but I have been made to feel guilty for even asking and I’m so angry they they can’t be more flexible to allow us to watch just part of the England game in the quarter finals. My husband doesn’t even want to go now.
Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Quaggars · 02/07/2021 18:27

The only rudeness I can see is those who ditch or bail when a better offer comes along.
Surely must have known its a possibility they were playing on Saturday if such a football fan, should have piped up then instead of saying it was OK to go to the party that evening

Constancevariable · 02/07/2021 18:31

They’ve lived a long life, they know England will invariably lose. I’d be thinking of cutting you out of the will if I were them

I haven't read the whole thread but this made me laugh...I will watch on Saturday, but honestly, I've been following them long enough to know not to get too excited and I'm not sure I'd bother rearranging anything for them (sorry England), I've done that before and been disappointed.

TheWeeDonkeyFella · 02/07/2021 18:34

I do feel a bit sorry for your parents on this one, it wont be much fun or relaxing knowing half the table have one eye on the clock (we've been in this position with family ourselves).

Leontine · 02/07/2021 18:36

Loads of people will say YABU purely because it’s to do with football, but I don’t think amending you plans by 30 minutes when it’s easily doable is an unreasonable request at all.

mylifestory · 02/07/2021 18:37

It's not just family its a bit of a patriotic thing. Even ppl who don't usually watch the football will be watching! how does yr brother feel about it? If he's of the same mind then u CD prob pressurise more to postpone to another day, or why not make it lunch if its on the special day? 😆 Depending on kids age cd also be late for them, no? Maybe the match will be on loud in the restaurant and u can watch ignoring yr parents a bit to make yr point 😅 id ring and check

AbsolutelyPatsy · 02/07/2021 18:46

ask the restaurant to bring out a tv screen
i dont think you are being unreasonable at all

AbsolutelyPatsy · 02/07/2021 18:47

we were in a parents evening and people's phones were pinging with the results during the evening.
no body minded

maybloss2 · 02/07/2021 18:49

Hi op, well, what a collection of responses! As someone who has never celebrated someone else’s anniversary I assume this is really a special one, so important to your parents. As a product of that long lived relationship perhaps you’d want to give them a big cheer. Also aside from that it’s just plain rude to cancel or try to re arrange a booked and pre arranged commitment and you are being stroppy kids for being off about it. But that’s just my opinion. I’d never cancel on anyone unless I or someone close to me were ill. I’ve also learnt over the years not to say yes, unless pretty dam sure I want to go in the first place.
If it’s a big deal to yr parents and a one- off then imagine all the times they’ve not done something in order to be there for you?

BertramLacey · 02/07/2021 18:50

the meal on Saturday is the first thing they have ever arranged. Without going into details it’s very much a one sided relationship!

So it's the first thing they've arranged and you've basically told them that the football is more important. OK I get there's a back story, but that doesn't look great to me.

Thanks to a combination of Covid and geography I haven't seen my parents in almost 2 years. I might never see them again, given their age. I would very definitely prioritise a meal with them over a football match. Sure, you're not in the same position but I'd honestly rethink your priorities.

Chikapu · 02/07/2021 19:01

You've made a commitment to do something with your parents, stick to it and stop thinking it's less important than a ball being kicked around.

Moonwhite · 02/07/2021 19:04

It's England, it's the quarter final...

You may as well just enjoy your dinner.

Runmybathforme · 02/07/2021 19:06

I think the pair of you are horrible. So you’re going to turn up for your parents special dinner with a face like a slapped arse ? I’m loving the football, but it doesn’t come near the importance of your family.

SofiaMichelle · 02/07/2021 19:07

If you're such huge fans, OP, how did you not know the quarter finals were Friday/Saturday?

It sounds as if you're probably just bandwagon-jumping since England have got through the 16s, in which case it's really not on to put watching football on TV in front of a prearranged meal for an important occasion.

I would record it and watch it later.

Womendohavevaginasnick · 02/07/2021 19:08

Watch it on your phone?

StillWaters77 · 02/07/2021 19:08

YABVU.....for football of all things.

SimonJT · 02/07/2021 19:11

My husband has had the schedule in his diary for ages to make sure he didn’t make any plans during a match.

Asking to change prebooked plans is a bit rude, especially if you aren’t the organiser.

Localocal · 02/07/2021 19:12

I'm a footy fan, but I think it would be very hurtful of you to rush their anniversary dinner so you can get to your more interesting event. Watch it on catch up.

Rhiannon13 · 02/07/2021 19:14

A football match is more important than your parents? If I was them I'd cancel and do something without you.

TheJade · 02/07/2021 19:15

Yabu

Record the game. Turn off the radio and phones etc so you don’t hear the score and watch it when you get back. X

PeachyPeachTrees · 02/07/2021 19:16

The meal is ruined now anyway isn't it.

MouldyPotato · 02/07/2021 19:17

@PeachyPeachTrees

The meal is ruined now anyway isn't it.
Good point. Either way you've ruined it now.
Nutrafin · 02/07/2021 19:31

Good point. Either way you've ruined it now.
That's unfair. If the OP's parents weren't being irrational and unreasonable, and agreed to move the booking by 30 minutes, everyone could have a good time. They're cutting their nose off to spite their face.

JonSnowIsALoser · 02/07/2021 19:33

YANBU. This misses a point, but making a fuss and celebrating a wedding anniversary with anyone other that your spouse is weird anyway.

JonSnowIsALoser · 02/07/2021 19:35

Tell them you got pinged by the NHS Covid app and you need to self-isolate.

Thewinterofdiscontent · 02/07/2021 19:45

Meh.
They’ll either be out or you get to watch the semi’s.

It’s not like rugby where pretty much every move is a game changing decision.

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