Parents who never ask other parents for favours?

[80caloriesofbiscuitplease]

Like how do they do it?
As I'm sure a lot of you are aware, most primary schools have a primary school WhatsApp group. 90% of the chat is 'I'm going to be late' 'is anyone able to pick up Destiny on Wednesday?' 'Help I didn't know there was an inset day!'
There are about four regular mums who constantly ask these kind of things (of which I might be one )
The rest stay silent on the matters (as in they don't offer or ask) what I want to know is how the duck do they manage it?
How can you never be late, or struggle to pick up your child or cover the endless holidays? How can you never forget the date of homework's or the theme of dressing up day or the name of the TA? How can you consistently just keep all of this knowledge inside and be fulfilled and busy and well off and yet be at the school gate at five past ducking three every single day? To never look sweaty or harassed or answer emails in the park? To always have snacks that are well packed and nutritious?
How how how???

I’m a stickler for putting everything straight into my phone calendar as soon as it’s mentioned

But mostly, I also have a a amazing nanny who is a brilliant extra pair of hands and is also very organised

Because I have kids with sen so I don't exist!

There are only 2 types of parents in your scenario OP. Ones who leave enough time to get places, and others who don’t leave enough time to get places.
Yep it's the same bunch of DC waiting daily with teacher.
Everyone has a late, I fell asleep feeding DS when DD was 7 a half hour past before they called.
If its rare it's okay to ask for help but if consistency late or forgetting things you can only hold yourself responsible.

I'm an organised person and if I do need help I'll ask a family member. Not everyone is comfortable asking for help but most parents I know from school are organised or have emergency help if needed. Why would I ask for help from other parents if I don't need it?

It's a sad, insular society some of you seem to live in. We are social animals we know!
I couldn't just offer to have random children last minute as I didn't have much money when DS was young. I could afford to feed them but there weren't choices, it would have been vegemite toast if they were hungry, or vegetable curry, if that was what there was. Many children were used to a packed fridge with a million and one convenience food options. I relied on myself because I didn't feel able to reciprocate at short notice. Also, I was just used to it so just got on with it. My parents were overseas and I was a sole parent so it was always down to me.

We never asked for help, both work ft, 2 kids, no family nearby to help either. The only time I was 10 minutes late to pick up the kids from afterschool club was when I got stuck in a tube line closure and it took forever to evacuate. But I have definitely been stressed out of my mind at times and it would have been easier if I asked for help.

When mine were children I was always very organised , I worked very pt nights ( nurse) and have always been an organised person anyway , my children are now the same as adults . I used to run a cub pack and my assistant was late every week , drove me bonkers , even though I knew it was going to happen .

It's a sad, insular society some of you seem to live in. We are social animals we know!

I don’t ask for help but I have a good social life. How are the two related?

Oh I don't really tend to be late either.

Agree with PPs that when I do look at the groups for my children it's not help lift etc.

It's. Do they need to take cash for the school trip, is it an inset day day next week, I'm worried they're not getting enough history homework. That sort of thing.

I’m just organised. I have a planner and as soon as I get a letter about a trip/inset day etc it goes in the appropriate month/day in the planner. At the end of every month I review the coming month and make sure I’m prepared. My experience of the WhatsApp mums asking if anyone can pick their kid up etc is that it’s always the same ones. It’s understandable to be late/caught short but if it’s repeated then it’s just lack of preparation.

@80caloriesofbiscuitplease

But what if you're running out the office and you're stopped by someone? What about the rubbish truck that blocks the whole bloody road at ten to three? The fire alarm that goes off and leaves you trapped in the car park at work when your car keys are in your coat pocket by your desk? Do these things never happen to you all?

Well no, they don't. If someone stops me as I'm leaving work I'll interrupt them to say "sorry but I can't talk right now I'm collecting the DC from school, can you drop me an email about it please and I'll get back to you ASAP, thanks, bye".

I know, after the first time of being held up by it, what day the bin truck is out. I leave earlier for pickup that day from then onwards, just in case I get stuck behind it again.

If the building is on fire, I definitely want my bag, coat and keys, so I dash back to my desk to grab them. If the building was so huge that isn't possible I'd leave my bag in the boot of my car out of sight (putting it there as I get into the car so no opportunistic thief sees me do it after I've parked) and keep my keys in my pocket all day. So if there's a fire I only lose my coat and if I'm locked out at pickup time I can still leave work/get home fine.

School emails everything including any work they need, to both DH and I. We have shared family calendars that auto fill based on email contents. I set up week before reminders for items that require work eg dressing up day. My PA can see the calendar so I never get double booked, same with DH. We build in 20 minutes extra in case of emergencies - means we are always early and simply do emails in the car. No one looks rushed or flustered.

Snacks are packed neatly to avoid spills that take up more time. Healthy because we buy in advance and leave them in the fridge.

We also bought two versions of everything they need, which live in our cars. For example, a gymnastics kit in both my and DH’s cars. Plus change of clothes and toothbrush. Means everyone has maximum flexibility and no rushing around to pick items up.

I'm the class rep.
I work full time in a 24/7 shift role as does DH
I run a small business on the side
I have a disabled mum who requires a lot of support and I spend one day there a week
I'm the one answering the questions and no I never ask for help
I'm just very organised and have an exceptionally good memory

Also I don't work because I cannot face living with these stresses. We are not rich...we just about get by. I would help a nice, non piss taking mum in a genuine emergency but I'm not here to facilitate other people earning money

I guess I was never late as I had enough time between finishing work and getting to after school club. And I walked so was never held up. And wore trainers so I could run if I had to.

A diary, good time management, routine and there is probably a natural flair for being organised. I run a business, I don't have time for last minute flapping. Everything has to be timed on school/work days. I also have a helpful DP.

I wfh looking after other people kods for a living. I have to be organised and I have to be on time to pick kids up and drop them off for more than just one school.

1. Paid wrap around childcare as we both work full time.
2. Family calendar on our phones, liked to Alexa, who gives all updates in the morning when I ask it to start my day.
3. Bags packed the night before.
4. DH takes equal responsibility for our children, including pick ups and drop offs and sick days.

My dad helps a lot, and I don't work. I'd happily help anyone else out though and not think twice about it.

@80caloriesofbiscuitplease

I find this all very sad that some people aren't comfortable enough with eachother to ask for help when they need it. Yes I ask from time to time but I do far more than I ask. I drive whilst a lot of the other mums don't so will offer lifts to party's, when it's raining, when the mums are sick etc. I also let the other working single parents know if I've got annual leave if it helps them save money on holiday club or we do swaps. I can always rely on them and they rely on me too. It's a sad, insular society some of you seem to live in. We are social animals we know!

I never asked because I knew the answer would be no.

I had to be organised (or take the fuckups on the chin) because no fucker would help me out possibly because they were all pissed off from bailing out the same few people time and time again. If I was going to be late due to bus issues, I'd have to stump up the £20 for the after school club emergency rate. If one of them chucked up following jumping around on a full stomach of ice cream, I had to send them to school and instead of 'see you later, love you' say 'DON'T tell the teacher you were sick'.

I didn't have one minute of free child care from anybody. I paid through the nose for childminders, after school and holiday clubs. I never had a secure enough job to be able to take annual leave. Or leave early to go to a performance or collect from school 'ill'.

Conversely, my neighbour never paid for childcare once in 24 years. People would fall over themselves to help her with childcare, gifts, treats, everything. She wasn't a single parent at all, but she was clearly more likeable than I was. I don't know why that was, as I like to think I'm a pleasant person, but maybe she was just better at blagging?

Social animals still have rules and means of identifying the ones who should be pushed out of the group.

I adopt a "do it now" approach to life and have been obliged to do everything as efficiently as possible.
I do my household and business admin on my breaks at work.
My life is in my phone

Yes to Alexa. Reminders set up in there.

I'm self employed and WFH so I can fit work in around DD. I don't earn a huge wage but it has been brilliant re. child care, because we've never had that worry.

I have a work diary into which I write all important and significant days in my diary and we have a WhatsApp group between me and my husband.
I organise my own childcare and pick up/collection (even when I’m ill/unavailable) because that’s my job, it is not the other mums responsibility, it’s mine.
I work for myself so it is part of my schedule that roadworks are built into my day. I’ve never (even when I worked in prisons) known the fire alarm to go off and not had a backup plan.
I make plans a,b,c,d and e every day just in case something goes wrong.
Everything, absolutely everything in our lives is run to a schedule. Even if it’s a plan I’ve got in my head in the morning, I try and stick to it as much as possible.

@osbertthesyrianhamster

How ever did we all manage before WhatsApp was there for people to be CFers? We had to get out shit together.

Exactly this.

Knowing that you had nothing to fall back on makes you sure to get your shit together
Check school bags every night for notes etc, note EVERYTHING on the calendar. I used to say that if it ain’t on the calendar it ain’t happening.
Or in corporate wank speak, fail to plan, plan to fail