AIBU to think I'm having a baby, not opening a charity shop.

[TooManyAnimals94]

Context: I'm 30 wks pregnant with our first baby, have enough clothing bits to get us through the first month or so with LO bearing in mind we don't know how big she will be so just got a few babygros and sleepsuits in various sizes.
However...a friend of mine offered a few bits and I took her up on it, mainly because she offered a baby carrier which I do actually need and I thought its a free bag of clothes...why say no?
We met for breakfast and in the cafe carpark she opens her boot and there are like six bin bags of clothing in there. I start to say that I really don't need/want all of that and she pretty much just shoved it all in my car, laughing about how I'll get through it eventually.
As well as the general inconvenience of having to sort through so many clothes (not arranged in size or anything, just shoved in there) we have a flat with very limited storage space which she knows and I feel like she just couldn't be bothered to go to the charity shop/dump and thought she would try and make it look like she's doing me a favour.
I spoke to my mum about it who said I should just take it all to the dump and not even bother to sort through it...feels awful but probably easier. She also mentioned that all her work friends keep trying to offload stuff on me, all in the name of 'helping' me.
I'm sure I'm not the only one to have experienced this...feeling annoyed that I wasn't more assertive when she just started loading stuff into my car.
As an extra bone of contention, everything is so horrendously pink...when this friend knew I prefer neutral colours.

don't look a bag of cast offs in the mouth your sounding ratty like you would be at 30weeks pregnant but she was being kind.

Surely every problem.on here is a first world problem? "My husband is shagging my neighbour" is a first world problem for some parts of the world.

OP is pg. Maybe she doesnt want to waddle up the high street with bin bags on her back for Oxfam like Santa😂

I dress my kids in hand me does and I am grateful and love it to some extent. OP doesnt for reasons that are valid in her OP. Keeping out of guilt etc is nuts

YANBU. This happened to me when I was pregnant with my first son. Huge bin bags of mixed age clothing ‘gifted’ to me by a friend. I felt totally overwhelmed and, like you, didn’t have enough storage space in our small flat. It’s a shit thing to do, basically off loading your unwanted stuff. You are most definitely not being ungrateful. Just like other people have said, try and go through them quickly. Keep a few bits and take the rest to charity. Job done. Say no to any other offers as inevitably the handy steriliser or nearly new cot comes with a whole pile of other total shit that you don’t want or need. If I have kids stuff to give away I always ask people first it they’d like them. I wouldn’t dream of dumping stuff on a friend.

How inconsiderate of her not to have hand me downs in the colours you like🙄

I am regularly passed huge bags of clothes and am very grateful to get them. Not just for the clothes I can use but for the kindly impulse behind it. I hardly ever have to buy clothes.

I go through the bags, choose what I will use and donate rest to charity shops.
You sound arsey.

MontysMa.: I go through the bags, choose what I will use and donate rest to charity shops.
........

That is what I did. I was given some really nice things and used them gladly.

I also passed things on to a younger cousin when she was pregnant and she was delighted. However no doubt she didn't use everything, so what?

It is hardly going to hurt anyone to go through a few bags of clothes and sort them out.

My worst one was several bags of mixed up clothing. Some dirty or torn so all needed sorting and anything kept needed washing. Along with a fabric baby gym and play mat that was filthy and covered in cat hair.

I tried to clean it up but scrubbing and hoovering made no difference and I could have done without all the hassle whilst heavily pregnant. The baby gym ended up going to the tip.

It felt like my friend couldn't be bothered to sort out her own cast offs and take to tip, textile recycling and had delegated it all to me!

I would first check if she wants any of it back. Then look through it and pick out anything you like. Then charity shop the rest.

You didn’t have to say yes.

Nailed it ThursdayWeld

I actually don't think your friend was being kind. What would she have done otherwise? Taken them to a charity shop. If she wanted to sell them, she would have. It's more hassle than it's worth sometimes to sell stuff

Ha yeah its a but of a slippery slope isn't it op

You say yes to some ,as well, the environment and money saving amd appreciating the kindness, next thing you know every broken toy in the neighbourhood ,holey sock and Dora the explora back.pack.ever made somehow finds its way to you or a relative to pass on to you.

It doesn't get any better when they are older either tbh. I keep telling dd1 that her friends are basically cleaning their rooms.out then dumping the rubbish on.you. every time.i have a clear out and a surface becomes visible again, it gets covered with more cushions broken.mirrors and half used tubes of liquid eyeliner

Honestly if you don't have friends who are sensible about this stuff you are better off saying no.

Very ungrateful.

I think you're getting a really hard time.
I don't think you're ungrateful at all and I would hate to have this happen to me at 30 weeks pregnant when I was already busy sorting out all the things I'd bought myself ready for baby arriving.

I passed on a lot of good quality baby clothes in immaculate condition to a workmate, but I asked her first if she was interested in taking it and took photos of it all laid out.
I made it clear that I wouldn't be offended if she didn't like any of it as I'd take anything she didn't want to the charity shop.
That way she wouldn't have found herself with piles of unwanted stuff to sort out.
She ended up taking everything I'd offered so it was a favour for both of us, she got a load of free clothes that she actually liked and I got the clearout I needed.

I am feeling a lot like this, not yet on clothes, but we also don't have space, and have bought precisely 1 babygrow, with more than 3 months until the due date, but have somehow gathered soooo many hand me downs, pretty much everything that we might need, including furniture and bits and bobs and I don't have any problem with hand me downs, I'm all for saving money and the environment, but the problem is that people will not take no for an answer and we don't have space to be a virtuous dumping ground. If I say no, we've already been given a moses basket, I still have to take another one because this one is bigger and will last longer (surely I only need 1, and we've already been given a cot..)? When I say someone already donated a breast pump, this one is better (it never occurred to me before this was an item people passed on). The only one who did accept no for an answer was a colleague offering a pram from his now 19 year old daughter, which he admitted it wasn't in great condition, but he did say OK when I pointed out another colleague had already offered hers. Luckily I've joined a local whats app group for giving away stuff that's not needed, so that's been brilliant. At this rate, we won't actually need to buy anything ourselves, and despite what it might feel like sometimes with so many offers, we are lucky that we can afford to buy things ourselves. Still, as long as we don't get people's used nappies...

My sister keeps offering up her DDs clothes for my be. There is a six year she gap between the two kids

She gets annoyed when I say no thanks. How am I supposed to store clothes that are of no use for for six years? Just pass them in to somebody closer in age.

She's not offering to he kind. It's the easy option for her.

I had his happen, my fellas cousin kept off loading clothes I didn't want. A lot were still new but I didn't want or need them!
Luckily fellas sister had a boy 6 months later so I gave them all to her. On the other hand, I'd go shopping with fellas sister and whilst buying clothes for my son she would be sure to tell me she couldn't wait for my son to grow out of the new clothes so she could have them for her son, cheeky bitch.

Keep the clothes. Guarantee one night when baby has puked and pooed over every carefully chosen baby gro you have you'll be rummaging in those bin bags for something for them to wear, and you won't care less what colour it is!