I have a similar situation whereby my older sister, of 3 years, has always had a lot of help. At university she never had a job as my parents supported her, from age 21 - 26 she paid no rent (living with boyfriends and my parents) and still got handouts to decorate and renovate her houses, go on expensive holidays etc. I had 3 jobs at university and paid all of my bills from age 21. At 22 I paid full London rent (aware that was my choice). Recently she became pregnant and my mum bought her a house. Despite my sister having a good job in Dubai, she didn't save any money (but had a great time buying designer clothes, extravagant holidays and plastic surgery) and when she returned to the UK pregnant, my mum spent her life savings on a house for her. My mum had told me those were for a house for her and her partner as they wanted to move closer to our family. I feel so bad for my mum but at the same time I really don't. When I was desperate to get into the creative industry for a career and the job I was offered was very low salary, my parents did not offer to help me (even though I was only 22). They instead said things like 'I don't think you should take the opportunity because how will you afford to live?' insinuating I would not receive any help from them and they've never supported me - even when I lost my job and lived independently in London. Yet, my sister is pregnant and is flat out bought a house. Just to rub salt in the wound, it is a brand new house and has been kitted out with luxurious new furniture. I have had to scrimp and save and also miss out on opportunities - not just holidays - things like job opportunities as I was made to feel I couldn't afford - i had to have my own back as my family wouldn't for the past 4 years whilst not asking/or expecting a penny. My mum tells me she helps me all time but I feel like she delusional as she might buy me a coffee when were together but nothing more ever.... which is fine. However I don't understand why she bought my sister a house when
I realise I am envious of my sisters easy ride to enjoying life and essentially having the penny and the bun. But everytime she brings up money she complains how she is so hard done by, even though she got bought everything... (a house, a £1k pram, new furniture, new clothes etc etc). I have not been given anything and even if I need money, I simply deal with it and sacrifice opportunities but she will continue to get hand outs. I never say anything to this depth because I don't want to upset my mum but when I mention that my sister receives a lot of help, she either says one of these few things; that she does help me (wheres my house? I'm joking i know she can't buy two houses at once) or she tries to diffuse the situation saying she doesn't think its the case, or she will remind me of the trauma my sister when through when she became pregnant in Dubai (where you not allowed to be unmarried and pregnant - though the law recently changed), she had to come home. I feel kind of gaslighted by the situation and I am worried that I am beginning to dislike my family and this shift (which I am now realising has always sort of been there) is causing a massive rift in my relationship with them. I feel like very sad about the whole situation, and I sometimes hope I'm completely wrong but I just feel so cast aside. I have recently taken a pay reduction to do a job I have always wanted, and when i was offered between two jobs my mum didn't even hear the job roles and immediately said take the one that pays more.... This is the feeling I get from them all the time. What do I do?