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Original poster

Dp night out, I don't want him to go

376 replies

Summerdaysx · 29/06/2021 21:33

NC for this as I am a regular poster.

Dp has a night out planned for Saturday.

A few things are bugging me,

We have so much extra to pay for this month and just simply cannot afford it.

His friends are all talking about "getting the pussy" "going to lap dancing clubs".

He will be out until god knows what time and expect me to pick him up, I have a child.

Now I am in no way going to tell him "he's not going"

But what can I do? He will still go anyway no matter what I say!

I wish he would have to isolate for 10 days .

I simply cannot be bothered with all the arguing about it.

He will just say we will get by with money "we always do". He honestly has an answer for everything.

OP posts:
diddl · 01/07/2021 13:33

@Summerdaysx

What have I done? I stupidly have been texting him. He has told me that no, no matter what he's not coming back. I feel numb, I feel like I'm going to be sick. I have no strength
Don't demean yourself Op.

Respect his decision to go & make sure he sticks to it!

Yellowcrockpot · 01/07/2021 13:37

Hes done you a great favour tbh, op.

Bluesheep8 · 01/07/2021 13:46

How old is your child?

Which one? She's got two.

Bluesheep8 · 01/07/2021 13:51

Apologies for not reading updates op. Flowers

Lex345 · 01/07/2021 14:38

I really feel for you OP, what an utter prick he really is. But please, for your own self respect, stop texting this moron. And stick to it when he comes crawling back on Sunday/Monday. You can and will do so much better. He will soon realise that he isn't such a Lothario after he gets roundly rejected on his night out. Because he will. Women won't be falling over themselves to be pawed at by a group of lecherous, desperate, mysogynistic, middle aged drunks. He will be put in his place and then will come back with his tail between his legs.

Original poster
Summerdaysx · 01/07/2021 14:46

Thank you all. My car has now failed it's mot aswel so more stress added to all of this.

How can I find the strength? I am literally begging him to come back and he is telling me no.

I know it's pathetic begging him but I do really love him, I feel totally lost. My body feels numb I can't stop crying

OP posts:
ThumbWitchesAbroad · 01/07/2021 14:54

Please don't beg, it won't make any difference to him. I know what you mean, I really do - but he's not worth you love if he treats you this way.

Cry it out - but keep going. You still have a little one to take care of, focus on your child for now. Talk to your mum - tell her what's happened, and any friends - get some support. There's no mileage in pretending it's not happening, so get people on side quickly.

Bugger re, the car, hope something can be done about that :(

Lex345 · 01/07/2021 15:01

You will find the strength. How cold and heartless he is when you are clearly so distressed. Please, for your own sake, stop feeding his ego by texting him. He is not worth the effort. And please remember how cold he is being when he flips the switch on Sunday.

MadeForThis · 01/07/2021 15:15

Stop begging him.

Original poster
Summerdaysx · 01/07/2021 15:19

Thank you all. I am trying to be strong infront of my daughter, I don't want her to know that I feel like I am dying inside right now, she doesn't deserve any of this. I will try to keep going but honestly felt like when I was texting it was making him see how much I care but obviously not.

He has said he needs some space to clear his head. But his head was fine yesterday morning?!

OP posts:
Sn0tnose · 01/07/2021 15:31

I’m a cynical old bag OP, but I think this might be a pre cursor to him going out on Saturday, doing whatever single men do and having no guilt about it because he was ‘single’, before playing with your head a bit more, then finally agreeing to return, leaving you afraid to question him about anything he wants to do in case he decides to leave again.

I know you’re devastated now and probably in physical pain because it hurts so badly. But if he decides to come back in a week or two, he will treat you like shit forever more. He has no respect for your mum, spending money when you owe it to her, and zero respect for you and your child. This man is not a prize. The best thing I can advise you to do is to bag up all his stuff in bin bags, separate your finances, change the locks and loudly declare yourself single.

chickenyhead · 01/07/2021 15:32

Sorry OP, maybe he needs a clear conscience for whatever pushy plans they have for Saturday.

He will come crawling back once he has done what he wants to do

Polly271220 · 01/07/2021 15:34

He's playing you!
Fuck him off he's a selfish prick and only doing this so he has no guilt!
Bet he's back Sunday! And from your posts you will allow him back...you deserve better!

diddl · 01/07/2021 15:35

"when I was texting it was making him see how much I care"

It'll be showing him that he can pick you straight back up if/when he wants to.

He has shown you that he's ok with messing you about/playing games.

He is treating you very badly-don't let him.

AramintaLee · 01/07/2021 15:35

I'm so sorry OP. I agree with others who have suggested he's doing this so he can be "free and single" for his night out. He can use the classic "we were on a break" excuse for shagging someone else.

Honestly change your locks, change your phone number and don't look back.

KurtWilde · 01/07/2021 16:04

OP he wants to be 'single' for his night out. When that's over with he can inch his way back in and say he didn't cheat because you weren't together at that point. Honestly, I married a man like this. It doesn't end well.

Briarshollow · 01/07/2021 16:16

Totally agree with other posters.

The slimy little cunt has engineered a situation whereby he can be single in his revolting night out to do whatever and whomever he pleases. He knows he holds all the power as you’re already begging him, so he’ll come back on Sunday or Monday when his hangover and comedown has subsided.

This is a man with a child. He’s utterly despicable.

Stop begging for his filthy scraps and change your locks. You need to dig deep and do this for your daughter. And down the line, when you realise you’re totally fine without him, you can enjoy telling him to fuck off when he’s begging you for another chance.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 01/07/2021 16:19

@KurtWilde

OP he wants to be 'single' for his night out. When that's over with he can inch his way back in and say he didn't cheat because you weren't together at that point. Honestly, I married a man like this. It doesn't end well.
I'm afraid this is a possible scenario OP that you need to gear yourself up for dealing with. He'll come crawling back when he misses his home comforts and / or doesn't have a sofa to crash on.

You can judge someone by the company they keep and based on the way his friends speak about women and the fact they love strip clubs, I wouldn't want to spend one more day in a relationship with him.

You can do this.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 01/07/2021 16:20

Just a note that if it's a shared home he lives in to, then you can't just change the locks - it's something often suggested on here but isn't legal.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 01/07/2021 16:25

@youvegottenminuteslynn

Just a note that if it's a shared home he lives in to, then you can't just change the locks - it's something often suggested on here but isn't legal.
Too not to, obviously
Atalune · 01/07/2021 17:04

Find your inner warrior because this guy is NOTHING.

Stop begging

Take some time and take stock. This is not how an adult human man behaves.

AnyFucker · 01/07/2021 17:18

Stop begging. I am embarrassed for you.

Original poster
Summerdaysx · 01/07/2021 17:22

It's not a shared home, it's my home. He left the keys he had.

OP posts:
Marauder1994 · 01/07/2021 17:26

@KurtWilde

OP he wants to be 'single' for his night out. When that's over with he can inch his way back in and say he didn't cheat because you weren't together at that point. Honestly, I married a man like this. It doesn't end well.
Yep, this is exactly it. Otherwise he wouldn't have thrown the relationship away for something so small. This is exactly what he planned to do.
Lunde · 01/07/2021 17:38

He want's to be "single" (on a technicality) to join in whatever his mates have planned for the night out. Then he will tell you that it isn't really cheating as you were "on a break".

Make sure you put in a CMS claim today as they don't backdate and it may ease your financial situation.

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