To make him clean it up

[justawrinkleintime]

I probably was but it was pissing me off.

I have three sons and all have been trained that when you’re peeing you aim for the toilet and if you miss them you clean it up. I leave an antibac spray next to the loo and since the age of about 5ish they’ve been taught to spray the antibac and on their own mess and wipe it up. Tbh it stopped them making a mess pretty quickly.

Anyway, my DS9’s friend is over a lot and pisses all over the loo and often the floor as well. I put it down to being in a rush and wanting to get back to playing etc.

I’d cleaned the bathroom this morning and ds’s friend proceeded to piss all over the toilet seat and on the floor. Literally minutes after I’d cleaned it - he was the first one to use it post cleaning.

I took him in and gave him the antibac and told him to wipe it up and clean it himself. He’s also 9 as well btw.

I was nice about it and said we don’t leave the toilet in that state in this house when we use it.

He went home about 15 min ago and his mum messaged me to say she’s appalled I made him clean it.

I’ve responded politely to say “it’s a shame you’re upset but I’m not cleaning up urine of someone old enough to know how to use a toilet properly...”

I’ve been unreasonable, haven’t i?

I’d do the same as you OP.. I’d be very embarrassed if I was the other mum/dad and had never bothered to let my child know he couldn’t just piss randomly wherever he wanted, lazy parenting and very socially unacceptable. And gross.

If an adult friend left a skid mark, would anyone here march them into the toilet and give them bleach and the loo brush to clean it?

I'd hope they wouldn't do it in the first place!

I've heard friends flushing the toilet twice at my house after they've been presumably because they were cleaning up after themselves.

@SquashMinusIsShit

If an adult friend left a skid mark, would anyone here march them into the toilet and give them bleach and the loo brush to clean it?

I'd hope they wouldn't do it in the first place!

I've heard friends flushing the toilet twice at my house after they've been presumably because they were cleaning up after themselves.

Well of course. Just as you'd hope that a child wouldn't get wee on the seat or floor.

But I still don't think that if you found a skid mark in the bowl you'd drag an adult friend from their seat and make them clean it.

But I still don't think that if you found a skid mark in the bowl you'd drag an adult friend from their seat and make them clean it.

Erm I would. I'd be like go clean yer mess up yer dirty bastard!!

You are a hero OP.

I imagine his mother thinks it is your job to clean up after her little darling and he is all out of sorts because you made him do it.

You are absolutely right - he is old enough to to clean up after himself and it sounds as though you handled it well and didn’t make a big fuss. His mum clearly wants to an expecting some sort of apology for upsetting the little darling. I fear for his future partner, bye cause I imagine he will be entitled to think he should be waited on hand and foot.
I say good for you!

If an adult friend left a skid mark, would anyone here march them into the toilet and give them bleach and the loo brush to clean it?

No but then I also wouldn't correct/tell adults off in any of the ways I'd expect to do with a 7 year old child so it's not really comparable. I pick my SD7 up on not using her cutlery at dinner, obviously I wouldn't do that to an adult who acted the same way.

An adult who did these things would have poor manners, whereas children are only just learning how things are done and they won't learn unless adults around them tell them.

His mess, so he cleans, his mother should be appalled that he can't do it @ 9. but I'm guessing,oh my son would never do that

Not unreasonable at all!

I wouldn’t have done this, I wouldn’t do it to any guest in my home. From elderly adult to small child I’d not humiliate them like this, by marching them in to do it.

Nobody would be "humiliated" if they didn't piss everywhere. And yes I have had words with guests who have peed on the seat etc, left skidmarks and one who used a towel because he couldn't find loo roll (on the holder)
And I have made it clear that a 2nd iffence means they don't get to come back.

It would be different if it was, say, my semi-incontinent Grandad. But for all able bodied people who can use a toilet alone? Fair game for a discreet word

I have a really nice black granite floor..my husband and 2 sons regularly pee on the floor.It drives me mad...

Whilst no one wants to wipe up after someone else, I absolutely would not have done this.
It sounded quite humiliating for him. I am very accepting of accidents though as Ds has a bladder condition.
Guests should feel welcome.

The response from the parent sums up perfectly why he pisses all over the floor 🤦🏼‍♂️

He is old enough to know better and if his mom cleans up after him,more fool her

Make him into a decent man and not one that thinks everything magically happens around him

He's old enough to know you pee in the loo. I surprised he wasn't embarrassed to leave the loo in that state.

At 9 he should know how to aim. But you've probably really embarrassed him and if I was his parent I would feel a bit disappointed too. You could have been a lot more discreet, he's a child

@icelollycraving I agree. Humiliating, unnecessary and quite cruel actually.

If he pissed on the living room floor would she still be appalled that he had to clean it up 😂

YANBU.

@LovelyIssues cruel? Catch a grip of yourself.

If a child is embarrassed because they pissed all over the floor and seat and were asked to clean it up, it means they know they shouldn’t have done it.

Being embarrassed because of your behaviour is actually how people learn to function in a polite society if they have parents undoubtedly like you who let them get away with everything just in case they feel ‘humiliated’.

You could perhaps put a ping pong ball in the toilet and tell him to aim for that.

You were spot on.

YANBU. Mothers like that breed slovenly men who are oblivious to their own mess because some biddable little woman always cleans it up, in uncomplaining silence.

It does occur to me that he is maybe not lifting the seat? I have three sons and I don't care about the seat being left up, if it means less p* on the floor.

Sorry, being embarrassed because someone has pulled you up on bad behaviour is more what I meant.

YADNBU! That boy is going to grow up into an entitled prick who treats his partner like a slave if his mom thinks he shouldn’t have had to clean up after himself

Teach them to sit down when they pee.

Well, you’ve humiliated a child. OP!
You seem to have got a warm fuzzy feeling from that? Well done!

Incidentally there is nothing to stop people training their boys from sitting on the loo when there is one. They can use a urinal when they are out. It’s macho crap to think that they have to stand up and hose the place, ridiculous!