To make him clean it up

[justawrinkleintime]

I probably was but it was pissing me off.

I have three sons and all have been trained that when you’re peeing you aim for the toilet and if you miss them you clean it up. I leave an antibac spray next to the loo and since the age of about 5ish they’ve been taught to spray the antibac and on their own mess and wipe it up. Tbh it stopped them making a mess pretty quickly.

Anyway, my DS9’s friend is over a lot and pisses all over the loo and often the floor as well. I put it down to being in a rush and wanting to get back to playing etc.

I’d cleaned the bathroom this morning and ds’s friend proceeded to piss all over the toilet seat and on the floor. Literally minutes after I’d cleaned it - he was the first one to use it post cleaning.

I took him in and gave him the antibac and told him to wipe it up and clean it himself. He’s also 9 as well btw.

I was nice about it and said we don’t leave the toilet in that state in this house when we use it.

He went home about 15 min ago and his mum messaged me to say she’s appalled I made him clean it.

I’ve responded politely to say “it’s a shame you’re upset but I’m not cleaning up urine of someone old enough to know how to use a toilet properly...”

I’ve been unreasonable, haven’t i?

Definitely reasonable!

I had an issue with ds doing this.
He had stayed a couple of nights with a friend while I was in hospital.
Aged 9. Usually reliable at home.
But at friends house, I think he was a bit nervous about using wipes etc as he didnt know where they were?
Friends dad grabbed him on the way out of bathroom and said "look, mate. Someone else has to use this bathroom after you. Please leave it as you find it."
Ds said he was sorry and asked where cleaning things were.
Dad apologised for not telling him before.
All good.
Still friends. And he is better at cleaning up having been told by "another adult". Not naggy mum.

@Naunet

I love the idea that’s it’s humiliating to ask someone to clean up their own piss, but NOT humiliating to expect a woman to clean up someone else’s urine!

This 👏👏

I'm still horrified that he didn't even put the seat up not envy!

I had to take DD to be toilet when she was little after a man had used it (single toilet for everyone/anyone to use) he'd had got wee everywhere it was rank, it made me wonder what his bathroom at home was like.

D h started sitting down to wee when DD started walking because she liked to follow.me into the toilet and he didn't want to accidentally get any on the floor & her to stand in it. It is much more hygienic

When I'm humiliated by something, I try and sort it out straight away. Not leave it for someone else to clean

For example, a pp mentioned her daughter getting her period on the bed, most girls would be mortified and try and clean it themselves. NOT leave it everywhere for someone else's dad to clean. We positively humiliate young girls over a natural bodily function that unlike piss they cannot control. Also a 9 year old girl who gets periods has probably only just started and more than likely going to have accidents.

A 9 year old boy will have been pissing on his own for a good few years

@babybythesea

I’m a TA who had to clean a toilet today after some seven year olds peed everywhere. We’ve had to organise our toilets so that instead of boys and girls we have a mixed loo for each class (keeping bubbles separate). The girls couldn’t use the toilet because the boys had weed on the seat. If this lad behaves like this at school it is unpleasant for other kids. If his mum thinks it is not fair that he cleans it then she needs to teach him not to wee on the seat in the first place, or it is not nice for anyone else who follows him in. (I’d have done the same to the culprit at school but couldn’t identify them so I had to do it. I’ve got better things to be doing...)

This. I'm shocked at how horribly messy and inconsiderate boys can be in bathrooms. Parenting failures for sure.

So long as you were nice about it, that's fine. I'd guess his mother is taking this as a criticism of her parenting and serve her damn well right!

The family we bought our house from had two young boys. When we took up the tiles in the bathroom, the tile adhesive stank of old piss. It was absolutely disgusting!

My 2 year old cleans up any mess himself! Would her expectations be so low if she had a girl? Is she going to expect another woman to clean up after him after he moves out as well?!

Well done you!

No, you deserve a medal for good teaching.

Oops need to remind son again

Ps thx

Love this. Bravo! 👏🏻

To all the people who think the OP should have brought it up with the boys mother - do you never correct your kids friends when they are in your house?

I would correct a child who was damaging my property or being unkind to others.

I would not correct a child by making them do a task like cleaning the loo. I would have told the child to be more careful (even if it was not the first time). And then I would have taken it up with the parent and said “We need to sort this before X comes over to play again”

I think there is something off about making a child who is not your own do va task like this - just as others say - it’s not something you would ask an adult to do.

And if one my children came back from a play date saying “X’s mum made me clean the loo” I would think it was weird and want to talk to the mum in question.

My dad is 15 years younger than his next sibling (he likens it to being an only child with siblings)
he’s been pampered all his childhood (my grandparents where really soft with him-I suspect a bit battle worn from his brothers and sister) and then again when he got married
He’s now 71
He pees on the seat and shits up the back of the loo-my mother just sighs and cleans up after him
I wish someone had done exactly what you’ve done and made him clean up after himself-it might have made him think
As it is he genuinely thinks that not only should women clean up after him-they enjoy it too (you’ll be amazed to learn that the only housework he does do is the hoovering 2/3 times a year-he thinks women are ‘programmed’ to work the washing machine,dust and the dishwasher etc-unfortunately this has rubbed off on my brothers who love the fact that women are only there to service their needs at all costs)

I have 4 sons and two daughters-they made/make a mess then they are expected to clean up after themselves
Oddly the boys (apart from potty training when son number 2 discovered he could hit the back of the seat) have never made a mess
They’d be handed a cloth sharpish-and the same goes for their mates
And if their mummies didn’t like it,they’d be asked to come round and sort it out-then neither would be welcome back in my home
One day their girlfriends/wives will thank me for it

I do wonder what happens at this child's house. A child probably wees 5 to 8 times a day; does his mother follow him after every visit or does everyone clean before they use the loo?

I suspect the child gets sent into the garden to pee on the bushes. 🤢

I would correct a child who was damaging my property or being unkind to others.

I would not correct a child by making them do a task like cleaning the loo.

That. Deliberate destructiveness or meanness is one thing. Careless weeing is another.

And if one my children came back from a play date saying “X’s mum made me clean the loo” I would think it was weird and want to talk to the mum in question.
He wasn't asked to do routine toilet cleaning, he was asked to clean up his own mess.

You were kind and reasonable. If it was one of my sons I would apologise to you and remind them to take care over this even if excited and rushed in someone's house. If you were mean I would have been cross but as you tell it then I would be grateful you'd picked him up in it and embarrassed you had to.

Quite right.

[quote Fiddliestofsticks]@Bluntness100

I marched a 7 year old back into our bathroom to make him flush it and wash his hands. I'd been standing outside picking up toys when he came out. No flush. No sound of running water. when I went in, no toilet paper in the toilet so he hadnt even wiped. I took him back in and told him to finish up properly, flush and wash his hands.

The kid is here 4 times a week at least, and I am sick of him leaving his shit in the toilet. So now I take him in every time. His parents just do not care. We regularly get reminders from the school asking the parents of the primary 3 boys to please speak with their children about toilet hygiene as the primary 3 boy's toilet is being left every day unlfushed. Everyone knows it is this kid. Parents cant be arsed to teach him. Their choice in their home, but I will teach him in mind.

Not in an unkind way, and I catch him before he has gone back to play with my son or I ask him to come out and choose a snack but then take him back to the toilet first, so no other kids know he is being asked. But he needs to be told.[/quote]
Exactly. I worked in a school staffroom, where the loos were mixed. One teacher regularly left his shit without flushing. Entitled children make entitled adults.

Glad most of you are in agreement.

I see no reason why young boys and girls shouldn’t be taught the benefits of cleaning up after themselves. Don’t get me wrong sometimes they moan but funnily enough never about the pee on the toilet. I think they know that someone else cleaning up their piss because they were too lazy to aim properly is miles out.

@saraclara

So at what age would you start telling boys to clean their piss off the toilet or the floor?

10? 15? Never?

If your son is 18 and his mates are over and they leave the toilet covered in piss, because no one has ever told them to clean it, is that when you start teaching them?

If an adult friend left a skid mark, would anyone here march them into the toilet and give them bleach and the loo brush to clean it?

If I left skids on the seat and floor at a friend's house, yes, I probably would expect them to march me back in and hand me the anti-bac.