Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To miss our child’s year 6 leavers ceremony?

139 replies

Waitinginmycar · 28/06/2021 16:25

Due to an unfixable scheduling clash my husband can’t attend our daughter’s year 6 leavers ceremony, as he has a work event (he just started a new job, which was absolutely essential after having been made redundant just before covid started in 2020, we have had an awful 16 months!)

I have to look after our two younger ones as siblings aren’t included this year due to covid regulations. I can’t find anyone to help us on the day, I’ve tried everything.

As this is our first child to leave primary school, can you please tell me how big of a deal this ceremony is? Feeling absolutely clueless as we are expats. Will it be awful for DD not to have us there? Is it better if she doesn’t attend? We are thinking we might keep her home.

What would you do?

YABU - she will be fine without family at the event
YANBU - she is better of not attending

Thank you!

OP posts:
Hellocatshome · 28/06/2021 16:39

Have you really tried absolutely everything to get the litte ones looked after because neither of the options you have given are great.

I think it differs from school to school what happens at these events but I have my second leavers assembly this week and having been to my first sons I absolutely wouldn't miss it and wouldn't want DS to miss it either. Some schools it might be a more boring/low key event.

Benediction · 28/06/2021 16:42

Don't keep her home. Year 6 have missed almost every ceremony of transition. Let her have this one.
Can you not hire a babysitter? I would.

Angel2702 · 28/06/2021 16:44

I would look at hiring a one off sitter for an hour to attend this I wouldn’t definitely not have wanted to miss it and mine wouldn’t have wanted to stay at home either.

CaptainMyCaptain · 28/06/2021 16:45

My daughter couldn't go to her eldest's because of work (she is a teacher) so I went instead. Is there someone who could stand in for you?

superduster · 28/06/2021 16:46

All our leavers events have been cancelled as they don't have the space. If they are definitely having the event I would get a babysitter.

BarbarianMum · 28/06/2021 16:46

It's a big deal. She should be there and so (ideally) should you. Or do you have another family member who could attend in your behalf?

Orchidflower1 · 28/06/2021 16:49

She should be there even if you can’t. Are you in the uk( I know you said expat but not where/ to)? I know dn school are “streaming” their awards at the end of the year due to Covid. You have to have a one time secure password to join. Would your school have something similar?

OnTheBrink1 · 28/06/2021 16:50

It is a big deal because most likely every other child in the class will have someone there for them. Your DC might remember the feeling of disappointment for a very long time if you don’t go.
You need to move hell and high water to get your youngest looked after. I have multiple children and also a DC that went through Y6 last year so faced the same.

rainbowunicorn · 28/06/2021 16:52

It is a huge deal. I would think she would be the only child there without someone which really would not be great for her. It would not be great if she didn't turn up either as it really is a big thing for them.

I am sure you would be able to find someone to mind the younger ones for an hour or so.

Smartiepants79 · 28/06/2021 16:56

If you truly want to k ow if it’s worth it for you to go I’d phone school and just ask what they’ve got planned.
Your DD should definitely be there.
There will be other families who can’t get there I would have thought.

Crazycakelady17 · 28/06/2021 16:59

We have just had notification about my DD leavers assembly and it’s limited to one parent and she’s gutted just to have one of us there it would be awful if non of us went
You need to book a babysitter or your DH needs to phone in sick do not miss it or make her miss out either it’s a really big thing

beigebrownblue · 28/06/2021 16:59

Yes you absolutely do need to go. Its so important as transition especially since they have missed so many milestones.

Also for your sake it will give you a chance to bond and say goodbye to mums, dads carers pupils and staff which is so important to do as a live event. It really is a one off.

Youdiditanyway · 28/06/2021 17:00

We’re not allowed to attend our children’s but I would try my best to attend if we could. Is a babysitter an option?

Notwavingbutdrowing3 · 28/06/2021 17:05

Yanbu it's not a big deal and it's COVID times. So you won't be the only parent that can't attend bc of younger siblings.

I missed my youngest's year 6 leavers do as I'd been in hospital at the time pre Covid year and was too unwell to attend. I attended both the others but they weren't bothered.

She lived.

She understood as 10-11 year olds do when you explain.

I got photos of it and even a video from some lovely parent friends.

Ps. Re year6 leavers dos, for my older two, they were more bothered that I sent them in with a spare (clean newish) school t shirt that all their friends could sign eith sharpies (don't forget to send in two different coloured sharpies and an A4 piece of cardboard they can put inside so it doesn't leak through to back) for the last day. We cherish those signed shirts!!! Grin

WTFisNext · 28/06/2021 17:06

If there's literally no way you can make it then your daughter should still go.

I was overwhelmed at how emotional my daughter's year was in their leavers ceremony. It meant so much to them all. Our school filmed it too so anyone who couldn't attend could watch (only 2 adults per child because of capacity) so maybe check if that's happening.

MrsWhites · 28/06/2021 17:08

I couldn’t vote because neither of your options are ideal. Your daughter should definitely be there and really you should be too, it’s a massive deal when you are in year 6.

Do you not have any mum friends who could help you out or know any responsible teenagers who have finished school and would like to earn a little babysitting money.

If you genuinely can’t find anyone then I would give the school a ring and see if they could possibly bend the rules? I’m assuming the assembly with either be outside or after 19th July anyway? If not school might know of a local childminder who might have a space for the morning.

DappledThings · 28/06/2021 17:10

Sounds like the sort of thing that is a much bigger deal than it ought to be. All these things being cancelled might not be a bad thing if they don't start up again. All this ceremony seems so unnecessary.

When did it all start? I moved from Primary to Secondary in 1990 which doesn't seem that long ago in the grand scheme of things but there was certainly no parental involvement in it.

charlotteself · 28/06/2021 17:12

It was a big deal in our kid's school. Every child had someone there even if it was a grandparent in some cases.

Get a sitter, it's an important thing

ineedaholidaynow · 28/06/2021 17:18

You would be wrong to not let her attend, and I would do everything I could to be able to attend too.

It's not the end of the world if the school doesn't hold one, but if they are then it is a big deal to most children. DS played the piano at his, which was when my tears started to flow! Wouldn't have wanted to miss that.

NLondondiva · 28/06/2021 17:19

You absolutely need to go. Can you ask a parent of one of your younger children’s’ friends if they could have them for a couple of hours?

trevthecat · 28/06/2021 17:25

My ds's had been cancelled. I'm so sad for all the years 6's. I'd find a way to be there if I could and I certainly wouldn't take her out of school if you can't go

SE13Mummy · 28/06/2021 17:27

Don't keep her at home but contact the school and ask what form the celebration will take, how long it will last etc. Then ask your DD if she would like you to be there. If she would, use a babysitting service or get recommendations from local parents for a local Year 11 who will look after your younger two. If you're in SE London I can recommend lots of local teens!

HazyDaisy123456 · 28/06/2021 17:29

Can you speak to the school what the assembly entails and or see if they could make an exception? My DC both did a leavers Assembly and I bust a gut to get there for both and the usual gobby prima donna kids hogged centre stage as per. My DC barely featured for more than 10 seconds I doubt either would remember whether I was there or not now aged 16 and 17. Don’t beat yourself up OP.

Okcookie · 28/06/2021 17:30

Get a babysitter and go, it's a big deal for her.

motogogo · 28/06/2021 17:31

Never even heard of a leavers ceremony? New thing? I'm sure many parents won't attend as they have this thing called work