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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Kids that shriek?

285 replies

Turkishangora · 27/06/2021 12:53

Just that really, why?? My 2 don't, not because they're miraculously non shrieking... Because we've drummed it into them not to. I'm not talking toddlers, I'm talking 5+ when they feel the need to shriek, shout and scream all. The. Time

Can you tell my pandemic experience has been framed by the 9 year old twins next door screaming in their garden throughout?

OP posts:
lynsey91 · 27/06/2021 19:24

My neighbours have a 7 year old daughter who talks at the absolute top of her voice and shrieks and screams all the time. She also has a 2 year old son who shrieks and screams all the time.

They don't have additional needs. Mum also talks at the top of her voice all the bloody time. All I can hear is her going on and on and on. She says the 2 dogs' names and the 2 childrens' names continuously.

They drive me mad

Universe1969 · 27/06/2021 19:26

It’s the shreeking meltdowns that burn holes in my ears

Universe1969 · 27/06/2021 19:27

And yes the neighbours kid does have adhd. Still burns my ears

Spikeyball · 27/06/2021 19:30

When a child shrieks repeatedly ds will scream and slap and bite himself. People are generally not very tolerant of 15 year olds doing that. Tolerance is only expected in one direction in my experience.

Goldenbear · 27/06/2021 19:38

I think if you are aware of that being the outcome for your son and you had vision of that, you would of course have tell your child that they should think about their context. I live next to a train station so I know that the neighbour experiences a level of noise and vibrations that most on this thread would not be comfortable with it be able to tolerate. He also drills, bangs and walks on our garage roof at 7am on a Sunday, it is flipping annoying but what doni do about it, I live in a city and have to accept certain noise.

Spikeyball · 27/06/2021 19:43

If that reply was to me then I don't understand any of that.

qualitygirl · 27/06/2021 19:43

@godmum56 I wouldn't know where to start with (singing) that to be honest. He has a loud voice...end of. So far so good in school and right now it's not the worst trait IMO. He can learn to tone it down as he gets older.

Rabbitheadlights · 27/06/2021 19:47

@prettylittlefool

*12prettyLittlefool

It is just terrible parenting in my opinion. Sensory problems or not it can be nipped in the bud

How so pray tell? Either you will enlighten me or live up to your username?? I will pass it on to DS specialists, I'm sure they'd love to know too?

Goldenbear · 27/06/2021 19:51

Spikeyball, if my DC were causing that level of upset to your son I would tell them to have some self awareness. A girl within my child's friendship group can't help it though so I don't think it is always possible to apply that approach.

WouldBeGood · 27/06/2021 19:53

@Goldenbear

Yes but who decides what is the threshold. Equally, it is so arrogant to declare, with absolute conviction, what constitutes a good/bad parent. I don't think it is great parenting to be obsessed with rules and discipline, it is unimaginative and IMO lazy but I do realise that is just my opinion.
@Goldenbear I’m a very laidback parent, but I think it’s really important that my children are considerate of the needs of others, not just themselves.
Goldenbear · 27/06/2021 20:02

It's not about being laid back it is about being a realist.

Equally, I want my DC to be tolerant of others and not let small things that don't matter occupy their minds.

Spikeyball · 27/06/2021 20:05

"Spikeyball, if my DC were causing that level of upset to your son I would tell them to have some self awareness. A girl within my child's friendship group can't help it though so I don't think it is always possible to apply that approach."

I think if a child is able to not scream repeatedly it is better to tell them to stop doing it quickly before it distresses other people and the damage is done. Just as I step in and stop ds continuing to do things like humping the floor because I can appreciate that other people don't want to see it.

WouldBeGood · 27/06/2021 20:06

@Goldenbear as you were railing against strict parenting it’s important for you to know that it’s not that. It’s about bringing your children up to be considerate individuals. Not subsuming their needs, nor crushing their exuberance. But learning to live in society.

hawkehurstgang · 27/06/2021 20:09

I'm a teacher and in my experience, some kids are just louder than others. You're not an exceptional parent because your child is quieter than others. I also don't think that somehow scaring a child into silence is great either

WouldBeGood · 27/06/2021 20:12

No one is saying children should be silent 🙄

MaleficentsCrow · 27/06/2021 20:19

DS has ADHD. He isn't bad enough to need medicating...but I wouldn't mind the odd valium 😂 he shrieks but only when playing or overly excited/too much energy. I can walk round a shop with him and he won't do it or eating a meal out.

I have to be honest, kids shrieking in their gardens, in play parks, soft play, at the beach doesn't bother me. It's just kids playing. Kids are noisy. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Kanaloa · 27/06/2021 20:26

Nobody has suggested ‘scaring a child into silence.’ Much like teaching a child not to run around the house isn’t scaring them into stillness. It’s just teaching your child to behave appropriately.

Goldenbear · 27/06/2021 20:28

Spikeyball, it is not my child and it is not continuous. As much as people are posting onherenhow they don't mind occasional shrieking, I get the impression that even the occasional is offensive to some. Part of fitting in to society is also understanding, tolerating differences. If someone is louder than you and you have been taught that there is only 'one' level of volume to be tolerated, or one type of way to be exuberant or one type of context to be excited in, well a) you will not understand difference and b) your adukt life will be very difficult indeed when you realise your parents had their way of doing things but this was actually not the only way.

WouldBeGood · 27/06/2021 20:28

I think I now have some insight into why the neighbours’ kids are allowed to express themselves in the form of shrieking

Greenmarmalade · 27/06/2021 20:29
  • GrandmasCat

My son really didn’t shriek, but then he never got anything out of the first time he tried.

Same for tantrums.

The level of negotiation he has developed to get what he wants without shrieking or tantrums has driven me up to the wall for years though.*

Do you really think children have tantrums just to get something?

LemonRoses · 27/06/2021 20:31

Children shriek because their parents allow them to.

Goldenbear · 27/06/2021 20:33

My DC have been known to run around the house, again not something I'm particularly troubled over as it is usually when their friends have been here. To be fair this was more when they were younger, possibly a winter playdate after school and a lets pretend we are mermaids and sea monsters or something like that. Seriously not bothered, don't think I'm a terrible parent, I'm just happy they are playing and using their imaginations.

Goldenbear · 27/06/2021 20:35

I agree with Greenmarmalade and would add that 'the never did it again posts' slightly scare me.

Goldenbear · 27/06/2021 20:36

Yes LemonRoses, spot on, sorry what is your insight here?

Goldenbear · 27/06/2021 20:37

Mine don't shriek because they want something, they do it spontaneously, they don't check with me first.

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